Morgoth Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Been a while since I have stopped by LS. Just wondering if there are any younger current or former MOW involved in a EA/PA with an older man? Especially an Over 50 MOM? If so, what were your motivations for the older man? Do you think you had daddy issues? Or was it something else that was making you attracted to the older man? Thanks in advance....
dichotomy Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 (edited) Not exactly what you asked but as a BH, I can give you an answer based on what I understand of my mid 30's WW (ex OW) involvement with a mid 50's MM. Yes it was in great part... daddy issues... to the extreme. But probably not what your looking for. Probably best if you post in the OW/OM section. Edited November 30, 2013 by dichotomy 2
Ladydrib Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Been a while since I have stopped by LS. Just wondering if there are any younger current or former MOW involved in a EA/PA with an older man? Especially an Over 50 MOM? If so, what were your motivations for the older man? Do you think you had daddy issues? Or was it something else that was making you attracted to the older man? Thanks in advance.... I had no issues. Especially not with my dad. I was never attracted to older men and was very against infidelity (still am). So I have been unable to make any sense of my story. It might be as simple as I was very lonely and pretty much everything in my life was going wrong/bad when I met him. He liked me right away and gave me a lot of attention. He wasn't pushy but he was persistent. It was well over a year before we even spent time together as friends, before a PA even happened and before it was on my radar. In fact, the fact that he was so much older (20 yrs. +) made him slip under my radar. If I had found him attractive or compatible with me in a romantic sense I would never have even spent time with him as friends. I would have run! I know this is true because I have been attracted to men my own age since I was married, and that's exactly what I did - I ran! Anyway after a long time and a patient mm, I found that feelings had developed and it was a slippery slope that I constantly worked to get out of. From day 1 that I noticed my relationship with him WAS a threat and it WAS inappropriate. Getting away was not easy nor was it instantaneous. If women tend to end up with much older mm my guess it is similar, that they didn't see the men as a threat. They thought "yeah right, I'd never be with him" and before they knew it they're emotionally hooked. 1
Author Morgoth Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 Not exactly what you asked but as a BH, I can give you an answer based on what I understand of my mid 30's WW (ex OW) involvement with a mid 50's MM. Yes it was in great part... daddy issues... to the extreme. But probably not what your looking for. Probably best if you post in the OW/OM section. Thank you for posting. No that is exactly what I was looking for. Was her father absent, abusive, doting, substance abuse, etc?
Author Morgoth Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 I had no issues. Especially not with my dad. I was never attracted to older men and was very against infidelity (still am). So I have been unable to make any sense of my story. It might be as simple as I was very lonely and pretty much everything in my life was going wrong/bad when I met him. He liked me right away and gave me a lot of attention. He wasn't pushy but he was persistent. It was well over a year before we even spent time together as friends, before a PA even happened and before it was on my radar. In fact, the fact that he was so much older (20 yrs. +) made him slip under my radar. If I had found him attractive or compatible with me in a romantic sense I would never have even spent time with him as friends. I would have run! I know this is true because I have been attracted to men my own age since I was married, and that's exactly what I did - I ran! Anyway after a long time and a patient mm, I found that feelings had developed and it was a slippery slope that I constantly worked to get out of. From day 1 that I noticed my relationship with him WAS a threat and it WAS inappropriate. Getting away was not easy nor was it instantaneous. If women tend to end up with much older mm my guess it is similar, that they didn't see the men as a threat. They thought "yeah right, I'd never be with him" and before they knew it they're emotionally hooked. Interesting. Was it inappropriate from an age perspective or a moral perpective? What if the younger woman is the pursuer?
Ladydrib Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Interesting. Was it inappropriate from an age perspective or a moral perpective? What if the younger woman is the pursuer? In my opinion age is not a factor in whether something is appropriate or not. Definitely the fact that neither he nor I were single was hugely inappropriate. If the younger woman pursued then I would say the scenario above would not be possible. However, I believe most young women would not pursue much older men. I think it's most often the other way around, if not always. 2
BetrayedH Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 You may want to query lilgirlandow or solostand on the OW boards (if you haven't already). I don't know their ages but I know they have older MM.
Author Morgoth Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 In my opinion age is not a factor in whether something is appropriate or not. Definitely the fact that neither he nor I were single was hugely inappropriate. If the younger woman pursued then I would say the scenario above would not be possible. However, I believe most young women would not pursue much older men. I think it's most often the other way around, if not always. Well there is at least one I know of...
Ladydrib Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Well there is at least one I know of... How did she initiate? What did she do?
Author Morgoth Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 You may want to query lilgirlandow or solostand on the OW boards (if you haven't already). I don't know their ages but I know they have older MM. Thank you BH
Author Morgoth Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 How did she initiate? What did she do? She communicaited her intentions and I reciprocated.
BetrayedH Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Thank you BH You're welcome. Lil is probably the one to ask. If her story is to believed (frankly, I'm a skeptic), her MM literally calls her his little girl and she's into it. 1
Author Morgoth Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 I have a pet name for this one.
BetrayedH Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 I have a pet name for this one. Gollum, perhaps? 5
dichotomy Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 (edited) Thank you for posting. No that is exactly what I was looking for. Was her father absent, abusive, doting, substance abuse, etc? Without telling the whole story (which I should do someday here) - she adored him, but for a long while he traveled away from home. Later her dad reinvested himself as a husand and father - but died suddenly. She found his journal detailing years of sex addiction and cheating on her mom. She could not understand how he could love her mom,be a good dad, AND be cheating all those years and all those women. Enter older married man who resembled some of her dad, and said it was all normal and good - men cheat and are still good husbands and fathers. So she entered into a relationship with Older MM seeking daddy affections... dealing with her loss, grief, and hoping to accept her dad was a good man like OM and it was not wrong. Not wrong for Daddy, not wrong for Older MM, and not wrong for her to be a mistress .....like the ones daddy had. It was all good and comforting. You can't imagine the money I have spent on marriage counseling dealing with this mess ......and older MM was just the center piece of a table of crap. Edited November 30, 2013 by dichotomy 2
painfullyobvious Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 Without telling the whole story (which I should do someday here) - she adored him, but for a long while he traveled away from home. Later her dad reinvested himself as a husand and father - but died suddenly. She found his journal detailing years of sex addiction and cheating on her mom. She could not understand how he could love her mom,be a good dad, AND be cheating all those years and all those women. Enter older married man who resembled some of her dad, and said it was all normal and good - men cheat and are still good husbands and fathers. So she entered into a relationship with Older MM seeking daddy affections... dealing with her loss, grief, and hoping to accept her dad was a good man like OM and it was not wrong. Not wrong for Daddy, not wrong for Older MM, and not wrong for her to be a mistress .....like the ones daddy had. It was all good and comforting. You can't imagine the money I have spent on marriage counseling dealing with this mess ......and older MM was just the center piece of a table of crap. No matter the issue when a person cheats they leave a horrendous wake behind. I have listened to a number of excuses and so-called reasons on this board. I have heard of the daddy issues cheater before but when it comes right down to it, it is a matter of personal responsibility, selfishness, poor communication and a host of other reasons that a person DECIDES to cheat. In the end a cheater will look for any issue to point to as some sort of deflection from personal responsibility. I am a sex addict, I drink too much, I was abused, my parents divorced, my daddy cheated, etc. They may be underlying issues but the person who cheated still cheated by choice. Daddy issues is just another long line of issues and excuses to avoid complete responsibility. Honestly, what makes women more attracted to older men is maturity. As a immature behaving individual my wife refers to me as her third child. I think that is what draws the attention of younger women to older men. We men are basically immature until 40 and only slowly lose the immaturity after that. 1
Author Morgoth Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 Gollum, perhaps? Funny. Not the term of endearment that would fit her, especally if you saw her. I will say that whether she is broken, has daddy issues, or completely normal,. having her at her age at my age is gift. Of course I broke my rules against getting involved with a married woman.
Author Morgoth Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 Without telling the whole story (which I should do someday here) - she adored him, but for a long while he traveled away from home. Later her dad reinvested himself as a husand and father - but died suddenly. She found his journal detailing years of sex addiction and cheating on her mom. She could not understand how he could love her mom,be a good dad, AND be cheating all those years and all those women. Enter older married man who resembled some of her dad, and said it was all normal and good - men cheat and are still good husbands and fathers. So she entered into a relationship with Older MM seeking daddy affections... dealing with her loss, grief, and hoping to accept her dad was a good man like OM and it was not wrong. Not wrong for Daddy, not wrong for Older MM, and not wrong for her to be a mistress .....like the ones daddy had. It was all good and comforting. You can't imagine the money I have spent on marriage counseling dealing with this mess ......and older MM was just the center piece of a table of crap. Thanks, sorry to hear about the mess. Of course life is messy and patently unfair. I really appreciate you sharing the information. I have a feeling that my role is similair to what you described. Good luck to you. 1
Author Morgoth Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 No matter the issue when a person cheats they leave a horrendous wake behind. I have listened to a number of excuses and so-called reasons on this board. I have heard of the daddy issues cheater before but when it comes right down to it, it is a matter of personal responsibility, selfishness, poor communication and a host of other reasons that a person DECIDES to cheat. In the end a cheater will look for any issue to point to as some sort of deflection from personal responsibility. I am a sex addict, I drink too much, I was abused, my parents divorced, my daddy cheated, etc. They may be underlying issues but the person who cheated still cheated by choice. Daddy issues is just another long line of issues and excuses to avoid complete responsibility. Honestly, what makes women more attracted to older men is maturity. As a immature behaving individual my wife refers to me as her third child. I think that is what draws the attention of younger women to older men. We men are basically immature until 40 and only slowly lose the immaturity after that. Thanks for your reply. I am most of the things you mentioned in the first paragraph and I accept them about myself. I will say though that the BS has some culpability in the decline of the marriage and indirectly the cheating, by withholding sex, not providing connection or intmacy, giving up, not taking care of themselves to remain attractive, etc and over time people grow apart but do not want to blow up their family so they find different ways to get their needs met. I am sure their is a maturity element.
Author Morgoth Posted May 1, 2014 Author Posted May 1, 2014 Not sure this post is in the right place. I am a MM, with a OW or 2. I am over 50 and my lovers are as well. We get on great. I meet a 26 year old married woman through work. I was kind of curious why she would be interested in me, but she was and we had a couple of meetings. I figured she had daddy issues. So I was curious if I would be attractive to other Under 30's and what I am finding is very interesting. Excluding the sugar baby women, I am finding a lot of interest. Here is what I hear about the young men their age: - Most young guys can't hold a conversation. - They are broke and live w their parents. - They are immature. - There idea of sex is lick and stick or internet porn. - They have no idea there is an emotional component to sex. I could go on. I am seeing a 23 year old at the moment. I have given her more orgasms in a few weeks than she has ever had, according to her. I am not bragging, but its amazing what 20 minutes of foreplay will accomplish with a twenty something that never experienced it. A note, of the 2 Under 30's I slept w/ both are very inexperienced sexually, which I am not surprised about. So, just curious if anyone of you younger OW see it the same way? Thanks,
halfalive Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 (edited) Was a [OW] to a 40-something yo. I'm mid-twenties. What the hell is with people automatically assuming we have daddy issues? I had an awesome dad - zero issues there. I am just attracted to older men. They are better looking, smarter, more knowledge in general and more life experience. Boys my age are just imbeciles for the most part. On the sexual experience thing - I don't know. The MM that I slept with had very little experience. I think his wife only liked it missionary style or something. I definitely had more sexual knowledge and experience than he did. Edited May 1, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Terminology repair 1
still_an_Angel Posted May 1, 2014 Posted May 1, 2014 My MM is 11years my senior. Conversations are brilliant, I learn so much from him and he offers a mature perspective drawing on his life experiences. I have always lived an independent life and he respects that. I know he will gladly help me out at times but I have never asked and he knows better than to step in. He patiently allows me to grow at my own pace and I have never had anyone pay so much attention to me and knows a lot about my quirks, etc. On the sexual side, he has made himself very knowlegdable about my kinks because he is determined to do this for me which has warmed my heart tremendously. He is the only one who has made me squirt! I didnt think I was able to do it but there you go... On the other end of the scale, I had an ex who was 15years my junior. It was very satisfying physically and conversations were awesome as well, but he is a very intelligent person (barrister) to begin with. 2 brilliant men, different levels of sexual prowess, the difference lies in the emotional maturity by MM (older guy).
WrinkledForehead Posted May 2, 2014 Posted May 2, 2014 My issues are mommy issues, not daddy issues. My love is twenty years older than I am. When we met I had no idea he was that much older. I was attracted to him the first night we met and found out his age several weeks later. At the time I was dating a man 11 years older but that was pretty much my limit. I don't seek out older men; they are not typically the phenotype I prefer. But this one... Age doesn't matter. I'm trying to put myself in my shoes to the time when I'd just met him. He was funny, attentive, we had common interests and passions, and he's handsome. That was the first night. His eyes are so beautiful. From there it grew and we had amazing intellectual conversations and he'd teach me things (I'm in school; he has his degree in a field very similar to what I'm pursuing), we'd debate and banter about philosophy and ideas... To this day our discussions are one of my favorite parts of our relationship. Yes, he's financially stable, but I didn't know that for quite some time. Even now, committed to each other, I work my two jobs and pay my own bills. He helped me for a time with some daycare costs but I told him recently that I'm doing well enough alone. Older men aren't my "thing." It's this one person specifically that I'm drawn to.
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