This may be silly, but if a guy really likes you for awhile, can he lose interest too

[elmichi]

So, I have been dating this guy I met on Tinder for about a month now. Two weeks in he asked kind of what we were and I said that I had recently gotten out of a long term relationship and although I am over the guy (I am lol) I wanted to take things slow with him. At the time, I liked him but wasn't completely sure of the situation and not fully comfortable/myself (as I am with new people). Now, I feel really comfortable with him and text more frequently, am more available in terms of hanging out, being a little silly/odd and I am worried if this will turn a guy off that previously really liked you?

 

Maybe it's just because I dated guys in the past where they have been turned off (due to not fully wanting a relationship) but I just don't want to screw this up! I don't think I am clingy, but I definitely do like texting a lot when I'm bored and hanging out once I am really comfortable with a person.

[MalachiX]

This whole "make yourself scarce" has always struck me as a rather pointless game. If you really like someone then you want to see them and talk to them. That's it.

 

The only people who will respond well to you making yourself scarce are those who probably don't really like you that much in the first place (maybe they just like to screw around with the chase or want someone who is distant enough so they won't have to commit).

 

I think the bigger concern is where your guy's head is at. Telling a guy "I just got out of a relationship and I wanna takes things slow" can sometimes be confusing for us. We don't always know if that's accurate or you're just not that into us. We also don't know if "taking things slow" means you're still actively dating other people.

 

I'm in a similar place to your guy in that I've gone out with someone who just got out of a long relationship and wants to go out but not to be in a relationship. Because of that, I have to leave myself open to dating other people since, even if I like someone, it's hard to wait around for them to figure out when they'll be ready.

 

I'm not saying you should rush into things or that your guy is seeing someone else. I'm just saying perhaps be clear with him and also stop worrying about what is percieved as clingy.

[elmichi]

This whole "make yourself scarce" has always struck me as a rather pointless game. If you really like someone then you want to see them and talk to them. That's it.

 

The only people who will respond well to you making yourself scarce are those who probably don't really like you that much in the first place (maybe they just like to screw around with the chase or want someone who is distant enough so they won't have to commit).

 

I think the bigger concern is where your guy's head is at. Telling a guy "I just got out of a relationship and I wanna takes things slow" can sometimes be confusing for us. We don't always know if that's accurate or you're just not that into us. We also don't know if "taking things slow" means you're still actively dating other people.

 

I'm in a similar place to your guy in that I've gone out with someone who just got out of a long relationship and wants to go out but not to be in a relationship. Because of that, I have to leave myself open to dating other people since, even if I like someone, it's hard to wait around for them to figure out when they'll be ready.

 

I'm not saying you should rush into things or that your guy is seeing someone else. I'm just saying perhaps be clear with him and also stop worrying about what is percieved as clingy.

 

Fair enough. I also told him I wanted to take it slow but you're the only guy I'm seeing. So, I think I made it clear that just because I didn't want a relationship didn't mean I was going around talking to other guys.

 

Now that I am comfortable with him, if he wanted to call me his girlfriend, I think I'm ready. I just don't want to awkwardly bring up a forced committment conversation lol. If we are both happy and only seeing each other, do we really need to have the talk?

[MalachiX]

You don't "need" to do anything. Every relationship is different.

 

However, if a guy started out feeling that there were limitations on a potential relationship (i.e. because you wanted to take things slow); it probably wouldn't hurt to let him know that you're more comfortable now. I'm no expert. I just know that sometimes us guys hold back from letting ourselves fall for someone if we're told something like what you told him. We don't want to get hurt so we'll keep going out with the girl but with the assumption that it might not go anywhere. Of course, i may just be projecting my own experience onto this guy. Good luck.