Don'tKnow Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 (edited) I have a lot of history with this girl, but I will try to keep it short. I dated the this girl in high school for a year and she ended up breaking up with me after a little over a year. It was completely out of the blue, and devastated me. I did everything wrong after we broke up. I begged, pleaded, made a complete fool of myself. This just pushed her away even farther. We had little contact for the next few months, as she ignored me while I still tried to get her back. She eventually told me that she had cheated on me right before we broke and I started to talk to her less and less. About 2 years after we broke up, I started to get serious with another girl, and of course my ex come roaring back into my life. I dumped the girl I was with and took her back and chalked up her cheating on me due to simply being drunk and wanting to experience other people as we were so young... Over the next two and a half years we began a LDR as we both were at different colleges. We managed to see each other at least once a month, during every break we had, and over summer. I felt like we were really meant to be together and we both discussed being with each other forever. This was by far the happiest time of my life. No one had ever made me as happy as this girl did. Thinking about her would literally put the biggest smile on my face. Than came Last year when she decided that she wanted to study abroad. I was fully supportive of her decision and told her she would regret it so much if she didn't. She left this fall to study abroad and we both knew it would be extremely difficult, but we were so committed to each other and our relationship that we knew we could make it work. We weren't able to talk as much as her wifi was complete ****, so skype was impossible. We talked to each at least once a day, and texted each other all day. The last month was tought as we seemed to be fighting on the phone. I became so stressed with school and work that we talked far less than what I would have liked. 3 weeks ago, she went to visit family friends, one of them was a guy her age who she told me would continually text her saying how she beautiful she was. I am not the jealous type and completely trusted her. She told me she was not attracted to him whatsoever. Well she stopped talking to me the weekend she went and visited her family friends. I texted her and asked why she was ignoring me that past weekend. She responded back over text saying she doesn't know if I am the one. Says she has changed since she left, and wants to break up. I was completely blind sided. Just a week ago she had received my letter and called me saying how happy it made her and how she was literally in tears because she missed me so much. I talked to her on the phone the next day and told her I was fine with the breakup and told her I didn't have much to say. I knew fighting the break up would just push her away. We texted later that night, and she told me how she missed me and didn't know if she was making a mistake, but I told her I agreed that we should take a break. I found out indirectly the next day that she indeed did hook up with that guy, and thus didn't talk her out of anger and the fact I was incredibly hurt. She texted me 5 days later saying she missed me. 2 days after that she texted me letting me know she was going on a trip for the week and would't be able to talk. I wanted her back so badly but didn't respond to either message. Halfway into her week long trip I sent her a message saying I was over being ****ed over and that I wanted to move on completely. I really thought she was over it and didn't love me anymore. I wanted to move on, yet I was still so in love. She gets back from her trip and texts me and says how she made a huge mistake and practically begged me to take her back. She says she wished she could take everything back that she said so she could come home in three weeks and be in my arms where she belongs. I don't know what to say. I love this girl so much and before she cheated on me I really thought we were gonna get married. I know I deserve better, but she is my best friend and I love her more than anything. I responded to her messages saying I don't deserve any of this. What do I do? Should i give her another chance? Should i move on? I am so ****ing lost. Edited December 1, 2013 by Don'tKnow
mtnbiker3000 Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 Without even reading your post at all. The answer is NO!!! 3
mtnbiker3000 Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 Everyone deserves a second chance. She got it and pissed it against the wall. She shouldn't get a third. I disagree. Cheaters deserve d*ck!!!
Author Don'tKnow Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 You guys are right, I really should just move on
mtnbiker3000 Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 I don't believe it's that simple. Serial cheaters do not deserve an inch. But anyone can have a slip. It's not OK, not even once!!! It is that simple. Keep your pants on unless your with your partner. Easy... If one wants multiple partners, then one shouldn't / can't be in a RS!!
Me-23 Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 As much as it hurts now, walking away from all this will pay off big time in the long run. 2
mtnbiker3000 Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 Everyone's opinion is different. Viva la diversity. Hmmm. So this is opinion, huh? Or just being diverse? Well, maybe if it is openly discussed, but done behind ones back? 100% deception and purely sketchy!! Whatever
CaliBabe Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 As much as it hurts now, walking away from all this will pay off big time in the long run. YES. This is your brain talking. You know you should move on. You gave her a second chance and she totally screwed you over. Don't you feel disrespected? How will you feel if you are move invested? Married with kids? How would you feel? There are plenty of women who will love you and never cheat. 1
mtnbiker3000 Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 I could go into a really long explanation, but i doubt you'd be receptive to it. My advice was to the OP. He should move on. Well. I don't really want to get into a big debate either. But from my point of view, there is no explanation of any length that can justify infidelity.
MrBossMan Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 The answer is 100%, without doubt, an irrevocable "no," and I'll tell you why... If a woman shows anything besides a consistent desire to be with YOU ALONE, then you'll end up either played, dumped, unhappily married, divorced, etc. Will a good woman ever get upset at you irrationally? Maybe, but extremely rarely if ever, like if you've been together for 2 years and it happens once or, at most, twice. Will the right woman think another guy is hot? Yes, but if she does, and she actually meets or talks to him, he will not even get her to giggle. Why? Because she will be repulsed and uninterested in the idea of any man having her attention except you. If she knows she has a physical attraction to someone, she'll probably even avoid them just so no one gets the wrong idea. She won't nag you unless you really are doing something wrong, she won't disrespect you unless you disrespect her first, and she won't put you down. She'll dream about you. She'll talk about you to the point where her friends tease her about her love for you. She'll do nice things for you. She'll be grateful to have you in her life and she'll show it. And you'll love her, too, and she'll show her appreciation. And she'll always be respectful of you and courteous as long as you are. I'm not talking about in the beginning. I'm talking about after you've been together for over a year or two. Now contrast that with your "girlfriend". .... Man up, grow a pair, and immediately dump her without remorse. And serve her an order of no contact for life, even if she shows up to your door begging. Not one word from you to her. You'll start to respect yourself as a real man. The fact that you're even contemplating keeping this traitor around shows me that you probably need some kind of therapy to regain strong levels of self-esteem and self-confidence. I always tell people this: get in the gym or improve your look/wardrobe. Start a side-business, or learn a new impressive skill. Upgrade yourself dramatically. Your self-confidence is wayyyy down low in the red, and I'm not sure if you realize it. This girl brought you down as a man. That's all I have to say. Kick her to the curb NOW! That's an order, soldier! All the best.
BottleofHope Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 To be honest, my ex gf that was with me for 2/6years cheated on me once and I was devastated but still allowed her back. Six months later, she dumped me for another guy she just met 2 weeks. So my suggestion is that, you are a good guy and she needs to learn her lesson. Let her go, one day when she gets hurt, you'll be the first guy that comes to her mind believe me.
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