mysteriouschic Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Hey so I met up with this guy I've been speaking to for 2months. He gave me a handshake when we met. He's 27 I'm 20. We planned on going ice skating we met up in this shopping centre. He said he was nervous about ice skating we walked over to the ice rink to watch it for a while , he wasn't sure about it. I persuaded him to go but when we went the next session wasn't for another 2 hours so we left it and he joked about how he was lucky he didn't have to skate. When we met at the start he'd told me he had to see his mate after as his girlfriend had just broken up with him.. We walked around was gonna get food but decided to get coffee. We paid for ourselves walked around the town a bit talking and he said we'd walk down towards his car . We were near his car and he said he's gonna head off an see his mate the one who'd girlfriend just broke up with him . He gave me a handshake and said it was nice meeting you keep in touch or he might have say I'll keep in touch . I just said yeah it was nice and said bye. I don't know if that was good or not? What should I do next? I don't know if he's interested or not since we didn't kiss we talked a lot an got on okay but I have no clue how it went. Intitially before we met up he'd asked me out a few times but I was busy the times he asked. I asked him out for this one as he said he wanted to try ice skating even though he was worried about. I can't tell if he was interested or not. I know when we spoke online he wasn't that forward when asking me out it was more casual.
BlametheIrish Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 It seems he's not interested. I can't say that I've ever ended a date with a handshake. It seems so platonic for lake of better words. But you can call or text him and if he wont make definite plans then you've got your answer. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Sounds lukewarm at best. He didn't necessarily need to kiss you or anything like that, but a handshake? It seems rather platonic. My guess is that perhaps he didn't feel a spark. How did you feel? Do you want to see him again?
Author mysteriouschic Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 We talked a lot I'm bad at showing interest I may have gave off the wrong vibe. Should I text him or leave it a few days? What would I say? should I joke about the ice skating thing?
RedRobin Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Hey so I met up with this guy I've been speaking to for 2months. He gave me a handshake when we met. He's 27 I'm 20. We planned on going ice skating we met up in this shopping centre. He said he was nervous about ice skating we walked over to the ice rink to watch it for a while , he wasn't sure about it. I persuaded him to go but when we went the next session wasn't for another 2 hours so we left it and he joked about how he was lucky he didn't have to skate. When we met at the start he'd told me he had to see his mate after as his girlfriend had just broken up with him.. We walked around was gonna get food but decided to get coffee. We paid for ourselves walked around the town a bit talking and he said we'd walk down towards his car . We were near his car and he said he's gonna head off an see his mate the one who'd girlfriend just broke up with him . He gave me a handshake and said it was nice meeting you keep in touch or he might have say I'll keep in touch . I just said yeah it was nice and said bye. I don't know if that was good or not? What should I do next? I don't know if he's interested or not since we didn't kiss we talked a lot an got on okay but I have no clue how it went. Intitially before we met up he'd asked me out a few times but I was busy the times he asked. I asked him out for this one as he said he wanted to try ice skating even though he was worried about. I can't tell if he was interested or not. I know when we spoke online he wasn't that forward when asking me out it was more casual. It doesn't mean anything. You hardly know him. If he tried to kiss you or dive down your shorts on the first meeting, it wouldn't necessarily mean he's interested in you either. It just means he wanted to kiss you or get some. No biggie. How about you just get to know the guy and cool it? Besides, he's seven years older than you. Maybe he's just trying to be polite and not come off as a guy who is just interested in a piece of *ss (even if he is... again, you hardly know the guy). I'm a lot older than you, and I'm totally fine... heck, I even prefer a guy doesn't get real physical early on while we are getting to know each other. 3
elbe Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 He kind of sounds like a wuss - and if that's the case he wouldn't have the gull to kiss you. He might have got in his car and shook his head thinking what the hell did I just do.. a handshake? However, it sounds like he wasn't that into you. I would never leave a date to hang with a friend. It sounds like that was just an excuse to end the date early. A handshake is so strange.. did he pay you to go on the date? (jk)
Under The Radar Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 RedRobin is right. I'm a guy and I've ended first dates before with a handshake. I was not interested in kissing or "hooking" up with a girl so early in the process. I was just having fun and being polite. There is no way to know what he is thinking or if he wants a second date. If he's interested he'll contact you.
Author mysteriouschic Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 He'd said his friend got back from Germany and his girlfriend had broken up with him and he had to check that he was okay. He said this a few times. No he didn't pay for me I didn't mind as I actually don't mind paying for myself. I mean like he spoke a lot to me asked many questions. It was our first meet and we hadn't had any physical contact. I don't know if he was nervous. Also I'm not sure if I came across as interested might have kept my distance at times. I think I could've sent mixed signals. He doesn't seem too much like a forward guy . Before our meet he asked me by saying. "Have you ever been ice skating?" I replied back . He said "No but I've never been maybe we could do that if you decide to meet?" I just said yeah we could might be fun" an that was it. We spoke a little but I didn't realise this came across as not interested so I asked him out. He did seem a bit nervous or because he'd older he doesn't know what to do.
AnyaNova Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Hey so I met up with this guy I've been speaking to for 2months. He gave me a handshake when we met. He's 27 I'm 20. We planned on going ice skating we met up in this shopping centre. He said he was nervous about ice skating we walked over to the ice rink to watch it for a while , he wasn't sure about it. I persuaded him to go but when we went the next session wasn't for another 2 hours so we left it and he joked about how he was lucky he didn't have to skate. When we met at the start he'd told me he had to see his mate after as his girlfriend had just broken up with him.. We walked around was gonna get food but decided to get coffee. We paid for ourselves walked around the town a bit talking and he said we'd walk down towards his car . We were near his car and he said he's gonna head off an see his mate the one who'd girlfriend just broke up with him . He gave me a handshake and said it was nice meeting you keep in touch or he might have say I'll keep in touch . I just said yeah it was nice and said bye. I don't know if that was good or not? What should I do next? I don't know if he's interested or not since we didn't kiss we talked a lot an got on okay but I have no clue how it went. Intitially before we met up he'd asked me out a few times but I was busy the times he asked. I asked him out for this one as he said he wanted to try ice skating even though he was worried about. I can't tell if he was interested or not. I know when we spoke online he wasn't that forward when asking me out it was more casual. Because I and the men I tend to date tend to view physical contact in an extremely high regard, I have been on dates where we did not end with a kiss because neither of us were ready for that, but those always ended with a hug at least.
Author mysteriouschic Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 Sounds lukewarm at best. He didn't necessarily need to kiss you or anything like that, but a handshake? It seems rather platonic. My guess is that perhaps he didn't feel a spark. How did you feel? Do you want to see him again? We got on good we chatted, I was a little nervous so maybe occasionally I seemed distant. it kind of felt like we were both nervous. I don't know if maybe thats why he didn't want to skate because he was nervous about falling in front of me? It'd be nice to see him just to see how we are.
Donnie Darko Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 When I was not interested in a girl, I either give a handshake or nothing and say it was nice getting to know you and then I say good luck. I've always been amazed that women could not take that hint and that they would still chase or pursue me when I clearly was not interested. 1
Author mysteriouschic Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 It's weird he said keep in touch? or I'll keep in touch? I mean we hadn't really broken our physical boundaries and I may have acted not interested. Should I text him? what should I say?
nomadic_butterfly Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 It's weird he said keep in touch? or I'll keep in touch? I mean we hadn't really broken our physical boundaries and I may have acted not interested. Should I text him? what should I say? Move on, date others. If he is interested, he knows exactly how/where to find you. Don't be so overly available; he will not respect you and treat you as if you are a backup plan/at his disposal. You need to have a spine and standards. Since HE made it unclear then HE needs to take initiative if he wants to see you again. A handshake is usually reserved for business or in the beginning of meeting the first time, not the end! Way too formal. 2
Author mysteriouschic Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 Or could I send this "I had a nice time, we should do it again maybe try out ice skating next time if you're not too nervous?" Or just leave it as" I had a nice time, we should do it again maybe try out ice skating next time" Maybe add in (hope your friend was okay) Or is that bad? or give it a few days before sending it?
Author mysteriouschic Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 It doesn't mean anything. You hardly know him. If he tried to kiss you or dive down your shorts on the first meeting, it wouldn't necessarily mean he's interested in you either. It just means he wanted to kiss you or get some. No biggie. How about you just get to know the guy and cool it? Besides, he's seven years older than you. Maybe he's just trying to be polite and not come off as a guy who is just interested in a piece of *ss (even if he is... again, you hardly know the guy). I'm a lot older than you, and I'm totally fine... heck, I even prefer a guy doesn't get real physical early on while we are getting to know each other. Should I text him or wait for him to text me? he's always been a bit passive when initiating meets.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Or could I send this "I had a nice time, we should do it again maybe try out ice skating next time if you're not too nervous?" Or just leave it as" I had a nice time, we should do it again maybe try out ice skating next time" Maybe add in (hope your friend was okay) Or is that bad? or give it a few days before sending it? Girlfriend. NO. He knows how to contact you. If he wants to, he will. 3
RedRobin Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Should I text him or wait for him to text me? he's always been a bit passive when initiating meets. Depends... do you prefer being the one to initiate most of the time? Then go ahead and contact him. Do you prefer he initiates more? Then wait.... oh, and stop the texting. I friggin' hate texting. Call him if you want to see him again. You'll get your answer then for sure. Me? I have no problems initiating, but need steady reciprocation in order to continue. It's up to you what kind of dynamic you prefer. 1
Author mysteriouschic Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 It's kind of mixed I like both initiating and waiting. I'm gonna leave it and text him on Monday saying this "I had a nice time on Saturday, we should meet up again - I hope your friend was okay?" Is that message good? I just have a funny feeling maybe he was unsure if I was interested or not..I didn't really say too much when leaving either. I just said "yeah it was nice"
Author mysteriouschic Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 I don't think I have the best body language signals sometimes I keep my distance a little and try not to get too close even if I like the person. So I don't know if he was picking up on those signals.
Author mysteriouschic Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 RedRobin is right. I'm a guy and I've ended first dates before with a handshake. I was not interested in kissing or "hooking" up with a girl so early in the process. I was just having fun and being polite. There is no way to know what he is thinking or if he wants a second date. If he's interested he'll contact you. Did you see any of the girls you gave the handshake to again?
Under The Radar Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 Did you see any of the girls you gave the handshake to again? Yes, but I reached out to them for a second date. I truly believe that if he's interested he'll contact you. 2
MalachiX Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 I can't imagine giving a handshake to a girl I'm interested in. If she seems shy or we're moving slowly, I might not kiss but I'll always at least hug. 2
ChessPieceFace Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 Obviously I'm not sure, but my gut says that the "his mate's gf broke up with him" story was a made-up excuse which he had all prepared in advance in case he needed it to shorten the date, and the handshake rather than at least a hug further shows that he wasn't interested. 1
scorpiogirl Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 Why are you insisting you didn't show him enough interest? Seriously! The guy gave you a handshake at the end of your date. If you want to chase someone who's lukewarm about you then please send the text. And please get comfortable initiating all future contact. If he likes you he will call you. If it is the case that he's waiting for you, he's not the type of man I'd want anyway. Do you prefer men who want you to do everything? 3
ExpatInItaly Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 Obviously I'm not sure, but my gut says that the "his mate's gf broke up with him" story was a made-up excuse which he had all prepared in advance in case he needed it to shorten the date, and the handshake rather than at least a hug further shows that he wasn't interested. I wondered that too.
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