letsplaygofish2 Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 My ex and I have been broken up for nearly a month, on and off. Though we agreed to non-communication, I broke it because a business opportunity popped up that was everything he dreamed of this past week. My ex has been the best that I've ever had. We were emotionally compatible, he was sensitive to my needs and I was to his. We lived together for nearly 7 months, together for a total of 10 months. Everyone thought we were the perfect couple that would eventually get married. Unfortunately, he freaked out and abruptly abandoned a work project we were working on together. Then he broke up with me. Everything has gone downhill since then. I have come to peace that we are no longer together, because I am starting to put the pieces together based on everything I've seen in the last 2 months. My ex grew up in an abusive household, his mother suffered a traumatic brain injury many years later. He has a PhD in Educational Psychology and was a teacher. Today, he is unemployed, broke, no job prospects and has no idea what to do with his life. I know this is due to low self-esteem, lack of confidence and a ton of fear. He also seems to have an attachment disorder, but this was not apparent when we first started dating. He's also cut out his family, all of his friends, broke up with me because he thinks everyone else is the problem... he's always blaming. Anyway, going back to the topic - the business opportunity failed because he went into it demanding to be named 'interim head chef' at a bakery and wanted to control the existing staff. However, he has no kitchen experience, does not have his health certification and went in criticizing the business and the team. Needless to say, this didn't work out. At this point, I am seeing patterns over and over again. But he wasn't like this when I met him. I think he's losing his mind. He has illusions of grandeur, has started lying, blaming and built up anxiety. I am worried about his mental health, but don't know what to do. He has no more friends, no family and he rents a room in a house with some pretty mentally unstable people. What do I do? Should I just stand by and watch him spiral out of control? I care about all of my friends, including him. I am treating him as I would with any friend; I do not want to get back together with him. What should I do?
flitzanu Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 you shouldn't do anything. you're broken up and you shouldn't try to involve yourself in his life or his impending mistakes, because 1) he isn't going to listen, and 2), he isn't going to care. 2
Author letsplaygofish2 Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 Yeah, I think you might be right. I just saw that he updated his OKCupid profile... I guess he wants to just pretend like he is ok and find another woman to drain her time and money. Very sad... Now I feel so stupid for wasting my time and tears on this person.
Author letsplaygofish2 Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 How could I not see the true colors of this person? And I had every intention of marrying and having children with this person. What the hell? I went as far as to help him rebrand himself as a consultant and he flaked out so many times. Thank goodness my clients/friends don't think I'm the crazy one... ARGHHHHHH. Last month he worked with me for 2 hours, so I owe him some money. But after this, I'm not going to pay him at all. He can just suffer from his own actions. I'm tired of being used... I also feel sorry for the next woman he sucks in. 1
Author letsplaygofish2 Posted December 2, 2013 Author Posted December 2, 2013 I don't know why I did this. I found him on OKC where we first met... sent him a message. I'm just so hurt by all of this. He replied, but he only blames me for not being able to control my emotions. I am so mad at myself...
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