letting someone down gracefully (again)?

[flitzanu]

i made a bit of a rookie mistake.

 

an ex of mine, short term, from nearly 2 years ago, that i'm still in touch with, had a bit of a rough life situation happen and needed a friend...and i was the only one available at the time.

 

so i go visit, hadn't seen her in nearly two years (but have talked), and sure enough...once i was around her she decided she "wanted" me. i'm incredibly nice and passive about things like this, and had to delicately back my way out of the situation...but now she's a little enamored again, and i'm not entirely sure the best way to...back off...although i've been clear vocally that it isn't going to happen.

 

just curious from the girls what the most sensitive approach would be on something like this, or if just simply ignoring her (as i'm doing) is the best thing to do.

[headinthecloud]

When emotions run high it's important to be very clear about your actions ; explicitly clear. If you still want to support her then you have to be direct with her, something to the effect of:

 

"I understand you're going through a hard time right now and I am here to help you but only as your friend. I realize this may sound hurtful but that's not my intention. I simply don't want to mislead you in any way and give the wrong impression."

 

It's tough to swallow but the key is to make your intentions known. If she continues to pursue you thereafter then she's not being respectful of your wishes. No respect = no friendship. Good luck.

[flitzanu]

that sounds perfect, thanks for the insight