WP4046 Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 I thought I met a nice girl online and we talked on the phone for a few weeks and then I suggested we meet up for a coffee date and she said "Well I don't think that is a good idea because I am kind of seeing someone" So I was like ok and we ended the convo and that was the end of that. But then I go back on OKC and see that she is still on the site checking messages when she is supposed to be dating somoene So I guess what I am trying to say is a new guy can see her profile today and and send her a message that is not sexual and not realize she is dating someone right now. So this proves that online dating should be for playful activities first and if it comes out to be something more serious then that's fine too. Never understood why women expect serious replies from men when the site has tons and tons of men and women. Basically a online dating site is like a online night club. And no one looks for a relationship inside of a club which is my point.
veggirl Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 lol wow. I'd have asked why the fk she is even talking to me then. 2
d0nnivain Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 While one bad apple can spoil the bunch, I think some people are genuine but given the nature of the comminity, I believe going in cautiously is the best bet 2
BlametheIrish Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 She probably said she was dating someone to let you down easier. Online dating is like regular dating, spmetimes you find someone worthwhole sometimes you don't. But I think.you're lucky, ypu found put what lind of person she was before even going on a real date. Of course I tend to look to.the positive side of things in matters of the heart. If I were you I'd ask out a woman earlier than two weeks to show genuine interest. Phone calls pale in comparison to a face to face meeting. Anyway I wish you luck in the future 8
nomadic_butterfly Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 I thought I met a nice girl online and we talked on the phone for a few weeks and then I suggested we meet up for a coffee date and she said "Well I don't think that is a good idea because I am kind of seeing someone" So I was like ok and we ended the convo and that was the end of that. But then I go back on OKC and see that she is still on the site checking messages when she is supposed to be dating somoene So I guess what I am trying to say is a new guy can see her profile today and and send her a message that is not sexual and not realize she is dating someone right now. So this proves that online dating should be for playful activities first and if it comes out to be something more serious then that's fine too. Never understood why women expect serious replies from men when the site has tons and tons of men and women. Basically a online dating site is like a online night club. And no one looks for a relationship inside of a club which is my point. Not always true. I met my first love online. He was wwaayyyy more into me than I was into him initially. We met in a chat room but back then (10 yrs ago) you would get side eyed if you met someone online and it was an embarrassment. I've gone to weddings where pple met online and one of my besties met his current gf that he is going to propose to online. She's awesome! When he met her he knew she was different. I think dating in general is tough and OLD though it is easier to zoom in on certain specifics from the get go but too many options lead to GIGs and someone would have to be serious about someone to really give it all up. What I don't like about the American dating culture in general (that most of the world doesn't get either) is the multi-dating. I will only take a guy seriously if he doesn't multi-date. To me, that means he is sure of himself, decisive, knows exactly what he wants as well as what he has to offer. It to me also means he is astute and is not a time waster so he can discern from a few dates whether or not it is going somewhere. I am the same way; I don't multi date, very self aware and by date 3 max I know if I want to go further. Sounds like you took too long to make a move and another man moved in. She just wasn't that into you and it sounds like she was just trying to let you down easy. Lots of people find relationships online. I myself am over the online scene but I rarely go out too so I guess I will have to accept my singleness until I decide I want to be more social. 4
BlametheIrish Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Oh "lovedoes not exist" you sound very depressed and bitter. Mabe if ypu channeled all that negative energy into working on yourself you wouldn't be so sad and negative. Or maybe someone just burned you really bad on OLD. Still no reason tp be so bitter. 3
Donnie Darko Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 OP you have to date a lot of pigs and swine to find your princess. It is a numbers game. Keep trying. 1
ThatMan Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 (edited) OP you have to date a lot of pigs and swine to find your princess. It is a numbers game. Keep trying. Children play games. Grown men do not. The thing about dating is that we put ourselves out there and make mistakes until we learn a better way of doing things. That's the mature and reasonable approach to dating. It's always good to question whether or not online dating is worth it and maybe try something else. The people you find within online dating have all made profiles for a reason. I promise that many of those reasons simply aren't healthy at all. If you don't like what you see then you are free to walk away. Edited November 30, 2013 by ThatMan 4
Author WP4046 Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 Not always true. I met my first love online. He was wwaayyyy more into me than I was into him initially. We met in a chat room but back then (10 yrs ago) you would get side eyed if you met someone online and it was an embarrassment. I've gone to weddings where pple met online and one of my besties met his current gf that he is going to propose to online. She's awesome! When he met her he knew she was different. I think dating in general is tough and OLD though it is easier to zoom in on certain specifics from the get go but too many options lead to GIGs and someone would have to be serious about someone to really give it all up. What I don't like about the American dating culture in general (that most of the world doesn't get either) is the multi-dating. I will only take a guy seriously if he doesn't multi-date. To me, that means he is sure of himself, decisive, knows exactly what he wants as well as what he has to offer. It to me also means he is astute and is not a time waster so he can discern from a few dates whether or not it is going somewhere. I am the same way; I don't multi date, very self aware and by date 3 max I know if I want to go further. Sounds like you took too long to make a move and another man moved in. She just wasn't that into you and it sounds like she was just trying to let you down easy. Lots of people find relationships online. I myself am over the online scene but I rarely go out too so I guess I will have to accept my singleness until I decide I want to be more social. I was shocked when she said she still wanted to be friends and talk to me on the phone. But you are right I took too long and you can't do that when a women is attractive no kids lives in a nice neighborhood Definitely my fault
Author WP4046 Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 Pure b.s. Many of us are single, highly introverted, and very shy. Pity away, but do not take a few losers/bad eggs as representative of the whole. I think what the poster is saying is since there are people online who are married or in a relationship, it's best that someone does not take it too seriously
nomadic_butterfly Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 I was shocked when she said she still wanted to be friends and talk to me on the phone. But you are right I took too long and you can't do that when a women is attractive no kids lives in a nice neighborhood Definitely my fault But the good news is that she isn't the first and last decent girl you can encounter. You just have to move on and be positive. Most people who have had more than one relationship can relate to the initial pain of a breakup when they and their partner seemed so good together, thinking no way they'd find someone with even more common and be able to love again. Then they find the next person and so on. Don't let one girl you weren't even in a relationship with crush your spirits like this; take it as a lesson learned and on to the next one dude. 1
Author WP4046 Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 But the good news is that she isn't the first and last decent girl you can encounter. You just have to move on and be positive. Anyone who has had more than one relationship can relate to the initial pain of a breakup when they and their partner seemed so good together, thinking no way they'd find someone with even more common and be able to love again. Then they find the next person and so on. Don't let one girl you weren't even in a relationship with crush your spirits like this; take it as a lesson learned and on to the next one dude. As don rickles would say......."i wanted her soooo bad" LMAO But yes I agree with you I have to move on and meet someone else on her level 1
BillJJ Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Considering a large percentage of the internet has trolls, hackers, cyber bullies, cyber stalkers and all other types of weirdos on it why would you bother using a dating site? Take it from a former Admin of a forum for a Music Channel there is no way in hell I would try it. Try going out and meeting people.
MrTurk Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 lol wow. I'd have asked why the fk she is even talking to me then. I've done that…, At that point it doesn't matter what happens so I will be totally upfront and ask them directly why this or why that.... But of course I'm always the one in the wrong, or I'm the one that is the ******* for asking such a question. I think a lot of people just expect everybody else to go along with the wishy-washy environment of online dating… And when somebody truthful comes along, someone holds people accountable, they get banished because nobody wants to put up with that kind of honesty. After a certain amount of time on dating sites, I actually spent my time calling women out on their actions and had no expectations of finding a date. 3
MrTurk Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Online dating sites are not just for fun. Never know where the destiny might lead you… It may get you a good partner. True… There are people that have success with it, especially if you're in a good geographical location. But I have talked to many many women on dating sites, especially when they're not close enough to me to date… They will open up more and be more honest. And many of them have admitted that they use it pretty much for entertainment, to pass the time, and don't really take it seriously.
deathandtaxes Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 (edited) I was shocked when she said she still wanted to be friends and talk to me on the phone. But you are right I took too long and you can't do that when a women is attractive no kids lives in a nice neighborhood Definitely my fault Please don't be friends. You'll be her ego boost. Why be friends with somebody when you want to date them? But I think her saying that is just to be nice. The whole seeing somebody is just being nice. Let her go. Happens all the time. I was talking to this lady on match recently. Then started texting. And we set up a first date. The night before she texts to cancel saying she met somebody. And yet I see her active on the site later. She probably thought better of it. Her prerogative. And she was cute. No kids. What a shame Edited December 11, 2013 by deathandtaxes
MrTurk Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 The night before she texts to cancel saying she met somebody. And yet I see her active on the site later. She probably thought better of it. Her prerogative. And she was cute. No kids. What a shame I've had that happen many times myself… They cancel either the day before or the day of. And they tell me that they met someone, or some other stupid story. Yet they remain active on the dating site… So we all know it's bull****. I even tell them it's bull**** before the evidence comes out, and later on the evidence always proves that I'm correct. I seriously think many of the women that do that, show the guys picture to their friends or someone else… And the friends probably say oh he's okay looking or you could do better than that… Which in turn causes the woman to cancel. 1
okc85 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 I've never had luck with online dating. I thought I finally met someone great. She told me how much she liked me, and pushed me to be open about my feelings. And when I was open about them, she pushed me away and told me her gut was telling her we weren't compatible. And of course, I am a sad puppy and sitting here wondering why I can't seem to ever find anyone. I should give up on online dating.
Zeroes Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 Considering a large percentage of the internet has trolls, hackers, cyber bullies, cyber stalkers and all other types of weirdos on it why would you bother using a dating site? Take it from a former Admin of a forum for a Music Channel there is no way in hell I would try it. And an even larger percentage of the internet are normal, every day people not are not trolls, hackers, bullies, stalkers and other weirdos. Honestly, it's not difficult to sift through the trash on dating sites which fit that bill. Ignoring and blocking works wonders, and you're not supposed to provide too much personal information about yourself that would enable someone to stalk or hack you. Try going out and meeting people. Which is what online daters are trying to do. Dating sites are just a tool for meeting people and they're handy for people who don't go out as much or don't have much of an opportunity to meet people outside of their social circle.
Philosopher Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 In my experience, you cannot really tell that much about the person behind the profile from what they have written online. The preconceptions you have about them from the profile is often wrong. The result is a string of disappointing dates with little or no chemistry. I have even been on one date where the girl was a completely different person from the profile. She had decided to message me while pretending to be her friend, whom had originally set up the profile, largely as a joke. 1
deathandtaxes Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 I seriously think many of the women that do that, show the guys picture to their friends or someone else… And the friends probably say oh he's okay looking or you could do better than that… Which in turn causes the woman to cancel. Lol. I may not be the best-looking guy, and that might happen to me! So superficial, but hey, maybe they saved me some trouble. They could be CRAZY!!
Phantom888 Posted December 11, 2013 Posted December 11, 2013 It's true that in the world of online dating, you have to assume the woman is talking to other men while talking to you. But that doesn't mean she is dating or sleeping with other men while talking to you. It all depends on the individuals. Women would want to get to know you better before becoming exclusive with you, so they can go out and have dinner with various guys until they meet someone they want to date exclusively. I totally respect that. However, if a woman hides the fact that she is sleeping with multiple men, then that is just bad and trashy. 1
emva07 Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 i think there are good experiences and bad experiences. Also, in free websites like OKC, Tinder, POF, the rate of BS is higher than say paid websites. I recommend for those that are looking for something serious to maybe go on match.com or eharmony. I know of relationships that have worked from the former apps but there will be a lot of bad apples. I've only tried Tinder, lots of guys just match with me then never talk to me, or if they do the conversations just fizzles after a few days, one guy we set up a date and he never showed up, and finally when I finally DID meet up with a guy, he was great, even if it doesn't lead to anything it was a nice date.
NoMoreJerks Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 It's not just women who do this. Men do this too. It's despicable behaviour, to be honest. This is why I hate multi-dating and multi-daters. I had a guy do this to me, engage in email conversations with me, met up once, gave me handshake, then told me he wasn't ready for a relationship but wants to be my friend "and maybe more in the future".. then when I said I knew it was BS and that I wasn't looking for friends, he told me he was seeing someone else.. I f*cking flipped on him , because if you were seeing someone to the point of just sending me off with a handshake (and making my life miserable throughout the 'date', by sabotaging it constantly with bizarre behaviors), why even waste my time? I gave him a piece of my mind. 1
nomadic_butterfly Posted December 12, 2013 Posted December 12, 2013 In my experience, you cannot really tell that much about the person behind the profile from what they have written online. The preconceptions you have about them from the profile is often wrong. The result is a string of disappointing dates with little or no chemistry. I have even been on one date where the girl was a completely different person from the profile. She had decided to message me while pretending to be her friend, whom had originally set up the profile, largely as a joke. You are right! A profile has it's limitations. That's why I like to have at least two lengthy phone and Skype convos to feel a guy out before meeting in person. I have eliminated PLENTY through this method. I also think the biggest time wasters are those on the free sites; they have nothing to lose and not much invested. However if you just want to hook up, free sites suffice but if you want something of substance, a paid site is somewhat better. The only catch there is that some of them will keep on deactivated profiles and you write them then get no reply thinking you have been rejected. Thanks Eharmony!!
Recommended Posts