Ryman Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 (edited) The reason I'm asking this is I've failed in the dating game 4 times in a row now.. takes a toll.. lol Theres this girl I've gone out with twice, I know she considered them dates because a mutual friend said he asked her and that's what she called it. Our first date went great we just sat in my car at the beach(it was raining) and talked and had a good time, I was getting strong vibes she was feeling me, at one key romantic point her tone of voice got noticable softer and cute and when I suggested going home, she said she's having a good time and would rather stay for a little longer. Good first date. The second was good as well but not as good as the first, but we ended the night getting milkshakes and just talking again, and again she wanted to prolong the night. I wear my glasses while driving only and hate them and she was trying to tell me theyre a good look and unsuccessfully pleaded with me to wear them inside the diner lol. Also I know girls dont normally like guys they dont like touching their face, so I tested this by getting a hair off her cheek and rubbing a mosquito bite on her forehead she was self-conscious about and all I got was a playful "dont touch iiit" and she didnt move. The part I'm slow on is things like texting, where she could take 15 mins-1 hour usually to respond, but always asks questions back and tries to keep the convo going until I end it.. but that seems like long breaks because Ill admit I take like 20 min to respond to her on avg(busy/working usually) so I understand for the most part.. though she did text happy Thanksgiving to me first but I feel she did that for all her friends, idk. Also we went to the same mutual friend that paired us up's party right after our second date, the whole night she was hanging around me, she smokes weed but didn't go out to smoke with the others because she "didnt wanna leave (me) there" lol I told her to go but she refused". Throughout the night wed hold each other around the hips standing, even(face) cheek to cheek, I sat next to her and wrapped my arms around her shoulder for about 20-30 secs rubbing her arm until she leaned foward to hear what her friend had to say. And she wanted me to walk her home in the rain Also as far as touching, she does initiate SOME contact, but normally I do the most of it, usually holding her lower back or around her waist. But she has NEVER jumped back or flinched from my touch, and I'm very touchy feely with her lol. I do remember sitting in the car the first date and she was trying to get a glow bracelet over my hand onto my wrist but it looked and felt like she was just trying to hold my hand Anyways its really just her texting that's throwing me off because in person we seem great, do you all think were good or?.. Thanks all! Edited November 30, 2013 by Ryman
BikerAccnt Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Maybe she just doesn't like to text, or doesn't have a text plan. I know, hard to believe, but it happens. I prefer to actually use my phone as a phone myself. 1
MidwestUSA Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 It sounds like your dates went really well. Don't sabotage yourself by putting so much emphasis on texting! Does she even like it, or does she just feel like it's the thing to do? How do you truly feel about it? Talk to her!
d0nnivain Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 You can't judge anything by how fast or slow someone texts back. It sounds like things are going well. Stop inventing problems. 1
Author Ryman Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 Very well, I think I am putting too much thought into her texting.. also, the first 2 dates I didnt kiss her on the lips, only the cheek near her mouth for my own reasons. The first date because I just dont do that.. the second because she was kinda drunk from the party and it didnt feel right.. did I kinda blow it? Id hate to be friendzoned with this chick.. or does it sound like I might have a shot on the 3rd date?(I plan to go for it anyway I guess lol) Thanks guys!
d0nnivain Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Some women like to move slowly. Personally by the time I got to the 3rd date with the man who is now my husband & he hadn't kissed me I was annoyed. If he hadn't kissed me that night -- or at least given me the opportunity to kiss him -- I was gonna break up with him. I think you are safe trying for a real kiss on the 3rd date, assuming all else feels right to you. 1
Author Ryman Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 Thank you so much d0nnivain! Im definitely going for it on the 3rd(assuming all feels right). Thanks again! 1
Author Ryman Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 (edited) My answers in Bold Italic lol wut Well it applies to anyone, if you dont like someone, you wouldnt want them touching your face for sure. she may have thought it odd to have a bug bite on her forehead rubbed. I rubbed it because she kept rubbing it and bringing attention to it, so I rubbed it playfully saying its not that bad, it wasnt really weird lol. ya this is all about touching but you say it's about texting. you're going way overboard with the touching & need to ask her before doing some of this. she may go along with it, but if going against her natural instincts, intuition & her own pace, you're sabotaging. Idk, Ive layed off the touching and tried respecting a girls space and was friendzoned 4 times in a row now, I refuse to let this be the 5th so Im being more aggressive. She doesnt seem to dislike it at all, again a good example is when I wrapped my arm around her waist she got closer and layed her cheek against mine, that just doesnt scream "Get off me creep!" to me lol. Im not exactly awkward in person, in fact Im pretty charismatic, so some of these things may SOUND weird, but they really arent in practice j 3rd base never hurt anyone. GO team GO. Lmao. Haha funny thing is our third date is gonna be at a hockey game, go team! Edited December 1, 2013 by Ryman
Author Ryman Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 (edited) and you attribute that to not touching them enough? has it occurred to you that touching them more may have removed you even from the 'friendzone' to put you in the 'handsy, stay away from me' zone? this 'friendzone' malarkey is a load of tripe, excuse my antiquated mixed metaphors. 1. what is your problem with respecting a girl's space??? 2. what is your problem with asking her first if you can touch her??? sounds like you're taking advice from flunky pua fledglings, dysfunctional miserable beings who are beating their wings against the glass. anyway, good luck with that. j You really dont know me.. the last 4 girls I didnt really touch at all, I was way too shy/timid, so I assume they took that as disinterest and friendzoned me, its real because Ive lived it several times. I dont see what the problem is now, its not like Im grabbing her ass or anything.. Im just holding her lower back, hugging her and all, asking her would just make it feel awkward to me.. it just feels natual to wrap an arm around her sometimes and she seems ok with it(ive even snuck a look at her face and saw no discomfort..). Besides if she thought I was being a creepy touchy guy, then how come after our date, after all my nasty touching(which really isnt excessive...), why would she say "Im ok Id rather just stay here and keep talking" with a smile when I suggested we end the date.. it wasnt out of fear lol. Trust me if theres one thing I pride myself on its my charisma, Im one of the people that can make fun of their boss and get away with it with them laughing too, or more fitting, say or do things that if most guys did it it might be creepy, but I know how to make things seem natural. Its my best trait besides my humor, which might be part of the charisma.. lol To answer your Q's directly, 1. I have no problem, Im super respectful, but its held me back I feel. But I will never become a disrespectful slimeball, if its obvious she doesnt like it, I wont do it. 2. Again, asking to touch her would make the interaction feel awkward and unnatural to me =/ Edit: Oh and I think those pua guys are dumbasses in all honesty with all their rules and all so Edited December 1, 2013 by Ryman
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