Stone Posted December 30, 2004 Posted December 30, 2004 I feel like trash for posting this but oh well. I have one 4 1/2 year old by one man and I am pregnant with another mans child... I don't like the feeling of this but I know I am a wonderful mother. For those who are in the same situation. What do you do with the childrens last names? What about weekends with the father isn't that a problem if one child goes away and the other doesent? I am so worried about this.
Matilda Posted December 30, 2004 Posted December 30, 2004 I am in this situation. I have a daughter from my first marriage, and twins from my current one. As far as names go, I kept my maiden name when I married my current husband, because I didn't want my daughter to be the only one in the family with a different name. I think my daughter, who is now 12, really appreciates this. My son, the one that doesn't have autism, is just beginning to be aware at age 5 that his sister has a different father. My daughter has been staying with her Dad while on Xmas break, and he has really been asking a lot of questions, like "Why is Sissy going to see her Daddy?" But he doesn't really have the words yet to ask why she has a different Daddy. I have told him she has a different Daddy, and he has met him on many occasions, but I don't think he really understands yet. My daughter, on the other hand, is very aware that her family is not whole. And even though she has lived with my husband and I since she was 3, I still don't think she feels completely part of the family. She is very close to her Dad, and his family, and I think much of the time she feels torn between the 2 because she wants to be with both. But, on a day to day basis we are all a family, and she thinks of her brothers as her brothers, even though they are half brothers. She has several friends that also live in blended families, so in this way she is not different from her peers. It's not the ideal situation, but it does work, and I think everyone will turn out okay in the end.
Lonestar Posted December 31, 2004 Posted December 31, 2004 I totally understand your concern. All three of my kids are from three failed marriages. It's very hard for me to even reply to this, because I feel like a complete loser when it comes to this topic, but I didn't want you to feel alone in the situation, and now you know there is someone here who did it more than twice. I use my maiden name and all my kids have there father's name. The first born (who is now an adult) was from a teenage pregnancy and a very young marriage that lasted a matter of months. This is probably why I'm trying so hard to make things work with my most recent ex. I want to raise one of my children with their father. Anyway, there are times when I have one child and not the other, and it's not a problem with me or them. Kids adjust well, but I do see that my youngest really enjoys when she can be with both me and her dad at the same time.
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