I Think I've Finally Figured Young American Women Out...

[strongnrelaxed]

In all fairness to women, I could say the same on the other side.

 

I am straight, and hence am not sexually attracted to masculine energy.

 

Women who exhibit overly aggressive or masculine traits are great for keeping kids in line, getting a good job, taking care of the cliquey/nasty soccer moms, entertaining guest at home, planning and managing events/vacations, relating to female teachers (nearly 100% femaile monopoly these days), and even bringing home some money - to name a few.

 

But who wants to have sex with someone who acts like that?

 

There is a rare type of woman, very hard to find in America, who embodies raw, powerful feminine sexual energy, and can handle all of the challenges I mention above. Unfortunately they are married to the type of quality men who have the right blend of what some call "alpha and beta" qualities.

 

These women are smart enough to know that real men are a mix of things and that includes strength, passion, and vulnerability among other things. They not only tolerate this, but they will settle for nothing less.

 

Good luck finding such a woman or man. They are rare indeed. If this site has taught me nothing, the common American is all black and white, either/or, simple and dualistic. There is plenty of knowledge and intelligence, but very little real wisdom to be found in America. Maybe there never was and all those movies were just idealistic.

 

 

The woman who can handle reality and not fantasy is the one you are looking for. If she can fall for those pickup games then she is not worth your time unless you just want to get laid. In that case, she is exactly the type you should look for.

[Under The Radar]

I agree that all people exist on a continuum consisting of male and female traits. Like you said, it is important that we try to find a healthy balance between masculine and feminine characteristics. Nothing in this world is sustainable without balance ...... especially relationships.

[Woggle]

The problem is that the sensitive nice men usually tend to go after the kind of women that treat them like crap. Instead of finding a nice and sweet woman who will actually appreciate such a man they date what society often considers to be a strong woman. They usually go for hard kind of women who think showing kindness towards a man means she is weak and a stepford wife. My father himself says he made the same mistake with my mother and if he could do it all over again he would have picked somebody. If you feel being sweet and kind to your mate is beneath you stay single and do the opposite sex a favor.

 

These kind of women instead of appreciating men who are submissive to them are in some sick kind of game of chicken to see who can best dominate who and they only respect men who can overpower them. It's never ending drama and friction with them which strangely turns them on.

 

My advice is find a sweet and kind woman and don't be made to feel like a chauvinist pig for wanting that in a mate. IN return show sweetness and kindness in return for a woman that deserves it. If a woman thinks this is beneath her or makes her a doormat she is not wife or girlfriend material and I am talking about basic decency and not assigned gender roles.

[SJC2008]

OP you're wrong about women wanting dominant men. They want masculine men who appear dominant, but still want to wear the pants in the relationship. I don't know how old you are but as I've gotten older a lightbulb has gone off in my head and it's that in most relationships, the women wears the pants! I see it all the time, friends, family, and some IRL encounters. Yes there are women who want to follow a mans lead but they are hard to come by. In the western culture, pussy is idolized and men will do anything for it. Our culture created the monster if you will. Now I'm not saying that you can look dominant and be a whimp. Let her run the show but balk back every now and then to "remind" her that you're a man and have a spine and you'll be ok.

[SJC2008]

The problem is that the sensitive nice men usually tend to go after the kind of women that treat them like crap. Instead of finding a nice and sweet woman who will actually appreciate such a man they date what society often considers to be a strong woman. They usually go for hard kind of women who think showing kindness towards a man means she is weak and a stepford wife. My father himself says he made the same mistake with my mother and if he could do it all over again he would have picked somebody. If you feel being sweet and kind to your mate is beneath you stay single and do the opposite sex a favor.

 

These kind of women instead of appreciating men who are submissive to them are in some sick kind of game of chicken to see who can best dominate who and they only respect men who can overpower them. It's never ending drama and friction with them which strangely turns them on.

 

My advice is find a sweet and kind woman and don't be made to feel like a chauvinist pig for wanting that in a mate. IN return show sweetness and kindness in return for a woman that deserves it. If a woman thinks this is beneath her or makes her a doormat she is not wife or girlfriend material and I am talking about basic decency and not assigned gender roles.

 

Well said Woggs but I disagree with the overpower part. The women who are controlling have to be in control and have the power becuse that's how the fell safe in their world if you will. TBS like you said they will respect you for standing up to them because nature intended women to be the submissive one but they still have to have the power.

[Woggle]

Well said Woggs but I disagree with the overpower part. The women who are controlling have to be in control and have the power becuse that's how the fell safe in their world if you will. TBS like you said they will respect you for standing up to them because nature intended women to be the submissive one but they still have to have the power.

 

They might now want to be beaten and abused or anything like that but they are attracted to men who can't be tamed. They want to try and tame a man and they love him more when they can't and then they whine that men won't commit but fall out of love with men that do want to commit. If it sounds insane it is because it is which is why men need to find a woman who does not have this kind of thought process.

[SJC2008]

They might now want to be beaten and abused or anything like that but they are attracted to men who can't be tamed. They want to try and tame a man and they love him more when they can't and then they whine that men won't commit but fall out of love with men that do want to commit. If it sounds insane it is because it is which is why men need to find a woman who does not have this kind of thought process.

 

It is and it goes back to this:

 

The problem is that the sensitive nice men usually tend to go after the kind of women that treat them like crap. Instead of finding a nice and sweet woman who will actually appreciate such a man they date what society often considers to be a strong woman. They usually go for hard kind of women who think showing kindness towards a man means she is weak and a stepford wife. My father himself says he made the same mistake with my mother and if he could do it all over again he would have picked somebody. If you feel being sweet and kind to your mate is beneath you stay single and do the opposite sex a favor.

 

I am guilty of this and it is very dysfuncitonal. When I was about 26 I met a girl through mutual friends and she really like me. It would of been the perfect opportunity for me because she was shy too. We only met twice but she was really attracted to me and told my friend I was gorgeous lol. I started to pull away and made excuses and she called me out on it. Anyway, I rationalized it as not being too attracted to her but looking back it's because she validated me and wasn't controlling. So here I am years later wondering when I'm going to meet a nice girl like her who thinks the world of me, is sweet and has the back bone to call me out (everyone here knows I don't like passivness). Anyway, at least I'm aware of my problem now so going forward I think I have enough tools to spot a good woman. I wish I could of learned this at a younger age but I'm still somewhat young and some people never learn and won't look at themselves.

[strongnrelaxed]

One way to shed light on this is to observe other primates mating habits. There are a few variations, but ultimately there is a strong theme among most mammals - there are two types of males and one type of female.

 

 

In modern American society, there are now two types of men and two types of women. Women are more free than ever before to sleep around as men have. They can find fulfillment in work, career, and friends as men have. Men have sports and the military in which to bond and interact. Women have other social structures and more are emerging.

 

The biggest challenge it seems, is that too many people think they are one type when they are not. The flip side of this is that we also cannot always tell when the target of our affection is one type or the other. This is because people lie and hide their true intentions.

 

We even have terms for this like, "Be Polite" and "put your best foot forward" and "first impressions are lasting impressions" in other words, "be fake in the beginning"

 

There is nothing wrong with this when it comes to negotiating and social interactions and even in dating. The problem is that when you get into a LTR and find out ten years down the road that the person you are sleeping next to is not who they said they were is when the trouble starts.

 

So, know who and what you are and own that. You will certainly change over time, and own that too. Do not try to date out of your range or type and don't try so hard to impress anyone. If you are a quality human being you will impress them just by being yourself.

[runningfar]

One way to shed light on this is to observe other primates mating habits. There are a few variations, but ultimately there is a strong theme among most mammals - there are two types of males and one type of female.

 

 

In modern American society, there are now two types of men and two types of women. Women are more free than ever before to sleep around as men have. They can find fulfillment in work, career, and friends as men have. Men have sports and the military in which to bond and interact. Women have other social structures and more are emerging.

 

The biggest challenge it seems, is that too many people think they are one type when they are not. The flip side of this is that we also cannot always tell when the target of our affection is one type or the other. This is because people lie and hide their true intentions.

 

We even have terms for this like, "Be Polite" and "put your best foot forward" and "first impressions are lasting impressions" in other words, "be fake in the beginning"

 

There is nothing wrong with this when it comes to negotiating and social interactions and even in dating. The problem is that when you get into a LTR and find out ten years down the road that the person you are sleeping next to is not who they said they were is when the trouble starts.

 

So, know who and what you are and own that. You will certainly change over time, and own that too. Do not try to date out of your range or type and don't try so hard to impress anyone. If you are a quality human being you will impress them just by being yourself.

 

Let's observe. Shall we start with gelados, the most terrestrial nonhuman primate?

 

Or shall we start with bonobos, which show the most human like emotional interaction and reasoning?

 

[ChessPieceFace]

OP you're wrong about women wanting dominant men. They want masculine men who appear dominant, but still want to wear the pants in the relationship.

 

This is only because women are in complete confusion about what they want. You're right that they want to dominate men. Nevertheless, they still chase after alphas. If you try to apply too much logic to womens' actions, you'll go insane.

[theothersully]

This is only because women are in complete confusion about what they want. You're right that they want to dominate men. Nevertheless, they still chase after alphas. If you try to apply too much logic to womens' actions, you'll go insane.

 

This... there is no logic. It's an art.