MalachiX Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 If the guys are right, he might have cooled because I was not showing enough initiative. If some of the ladies are right, he simply lost interest, mostly because I am a pathetic loser and stage 5 clinger. First of all, don't call yourself a loser Lots of us deal with self esteem issues but they're never good for relationships. The more you have faith that you're a worthwhile person who is worthy of others, the smarter decisions you'll make in future relationships (sorry to sound like a self-help book here). Second of all, maybe when asking a question about guys you may want to listen to the guys. It's kinda like if one someone made a post called "why is my girlfriend mad at me?" and all the women answered "because you forgot your anniversary" but all the guys said, "don't worry, she's just on her period." I'm not saying we there's some kind of male collective where we all know how each other thinks but I think one of the problems many women have with dating is that they often don't get real male input or see things from the guy's perspective. Just a thought. Either way, I don't feel like a facebook message after over a week of silence would go over that well. If he was upset because I did not contact him earlier, he might think it is too late, if he lost interest or thought I was clingy, a facebook message is not going to improve things. Do you understand why I think it might be past the point of resolution? I understand, but frankly think you just don't want to risk being rejected. I get that. Really. It sucks to have someone tell you they're not interested. In many ways, it hurts a lot less than to just have people fade out so there's enough ambiguity that you don't feel as bad. The problem is that you might miss out on something real. I hate to bring up the male/female thing again (as I swear I try to be a good feminist ), but it's something I, and a lot of guys, deal with a lot. We keep putting ourselves out there for people we're not even sure we WANT to be with in the long term. We have to do the initiating and risk rejection each step of the way even though we're not sure if we really click with this person. We do this just so we can spend enough time with a woman to get to know if she's right for us. We risk rejection just on the chance the other person might be someone who makes us happy. I think that learning to put yourself out there actually takes a lot of confidence and I think that good men are attracted to women with confidence (and D-bags are usually attracted to women with low self esteem who they can manipulate). I don't know if you're dude moved on but I do know that the ONLY thing you have to lose by messaging him is your pride. If he blows you off then that's life. You feel the sting of rejection and move on. If he doesn't then maybe you have something. It's up to you. I'll tell you one last thing as a guy: If I was interested in a girl but started to give up because she seemed less into me; I'd actually be very happy if she messaged me after a week of not hearing form her (especially with some explanation for the lack of contact). Maybe I'm just a push-over but I like to know someone's still interested in me, even if they had trouble showing it before.
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