lila90 Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 Hi all, So this is my first time posting here and I felt like I needed an outlet to express what's happening in my life right now so here it goes. My boyfriend and I have been together a few months shy of 4 years and we have been living together for almost 2 years. Two weeks ago, he sat me down and broke down telling me that he's "confused and doesn't know what he wants" anymore. This came out of nowhere -- overall we have a very healthy relationship and he's a pretty straightforward kind of guy so I knew when he expressed this he meant it. He said he's been feeling indifferent "under the radar" for a couple months and he wants this time to have his space and to gain perspective on the relationship (as well as other things in his life) -- he says he takes me for granted and for some reason he can't see how wonderful our connection is and that in his words, "needs to fix us". When I asked him if I should be "prepared" at the end of the month he said that we should be realistic and understand that a break up is a possibility. My boyfriend recently turned 30, and I think it has been mentally difficult for him and how he views his future and what the next step for us means (aka marriage). The day before I left, he said he can't rule out that this mental crux of his is just "temporary insanity" and that if I asked him a month ago if he would do this he would have said no way. I have moved into another apartment temporarily and agreed the break would last a month and we would reunite at the end of December (with minimal contact only via text). This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life, because I feel like I am losing my best friend. Everyone I know is stunned and shocked by this. How did you handle a "break" in your relationship? Did it make it stronger or did it build a bridge to a full on breakup? Any advice is much appreciated.
MrBossMan Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 He's not in love with you. It's time to let it go. Forget about the break. You can try it, but it's unlikely to make a lasting difference. The reason that I doubt the break will work is because when you love someone and are compatible with them, you don't need to take breaks from them. His confusion probably means that he knows he doesn't love you, but probably still cares enough about you to not want to leave you alone. This will probably result in the pain being dragged out for longer. You should take some time to yourself to figure out where the relationship went wrong and to learn from it. You want to be better prepared for the real thing when all is said and done. Work out. Eat right. Be active physically and socially. Upgrade your wardrobe. Learn an impressive skill. Do something memorable with a few friends. Find happiness as an individual and you will attract someone that you'll love more than this guy.
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