MrMeh Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 Is 21 too early start online dating. Always had a pessimistic attitude about it based on the aspect of how unreliable it might possibly be.
Under The Radar Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 I wonder if these friends say this out of honesty or jealousy? Honestly, does it matter? They should be able to make up their own mind. I have good friends with good taste, but I don't feel the need to ask them if I should meet someone for a cup of coffee. I'm an adult, and part of being an adult is thinking for yourself. Females that do this are little girls ...... not adult women; they should go back to grade school if they want to be childish. 1
nomadic_butterfly Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 Did I mention I met her OLD? But you can meet crazy people anywhere LOL. Online can be a hub but I mean you can meet decent people there. I met my first love online 10yrs ago at age 16. I will say though as OLD's popularity has increased, the quality of people and the experience has decreased. I am kinda in limbo about it but I might join a PAID interest site next year depending on how another situation I'm entertaining turns out in a few months. If neither situation works out though I am absolutely done and am ok with just being single until I meet someone in real life. I honestly can't be bothered. Lately online dating (after 1 1/2 yr dating via any medium hiatus) just made think less and less of it. I was on OKCupid and only lasted 2 weeks. I met like 2 guys on their and one was indecisive and a bit effeminate for my taste (although decent) and the other one was hot/cold indecisive with the GIGs. ::Sigh::
Author WP4046 Posted December 15, 2013 Author Posted December 15, 2013 But you can meet crazy people anywhere LOL. Online can be a hub but I mean you can meet decent people there. I met my first love online 10yrs ago at age 16. I will say though as OLD's popularity has increased, the quality of people and the experience has decreased. I am kinda in limbo about it but I might join a PAID interest site next year depending on how another situation I'm entertaining turns out in a few months. If neither situation works out though I am absolutely done and am ok with just being single until I meet someone in real life. I honestly can't be bothered. Lately online dating (after 1 1/2 yr dating via any medium hiatus) just made think less and less of it. I was on OKCupid and only lasted 2 weeks. I met like 2 guys on their and one was indecisive and a bit effeminate for my taste (although decent) and the other one was hot/cold indecisive with the GIGs. ::Sigh:: Yeah not sure why people think crazy people only exist online
Under The Radar Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 But you can meet crazy people anywhere LOL. Online can be a hub but I mean you can meet decent people there. I met my first love online 10yrs ago at age 16. I will say though as OLD's popularity has increased, the quality of people and the experience has decreased. I am kinda in limbo about it but I might join a PAID interest site next year depending on how another situation I'm entertaining turns out in a few months. If neither situation works out though I am absolutely done and am ok with just being single until I meet someone in real life. I honestly can't be bothered. Lately online dating (after 1 1/2 yr dating via any medium hiatus) just made think less and less of it. I was on OKCupid and only lasted 2 weeks. I met like 2 guys on their and one was indecisive and a bit effeminate for my taste (although decent) and the other one was hot/cold indecisive with the GIGs. ::Sigh:: I was being facetious . Yes, the girl WAS crazy, but I would never proclaim that OLD is the "bottom of the barrel" or only had dysfunctional types on there. I always think it's funny when people make those kind of blanket statements AND THEY are OLD. I mean, how hypocritical can you be? So, it's like that person is this AMAZING catch, but EVERYBODY ELSE is ****ed up? Obviously that isn't the case, but OLD is difficult and requires a bit of luck, patience, thick skin, and open mindedness.
nomadic_butterfly Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 I was being facetious . Yes, the girl WAS crazy, but I would never proclaim that OLD is the "bottom of the barrel" or only had dysfunctional types on there. I always think it's funny when people make those kind of blanket statements AND THEY are OLD. I mean, how hypocritical can you be? So, it's like that person is this AMAZING catch, but EVERYBODY ELSE is ****ed up? Obviously that isn't the case, but OLD is difficult and requires a bit of luck, patience, thick skin, and open mindedness. LOL ok..sometimes hard to tell virtually. But yea, LOL people who make blanket statements about anything are jaded and ignorant. A lot of my good friends now I met online and though we didn't work romantically, they were awesome people so we keep in touch! The luck of the draw I suppose...I'm quite optimistic though that regardless of the medium I will find love :-) just patience and staying true to who I am.
Zaphod B Posted December 15, 2013 Posted December 15, 2013 (edited) There are always gonna be idiots doing online dating who have no business being there. Just like their are idiots whereever you go. There is one dating site in New Zealand I was on which had become a kind of social site as well as a dating site and you had people going to the singles events just to hang out with their online friends they'd met in the chat rooms, with no intentions of trying to find a partner. Still, I have had tremendous success with online dating and would do it again in an instant if my current relationship ended (and I met her on a dating site). These people should definitely make it clear what they want and you'd expect them to say, in their profiles, they are only on their for friendships and chatting. If they are being misleading then you should be able to report them, surely? I would! Edited December 15, 2013 by Zaphod B
lino Posted December 16, 2013 Posted December 16, 2013 In response to the OP, this type of thing happens every second of every day off line too. Attention seeking women are very common, get used to dealing with this type of thing many more times in the future.
ZoeyCrimson Posted December 20, 2013 Posted December 20, 2013 This is really an awesome thread. Online dating is not a taboo subject anymore and people seem to take it more seriously than a few years ago. Cons are related includes, • You don't know if he or she is who they say they are • You run into creepers • They can lie about their life (they say they are a heart surgeon but they really work at a gas station) • You may not get to go on a real date for a while • You may not see them very often • You can't hug or kiss through a computer • You have to pay for a bunch of the websites • A bunch of people on there are weirdos Also while subscription sites cost money, they tend to attract people who are serious about dating. Also, subscription sites take pains to ensure that a user's privacy is maintained with various identity verification methods. Have a great day
Author WP4046 Posted December 21, 2013 Author Posted December 21, 2013 Online dating is something so unpredictable..if you are lucky' date=' you might get your love in first few attempt, else you have to enter in number game..besides, few women are really seeking for true and long-term relationship...its hard to find your partner if this is the case.[/quote'] Love and Online Dating shouldn't be in the same sentence 1
MissBee Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 (edited) I thought I met a nice girl online and we talked on the phone for a few weeks and then I suggested we meet up for a coffee date and she said "Well I don't think that is a good idea because I am kind of seeing someone" So I was like ok and we ended the convo and that was the end of that. But then I go back on OKC and see that she is still on the site checking messages when she is supposed to be dating somoene So I guess what I am trying to say is a new guy can see her profile today and and send her a message that is not sexual and not realize she is dating someone right now. So this proves that online dating should be for playful activities first and if it comes out to be something more serious then that's fine too. Never understood why women expect serious replies from men when the site has tons and tons of men and women. Basically a online dating site is like a online night club. And no one looks for a relationship inside of a club which is my point. While there are some things which are different online vs. out and about, what you're describing isn't unique to online. Read around the forum and look around at life. People meet men and women out and about, chat them up, exchange info, talk for a while, go out, some even begin a relationship and then find out the person is MARRIED or in a serious relationship. People who are cheaters or who aren't forthright exist on and offline and all you can do is be mindful of that and be keen about if what they're saying and doing makes sense and be upfront about what you want/expect and if their wants/expectations match with yours. I think that ALL dating should be a discovery phase. I think so many people approach dating as though they are courting this person or that it will definitely be a relationship so invest and expect way too much from someone who is essentially a stranger. With online or real life I am aware that I don't know this person well and I am discovering if I should invest more...therefore it is all casual for me in the beginning of seeing someone until I know enough about them and have spent enough time and discussed things enough to invest. So yes...with online or offline, don't dive head first. Expect that lots of the situations won't work out (just like real life) and be prepared to come across some bizarre people, liars, cheaters etc. I haven't online dated in about 4 years because I was just tired of that medium and felt that many men on there behaved in ways they wouldn't offline and many were creepy and also the process of clicking online but being disappointed in person frustrated me so I stopped altogether, but nevertheless it can work out for people if they have realistic expectations, and I did meet one boyfriend that way. Edited December 21, 2013 by MissBee 1
Robert Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 On topic posts please, address the thread starters concerns and not make this a gender war
jcrew11 Posted December 22, 2013 Posted December 22, 2013 She's probably seeing someone else via the dating site. Most people in online dating are exchanging and going on dates with several people. She obviously not engaged/married and is young and wants to keep her options open if someone else better comes along.
Author WP4046 Posted December 22, 2013 Author Posted December 22, 2013 She's probably seeing someone else via the dating site. Most people in online dating are exchanging and going on dates with several people. She obviously not engaged/married and is young and wants to keep her options open if someone else better comes along. I find it odd that women want men to take online dating seriously while they don't take it seriously lol
FitChick Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 the poor quality definitely outweighs the healthy options. It really is a numbers game and requires a lot of patience You could say the same about dating in real life.
soccerrprp Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Love and Online Dating shouldn't be in the same sentence More and more people are finding their SOs and spouses online. I am in a serious relationship with a woman I met online and there's love in the air for sure. There are women and men who use online dating for purposes other than finding a meaningful relationship. I have met some great ladies and as far as I know, they were looking for LTRs.
MissBee Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Online is simply a way to make it easier to meet people and to meet people who you know for sure are looking to date. However, online can't make them not crazy or guarantee you will definitely find "the one" or things will work out. All it does is provide a convenient space to meet people. It's like going to the mall but a mall where everyone is looking for some kind of relationship, be it casual, long term, serious, just sex etc. If you went to a mall with hundreds of people doing that and chatted some up you would expect that most of them would be a waste of your time, strange, liars, or you'd go out and it would be cool but still might not make it past that one date. Same thing with online. All it does is provide a pool of people...the quality of that pool and their fit with you is another story, but such is dating "out there" as well. Unless you perhaps hire a personal matchmaker who you're paying to screen very specific types of people and then gather you at a mixer with about 10 people who are pretty much almost spot-on on your list (and even still you may not actually have chemistry or it's all on paper but doesn't fit in real life), but that is probably the one way to increase your dating success and make it a lot less random. But online as well as meeting random people as you live your life will often be a grab bag of lots of misses and some hits. 1
FrankieFrank Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 Online dating isn't meant to work. It might accidentally work for some, but just like you can find love of your life in an online game, doesn't mean it was the main goal it was created for. It was created to make money for site founders. And actually, they will make more money if a customer comes back. And why would someone who found love of their life come back? You do the math.
what_a_blonde Posted December 25, 2013 Posted December 25, 2013 So... a guy I know who is emotionally unavailable and not into dating right now is on Match.com. I asked him about it, he said his friends signed him up, payed for it, helped him make a profile... so he could "meet new people". Ya, right, meet people who he only intends to have sex with. I will say I know of 3 close friends/couples who met online and are happily married now though.
Author WP4046 Posted December 25, 2013 Author Posted December 25, 2013 So... a guy I know who is emotionally unavailable and not into dating right now is on Match.com. I asked him about it, he said his friends signed him up, payed for it, helped him make a profile... so he could "meet new people". Ya, right, meet people who he only intends to have sex with. I will say I know of 3 close friends/couples who met online and are happily married now though. I still don't why marriage has to be connected to online dating. Why not relationship? So if I meet a nice girl and hit it off and we starting dating does that mean i have to get married in the next 2 years?
MissBee Posted December 26, 2013 Posted December 26, 2013 I still don't why marriage has to be connected to online dating. Why not relationship? So if I meet a nice girl and hit it off and we starting dating does that mean i have to get married in the next 2 years? Marriage isn't connected to online dating. It depends on what you want from your relationship and stage in life, for some people dating is about finding a suitable future spouse, not just dating for dating's sake. However, not everyone is looking for marriage but for people who are, then success is measured based on marriage.
Author WP4046 Posted December 26, 2013 Author Posted December 26, 2013 Marriage isn't connected to online dating. It depends on what you want from your relationship and stage in life, for some people dating is about finding a suitable future spouse, not just dating for dating's sake. However, not everyone is looking for marriage but for people who are, then success is measured based on marriage. everyone who said they had success always mentions they got married. Even that dumb commercial for eharmony used to promote engagement and marriage
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