FairyTail Posted January 4, 2005 Posted January 4, 2005 My advice would be...just be yourself. Don't think of anything else -- act as if everything is o.k. and let yourself shine through. If he sees that in you and wants you back, then it is meant to be. And if you're the best you that you can be and it's not good enough for him, then he isn't good enough for you. That's my opinion, anyway.
Author lulu1 Posted January 6, 2005 Author Posted January 6, 2005 (A chance to be in a relationship is out of the question (for now) anyways). that is what he e mailed me. I stoped by his house today just to say hi. He was very nice. I did not stay long, so i emailed him and asked him if i had a chance to make it work he also said " As far as unfolding, let GOD decide -it is not my intention to be in a relationship. Who knows what my happen. > i dont know what to make of it? does it sound like he wants to take it slow, or what?? pls help
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 6, 2005 Posted January 6, 2005 He told you in no uncertain terms that he is not interested in having a relationship with you right now. That doesn't mean he wants to take it slow. It means that he is telling you that he doesn't want a relationship with you. I'm guessing he is putting the 'not right now' in there to keep from crushing you like a bug. I'm sure he cares for you on some level and doesn't want to hurt you, so he is making it as painless as he can. Twice in your post you said that he told you he wasn't interested in being in a relationship with you. Twice. This doesn't mean 'take it slow' it mean 'no relationship'. If you want to hang around and let him mess with you occasionally if you happen to be around and he's not too busy and call that "taking it slow" - then by all means, go ahead - but you are setting yourself up for some big time heartbreak again with him.
allisfair Posted January 7, 2005 Posted January 7, 2005 I see it like this...you guys broke up in the first place because of your "issues",didn't mean he didn't wish you could have made it.He loved (perhaps loves)you and by trying again ( but in a different way) I think he thought things might be different this time ( aka YOU might be different) but they (nor you) are any different,you still got the "issues" and he's seeing that and knows it will never work out long term...that's jmho.Learn to love yourself,be happy on your own,you just gotta. If you want to make things work with this particular man,you have GOT to back up and start all over.Stop appearing so needy and clingy and show him ( and more importantly yourself) you are a strong,healthy,independent person .
Devildog Posted January 7, 2005 Posted January 7, 2005 Ahh, so the all powerful admins consolidated a bunch of threads into one. For a minute I thought I was caught in the "Groundhog Day" thread or something.
Author lulu1 Posted January 13, 2005 Author Posted January 13, 2005 My ex and i decided we are going to try and work on it. He says he want's to "date" still with no strings attaced. He said he is not going to date other women. He says that's not him. He dont date more than one girl at a time. we went out on New years day, but everything was closed so we just rented a couple of dvd's and sat at my place. we did end up having sex. Last weekend he came over at 3 am. he broght me so food and spent the night. We did end up in the sack together. We both felt werried about it. He says he wants to start right from the being and date. GO out of the house. He sont want me over at his place and he is not comming to mine. He says he dont want to start out again by having sex. He also said he is not looking for a relationship, but he says if it happens there is no stopping it. I just hope it works out. We are going to go out this weekend. I am so confused.
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 Originally posted by lulu1 He also said he is not looking for a relationship, but he says if it happens there is no stopping it. This means he intends to keep seeing you, having sex with you if the opportunity presents itself but will not be your boyfriend. That is something you will have to accept if you want to stay with him. Your relationship will have to be entirely on his terms, or not at all it sounds like.
Author lulu1 Posted January 15, 2005 Author Posted January 15, 2005 he said we are going to start dating right. we are not going to jump in the bed together. so no sex. we are not going to come to my house or i am not going to come to his place, so we advoid the temptaion. He said he wants to start right from the beging and do it right this time.
ziggue Posted January 15, 2005 Posted January 15, 2005 It sounds like he isn't sure what he wants at the moment. He still has feelings for you but he wants to move on at the same time. Right now it seems like you are winning him over at the moment. Luckily. Good for you! Hopefully he doesn't change his mind in a couple of months again and things work out for you guys. .
Author lulu1 Posted January 16, 2005 Author Posted January 16, 2005 went out last night with my ex. he came over and picked me up at 630. We drove over to Chilis but the place was packed. the line was out the door so we decided not to wait. So we went over to this other resturant/ bar. we got there and each a a couple of beers. we sat up and the bar and we talked and talked. we got an appatizer and shared it. i told him that i dont eat a lot so it would be a wast of money for me to get my own. we stayed there for about 1 hr. after that we went to the bowling ally and played a couple of games. it was really fun, even thought he kick my butt. we were sitting there after we were done bowling and he grabed my head and started to kiss me. i did not pull back. It was a shock and very nice. we left the ally and we drove around for a while, he finally pulled into my appartment and we were making out in the car. We both wanted to join each other in the bed, it was very obvous. I told him i really want to have sex, but we cant, we are starting over. so we drove a little more and he brought me home. I asked him if he was upset that we did not have sex and he said, no i am happy that we dident. I told him think how much better it will be when we make love insted of having sex. and he smiled. He said thank you vry much for going out with me and i said thank you for taking me out. He said we can do this again, and i said absoultly. We kissed good night and i went in and he left. we are tying really hard to start over and do thing right. I hope it works out.
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