My Break up Story

[kohsa_23]

Hello Friends

 

First of all a very big thank you to to you all for sharing your break up stories, it gave an enormous strength, knowing am not the only one, so I thought let me share my story.

 

My girlfriend and I broke up one month back. She is 44 year old Russian based in London. She was married three times before and has had number of relationships, she has 3 children's from different those three marriages. I am not British but have been living in England for last 5 years, working for a finance company.

 

We were together for 9 months and unfortunately my mom got cancer and dad had an heart surgery few years back, so I had to travel back to my country for few months, so she put up a conditions if i dont come within 3 months she will leave me, I told her I was going to get late by few months but she left even before the completion of 3 months.

 

I have been very depressed and haven't been eating and sleeping for quite sometime. I have even begged her to come back but she has refused, 3 weeks back, she went to a rave and met a guy there and in the first week itself they decided to get married on 11th next month.

 

She used to tell me we are soul mates, I will always be in her heart etc etc but from the time i told her I will be late coming back, she now says she doesnt like my personality, the new guy is her soul mate, he is abetter person than me. Its funny how she changed so fast.

 

Once before we have broken up and she got a new guy within 2 days of breaking up and we had a huge fight but she got back to me after few days.

 

I had lent her some money to apply for passport but since she wasnt applying so I asked her to give to another friend who needed it at first she agreed then after a day she started bitching about my friend, who happens to be my childhood friend, further she added she doesnt trust him and he is not my true friend. Later on she messaged me saying I am aplying for passport next month so I didnt say anything and since then we havent had any communication.

 

She wants to be friends with me but I dont think she worth being a friend also. She wanted unconditional love but she was setting conditions for the relationship. Funny thing is I have even got a tattoo of her name on my arms hahaha.

 

I dont know what to think of her.

Edited December 1, 2013 by kohsa_23
wanted to add more

[Meadowgreen]

Hello Friends

 

First of all a very big thank you to to you all for sharing your break up stories, it gave an enormous strength, knowing am not the only one, so I thought let me share my story.

 

My girlfriend and I broke up one month back. She is 44 year old Russian based in London. She was married three times before and has had number of relationships, she has 3 children's from different those three marriages. I am not British but have been living in England for last 5 years, working for a finance company.

 

We were together for 9 months and unfortunately my mom got cancer and dad had an heart surgery few years back, so I had to travel back to my country for few months, so she put up a conditions if i dont come within 3 months she will leave me, I told her I was going to get late by few months but she left even before the completion of 3 months.

 

I have been very depressed and haven't been eating and sleeping for quite sometime. I have even begged her to come back but she has refused, 3 weeks back, she went to a rave and met a guy there and in the first week itself they decided to get married on 11th next month.

 

She used to tell me we are soul mates, I will always be in her heart etc etc but from the time i told her I will be late coming back, she now says she doesnt like my personality, the new guy is her soul mate, he is abetter person than me. Its funny how she changed so fast.

 

Once before we have broken up and she got a new guy within 2 days of breaking up and we had a huge fight but she got back to me after few days.

 

I had lent her some money to apply for passport but since she wasnt applying so I asked her to give to another friend who needed it at first she agreed then after a day she started bitching about my friend, who happens to be my childhood friend, further she added she doesnt trust him and he is not my true friend. Later on she messaged me saying I am aplying for passport next month so I didnt say anything and since then we havent had any communication.

 

She wants to be friends with me but I dont think she worth being a friend also. She wanted unconditional love but she was setting conditions for the relationship. Funny thing is I have even got a tattoo of her name on my arms hahaha.

 

I dont know what to think of her.

 

Hi there,

 

I just want to say I'm so sorry you had to experience this on top of everything that's been going on with your family. I also want to say that she is a horrendously selfish person and if I was you, I would run so far into the hills she wouldn't see me for dust.

 

What kind of narcissistic, emotionally stagnant person - who claims they're your soulmate, no less - tells you 'hey, I know your parent who you deeply love is sick and all, but if you don't come galloping back to me the moment I click my fingers, I WILL swan off with someone else and drop you like it's hot, kthxbye'

 

The fact that she's been married 3 times and seems to push out kids left right and centre just indicates to me what a mess she is. This woman is terribly codependent, okay? She's a leech constantly on the lookout for a host. And how 'marvellous' of her, that she's willing to be your friend? Well let me tell you something hunny, friends don't crush their friend's spirit by telling them they're ditched if they spend too much time with their ailing parent. Friends don't throw friends aside like trash!

 

You hit the nail on the head really when you said that 'she wants unconditional love yet she was always setting conditions on our relationship'. She wants the whole package on HER terms. She wants you to be her little lapdog willing to eat scraps from her hand, yet she wants you to fall all over yourself catering to her every need. You know I'm gonna tell you to get those tattoos covered up, right? You're not her property!!

 

I love how these empty people throw the word 'soulmate' around. First off darling, you need a SOUL to have a SOUL-MATE, and this wench wouldn't know a soul if one bit her on the ass. I'm glad you've walked away from her, but now you've got to drive it home. Erase her from your life and really spend some time thinking about why you would let such a hollow human being treat you this way. You sound like a loving person, but you first need to love yourself before you can love anyone else.

 

I wish you the best of luck.

[Zoe Lilith]

I fell so hard for that: "WE ARE SOUL MATES" talk. I started to believe that it really is true. You seem like a nice person, you deserve better than that.

[kohsa_23]

Thank you very much both of you! Hugs

[Meadowgreen]

I fell so hard for that: "WE ARE SOUL MATES" talk. I started to believe that it really is true. You seem like a nice person, you deserve better than that.

 

Me too, Zoe. I think it's evil to say that to someone if you're going to treat them like crap.

[Zoe Lilith]

Thank you very much both of you! Hugs

 

Stay strong! I am in an emotional rollercoaster myself, at the moment and understand that it is easier said than done...I wish that I could follow my own advice.

[Zoe Lilith]

Me too, Zoe. I think it's evil to say that to someone if you're going to treat them like crap.

 

I believe that they probably meant it or felt lie that at some point..But soul mates don't break up, they stick together, no matter how difficult the situation is or what the circumstances are.

[Meadowgreen]

Stay strong! I am in an emotional rollercoaster myself, at the moment and understand that it is easier said than done...I wish that I could follow my own advice.

 

You'll get there. Be kind to yourself. Yes you'll have 'wobbly days' and feel like you can't persevere, but you can.

 

May I say as well, because it's always nice to hear, you are a very beautiful lady! I'm sure once you're in a good place again you'll be spoilt for choice out of potential suitors!

[Zoe Lilith]

You'll get there. Be kind to yourself. Yes you'll have 'wobbly days' and feel like you can't persevere, but you can.

 

May I say as well, because it's always nice to hear, you are a very beautiful lady! I'm sure once you're in a good place again you'll be spoilt for choice out of potential suitors!

 

Thank you so much Meadowgreen. I don't think that looks are important, nor do I think of myself to be a good looking woman. The point is that I got back having the feeling that I never thought I will have towards that individual. I hat ethe way I feel...

[kohsa_23]

We have to be strong to pick ourselves from where they left us. We shouldn't let them be our main goal and objectives of life. I try and keep myself busy with work, help people who are in need, we have to remember there are people who have suffered worse than us and there ate people are suffering everyday but they still look forward to the next day. There are people fare more deserving of our love then these jerks.

[headinthecloud]

We have to be strong to pick ourselves from where they left us. We shouldn't let them be our main goal and objectives of life. I try and keep myself busy with work, help people who are in need, we have to remember there are people who have suffered worse than us and there ate people are suffering everyday but they still look forward to the next day. There are people fare more deserving of our love then these jerks.

 

Good attitude. You sound like a very caring person but I agree with meadowgreen - you first need to love yourself before you can love anyone else.

 

Your ex is emotionally unstable and is always looking to others for stability, then runs when she doesn't get the constant attention she needs - definitely narcissistic. The attraction is that they are exciting people and that can be blinding.

 

She did you a favor by running off...feel bad for the new guy as he will have bigger problems than you. Work on your self esteem. You deserve great love, but you have to love you.

 

The world is beautiful. Have faith in what will be.

[kohsa_23]

But I have failed to understand How could she agree to marry someone whom she knows for a week and have a family? We wanted to get married too but were waiting for her divorce, she got her divorce paper on 24th October and on 2 November she was with this guy haha

[Zoe Lilith]

But I have failed to understand How could she agree to marry someone whom she knows for a week and have a family? We wanted to get married too but were waiting for her divorce, she got her divorce paper on 24th October and on 2 November she was with this guy haha

 

I don't mean to sound rude, but she doesn't seem to be emotionally involved in a relationship. Either way, you are better off without her.

[kohsa_23]

Yeah that could be true, anyway had a great day today after a long time and it's all because of you, Thank you and hugs!

Edited December 2, 2013 by kohsa_23
wanted to add

[kohsa_23]

Just found out that she lied to me, she met this guy on a dating site and went on a date to a rave.

[kohsa_23]

Tomorrow she is getting married

[kohsa_23]

She is getting married tomorrow, do you think I should wish her? Have maintained NC for last 3 weeks

[Meadowgreen]

No. Maintain NC. She'd get a sick kick out of any contact from you, especially if it's to wish her well for her wedding. Don't do it! Move on and forget this cowbag.

[kohsa_23]

Thank you. Will do as you have said

[kohsa_23]

HI Friends

 

I broke "NC", I called her quite a few times, she didn't answer then I left her a message still haven't heard from home. I have been missing her since last few days and don't know how I cope since am going back to London.

[Chi townD]

Okay...Russian probably on a visa in London. Been married 3 times and has 3 kids from 3 different men. She gave you ultimatums on how your relationship should be (even in the face of a family emergency).

 

8 December, you say that she went to a rave on a date.

 

9 December, you post that she's getting married the next day. Dollars to donuts that new hubby isn't a Russian citizen. Sorry to say it, but could it be that she's doing ANYTHING to stop herself from being deported back to Russia?

 

Personally, I think you dodged a HUGE bullet! Leave it alone! English girls are more fun anyway!

[kohsa_23]

Hi All

 

am really sorry, I broke NC. We spoke for sometime and everything was fine, we had a normal conversation, and decided to remain friends, I called her again 2 days later, she didn't answer and texted saying "I don't cheat on my husband".

 

When she had started seeing this guy, which was 2 months back I had lent her some money, so I asked her " where was your husband when you needed financial help", you didn't remember him then? In bad temper I asked her to return the money I had lent her, to which she replied that, "money was payment for sleeping with me and wasting my time".

 

I have been very hurt by her reply and I have sent her nasty reply. I don't want to have anything to do with her, want to move on bit it has been very difficult for me.

 

Would appreciate your help. Thank you.

[BigGirlPantiesOn]

You are pursuing a married prostitute.

 

You realize this, right?

[kohsa_23]

Yes I did! I felt I dated a whore.