Ieatblunts Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 (edited) This is my first post. Hopefully it'll be cathartic and put some things into perspective. I dated my ex for 4 months. We had a huge age difference. She is 20 and I am 30. We both have kids. It made sense to me. Logically I knew better and was sure to ask and bring up our places in life. She assured me that she was looking to settle down and do the family thing being that she was a mother. Things were great. However I did catch her talking via text to other men. I was patient because no real lines seemed to be crossed and I cared for her. Last month she broke it off abruptly. She cited family for the separation. This last month I've tried no contact and failed. She opened up to me about her father issues. About the many men she had slept with before me. He father didn't touch her but he didn't love her. She had a rough upbringing and I can clearly see the damage that has been done. Ive had a hard time letting go. We had it out on the phone a week ago. She said she's a fake and a liar and how she hates herself, and family. She's never said that she doesn't want to be with me, just that she can't. I want to help her, and she's told me things that she's never told anyone else. After my no contact for 5 days she texted me. I texted her back 3 days later. She's cold and distant. She has said she is trying t push me away. That nothing is good. She is addicted to misery. I see the light in this girl. She's got a heart of gold. I feel foolish.. Edited December 1, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
elbe Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 She's both 20 and has emotional problems. That's quite the combination for a 30 year old man with a family of his own. She needs time to sort out these issues and also time to grow up. I'm 26 and I still have no idea what I want out of life. It would be tough for this to actually play out the way you wanted it to in this day and age. Focus on your own family for a while and get your priorities straight. It might do well for you to find someone closer to your age if what you want is a long term romance/family.
Author Ieatblunts Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 She's both 20 and has emotional problems. That's quite the combination for a 30 year old man with a family of his own. She needs time to sort out these issues and also time to grow up. I'm 26 and I still have no idea what I want out of life. It would be tough for this to actually play out the way you wanted it to in this day and age. Focus on your own family for a while and get your priorities straight. It might do well for you to find someone closer to your age if what you want is a long term romance/family. Thanks. I know how this goes and I am focusing on myself and son. I don't want to abandon her like the other men in her life. I truly believe that she's opened up to me in a way that she never had. I can't get her smile and zest for life out of my head. Also I would like to help heal her the way she healed me. Silly, I know.
organizedchaos Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Thanks. I know how this goes and I am focusing on myself and son. I don't want to abandon her like the other men in her life. I truly believe that she's opened up to me in a way that she never had. I can't get her smile and zest for life out of my head. Also I would like to help heal her the way she healed me. Silly, I know. You're in for nothing but a world of heartbreak with this girl. Decide for yourself what you want. 2
Author Ieatblunts Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 (edited) You're in for nothing but a world of heartbreak with this girl. Decide for yourself what you want. I want to let her go. I also want her to love herself and progress. I'm left not knowing if what we had was real to her or if it was just another thing for her. This is why I stopped talking to her. I told her I would leave her alone. 5 days later she contacts me. Am I just an other daddy fix? Why tell me anything of she wasn't atleast reaching out? Edited November 30, 2013 by Ieatblunts
Author Ieatblunts Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 Just a bit of background. We're 10 years apart in age. She and I both have sons. We dates for 4 months, during that time I caught her giving and receiving other guys numbers. It wasn't until she left me that she confided her past. Men, daddy issues, ect. During this break up she's told me that she hates herself, her lies, and that nothing is good. She has the worst self image. It's been one week since our last talk. I had tried no contact and she texted me. She had asked me to leave her alone. I took the bait and went a little crazy trying to get anything out of her. It ended with me apologizing for acting immature and crazy. She makes me crazy. I can't get her out of my head. Part of me believes that she is reaching out. Maybe it's just an other kick for her. She said she's confused. I've never had a girl do this to me. I'm usually detached and calm. What's a man to do? She said she can't be the problem I'm always trying to fix. It'd be easier if we didn't get along or had great times. It was out of no where.
Author Ieatblunts Posted December 4, 2013 Author Posted December 4, 2013 (edited) Just a bit of background. We're 10 years apart in age. She and I both have sons. We dated for 4 months, during that time I caught her giving and receiving other guys numbers. It wasn't until she left me that she confided her past. Men, daddy issues, ect. During this break up she's told me that she hates herself, her lies, and that nothing is good. She has the worst self image. It's been one week since our last talk. I had tried no contact and she texted me. She had asked me to leave her alone. I took the bait and went a little crazy trying to get anything out of her. It ended with me apologizing for acting immature and crazy. She makes me crazy. I can't get her out of my head. Part of me believes that she is reaching out. Maybe it's just an other kick for her. She said she's confused. I've never had a girl do this to me. I'm usually detached and calm. What's a man to do? She said she can't be the problem I'm always trying to fix. It'd be easier if we didn't get along or didn't have great times. It was out of no where. Edited December 4, 2013 by Ieatblunts
Philosoraptor Posted December 4, 2013 Posted December 4, 2013 Regardless whether or not she is reaching out... she is not stable and not someone who is going to provide positivitey to your life. 2
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