panoramicview Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 My ex is home from school on thanksgiving break and contacted me saying he wanted to see me, then asked how I was doing. I was polite and told him how I was doing, but avoided the part about him wanting to see me....at first. My curiosity got the best of me and I decided I wanted to see where his head was at. Immediately he responded in a sexual nature. I flat out asked him if he planned to have sex with me, and he said he would like to. Still searching for an iota of love, I asked him if those were his only intentions and what he wanted from me. He said we could discuss that when we met. After a day or so my head became more clear. I knew I couldn't meet up with him because I would probably be weak enough to have sex with him. I then told him it wasn't a good idea that we met because I am not fully over him...he responded, "you are so unpredictable lol." That one text sent me off the deep end. I'm always baring my soul to him and he either says nothing or shrugs it off as unimportant. I then did something really stupid and asked him if he was ever in love with me. I don't know why I feel this need to know the "truth." The relationship was very unstable because he would always become distant and I would become clingy. I never got the sense that he truly cared about me and him asking for sex confirmed that...but that still wasn't good enough for me. Why is it so hard to let go of this?
d0nnivain Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 You did the right thing by avoiding him if you thought you'd give in to temptation. It's hard to get over because you liked him & part of you still wants the good parts of that relationship to become the relationship. Plus he sucks you back in. Two steps forward, one step back is still net progress. Hang in there.
Author panoramicview Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 Thanks. That makes me feel a lot better. I have re-blocked him on my phone so I won't have to bother seeing his response, if there is one. 1
Author panoramicview Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 Well I blocked him and unblocked about 5 times. The last time I unblocked him was a few minutes before he texted me a response...I must be psychic. Anyway, he said that he didn't know whether or not he ever loved me. In my mind, that's a big fat NO. So though it wasn't the answer that would have fed my depleted ego, it was the answer that I need to stop chasing and trying to hold onto something that I never had. I really haven't grieved the loss of our relationship because I've always had hope that I could change things...but today I finally got to start that process. 1
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