iplaymybassinthesun Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 I've been on the wrong end of many of these. Friends that never keep in touch. Or there will be a burst of exciting communication, followed by another disappearance (this has happened with female friends). Over the past couple of yrs my social circle disintegrated and nobody came along to replace them. Relationships ended. People moved away. People develop personal problems. I've tried to stay in touch, but it isn't reciprocated. But also other things happened, like when my mom died and I was sole executor and all those stresses, I was depressed but my friends avoided me because they said I was acting 'weird'....meanwhile they had nothing but relationship drama and drug use to stress about. So I know some of those people werent worth it anyhow, but I'm left with acquaintances, no close friends and certainly no intimate relationships. I feel like an invisible man walking down the street or down the aisle of the supermarket or commuter campus. I live in my own head and it drives me nuts!:rolleyes:I can't get anything done. The mind takes over like a well intentioned but over protective parent.....aww helll!!! 2
d0nnivain Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 What are you doing to nurture your friendships? I have a lot of very good friends but as we've gotten older & have responsibilies it's not like when we were kids & could spend hours just doing nothing together. 2
Author iplaymybassinthesun Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 In truth, I'm not good at nurturing relationships with people. I don't know how. As an adult I've struggled financially. These days I can only afford to pay my bills. When I'm not working, I'm sitting home alone. I'm aware that as I wonder about people, they might be wondering about me. But it's a chicken or the egg. I just remember feeling abandoned long before I decide to abandon. 2
John-Dough Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 I live in my own head and it drives me nuts!:rolleyes:I can't get anything done. The mind takes over like a well intentioned but over protective parent.....aww helll!!! I hear you on this one. I have a bunch of friends that come to me for advice all the time. But, they aren't really interested in anything that isn't about them. Most people are self-absorbed. I do have a few that I could discuss MOST anything with. The keyword being MOST - that's why I'm here. 1
Author iplaymybassinthesun Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 I've also been told I'm a little closed off by nature with people I don't know. I don't mean to be. I actually love meeting people and spending time. But the mind.....I get lost in there. So I'll have things happen like friends saying, 'you know the first year or so we were friends I thought you hated me'...and I'm like 'huh??'...then I realize that at some point I must have suddenly turned to them and started laughing and joking in a way that caught them off guard.... 1
elbe Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Depression will crush your social life. You should try to get that in check although easier said than done. When I'm depressed I often don't reach out to anyone. I may not even respond to anyone's messages. They probably assume I'm a bad friend but it's just an unexplainable feeling of "I just can't talk right now...". 1
Author iplaymybassinthesun Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 I think depression is part of it. I become stuck in these anti-social routines that amount to little more than anxiety soothing. I bottle things up too. When you live alone its hard to tell what is healthy and unhealthy behavior. And if you have an overactive mind it soon starts to become your worst enemy. I've stayed in a lot of one sided friendships because of my scarcity mentality. Some moments have been almost cliche. I never get the chance to be open so when I try to force it I just make people awkward. 1
Sugarkane Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 I've also been told I'm a little closed off by nature with people I don't know. I don't mean to be. I actually love meeting people and spending time. But the mind.....I get lost in there. So I'll have things happen like friends saying, 'you know the first year or so we were friends I thought you hated me'...and I'm like 'huh??'...then I realize that at some point I must have suddenly turned to them and started laughing and joking in a way that caught them off guard.... I've been told this is what I'm like too. Probably because my fear of having one very manipulative person turn everyone against me. I've had this happen a couple of times. And at my old place of work, a girl and her clique took over. They always left me out. I was tired of trying with them.
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