youcanever Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 Friends, I have a problem. My ex broke up with me 6 months ago and told me to get out of her life. I kept that promise and tried to moved on for couple of painful months. Then I really moved on and seeing her pictures and even her life experiences didn't hurt me at all. It still doesn't hurt seeing her happy. I met tons of girls in last 6 months and I am happy she broke up with me because I am so much better than 6 months before of myself. She called me couple of times after I went NC. Sent me texts. I replied them, took the call but a months ago, I was the one who told her "don't contact me again". Since then she didn't contact and I feel better with myself. But time to time I check her photos and see what she is up to. That is the problem. Seeing her doesn't hurt me at all but seeing what she is accomplishing with her life makes me feel bad about myself. Feeling like I am nothing and I am accomplishing nothing. She is only 20 and she is so cute, have tons of friends and she sings jazz songs, planning to do student exchange program in europe, she goes to seminars to improve herself in her education, she hosts radio shows for her university, has expereince on riding glider and when she updates her facebook photo 87 person likes it. Damn. And on the other hand, I am 24, and graduated 8 months ago. I am a mechanical engineer and working at one of the best automotive companies as a product development engineer for 7 months and learning a lot. My only hobby is hitting the gym. But I read and try to find seminars or conferences to improve myself. That is all. And when I update my facebook photo, only 13 person likes it. When I compare myself with her I feel so down. She is doing wonders, so social, so intellectual and everyone loves her. On the other hand, don't have much friends. Only good looking dude hitting gym and doing great at his job as an engineer. That is all. Yes, checking up on her is wrong you will say but on the other hand maybe it should give me motivation to be better. But I am no getting better. What should I do? Why am I not as good as she is? How is she that good? Need serious help.
headinthecloud Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 Theres a poem called "Desiderata" that gives insight which can hopefully help. Desiderata Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. © Max Ehrmann 1927
flight E Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 It's a human sentiment that occurs to some people during the healing process after sometime this feeling will wear off too. So just hang on in there
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