HiImJack Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Met this girl over the summer, back in May I think. We started hanging out and then decided we both really liked each other. She had a crush on me for a while. Things we great. We had more in common than any other previous relationship I had ever been in. There was literally no problem. Then in the middle of September, she left me for another guy. She lied about it first, said she wasn't able to be in a relationship, but not long after I found out the truth. I confronted her about it briefly then went straight up NC. In the past 10 weeks we've talked only once, about 8 weeks ago. She messaged me, said whatsup and we had a very brief convo. Since then we haven't spoken. The first 2 weeks were pretty damn rough, especially trying to sleep at night. Then it got a little easier, and since the very beginning of November Ive really been... fine. Pretty damn good actually. This has been the easiest breakup Ive ever gone through. Not to say it was easy, but in the past it's taken me a year to get to where I am now. Ive been very proud... till now. I found out recently that the guy she left me for... they broke up. That is no more. And ever since then, all of the sudden I'm thinking about her again, and I REALLY want to break NC to talk to her. I almost did today but at the last second restrained myself. But I really do want to talk to her. Badly. I'm all of the sudden missing her again, not as much as in the beginning, no tears have been shed like before, but still there's moments where I'll think about the memories. Obviously part of me wants her back, despite the fact that she betrayed me, I feel maybe I should give her a second chance if shes willing. Ughh... I really don't know what to do. Should I just talk to her and get it over with so it isn't on my mind anymore and I at least got it out of the way, or should I continue to resist until I forget about her again? This has been getting slowly but progressively worse in the past 2 weeks since this happened. I feel really close to breaking and giving in, and like I said nearly did tonight. Any advice here is helpful. Anyone who's been in this situation before, or in one similar, I really need some advice here.....
keepontruckin Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 She left you once, and she'll leave you again. Is this what you want? 2
Sugarkane Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 I'd probably just laugh. Dumpers think they can do better than and she didn't care about your feelings. Now The same things happened to her. Wish this would happen every time. 1
nevergoodenough Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Met this girl over the summer, back in May I think. We started hanging out and then decided we both really liked each other. She had a crush on me for a while. Things we great. We had more in common than any other previous relationship I had ever been in. There was literally no problem. Then in the middle of September, she left me for another guy. She lied about it first, said she wasn't able to be in a relationship, but not long after I found out the truth. I confronted her about it briefly then went straight up NC. In the past 10 weeks we've talked only once, about 8 weeks ago. She messaged me, said whatsup and we had a very brief convo. Since then we haven't spoken. The first 2 weeks were pretty damn rough, especially trying to sleep at night. Then it got a little easier, and since the very beginning of November Ive really been... fine. Pretty damn good actually. This has been the easiest breakup Ive ever gone through. Not to say it was easy, but in the past it's taken me a year to get to where I am now. Ive been very proud... till now. I found out recently that the guy she left me for... they broke up. That is no more. And ever since then, all of the sudden I'm thinking about her again, and I REALLY want to break NC to talk to her. I almost did today but at the last second restrained myself. But I really do want to talk to her. Badly. I'm all of the sudden missing her again, not as much as in the beginning, no tears have been shed like before, but still there's moments where I'll think about the memories. Obviously part of me wants her back, despite the fact that she betrayed me, I feel maybe I should give her a second chance if shes willing. Ughh... I really don't know what to do. Should I just talk to her and get it over with so it isn't on my mind anymore and I at least got it out of the way, or should I continue to resist until I forget about her again? This has been getting slowly but progressively worse in the past 2 weeks since this happened. I feel really close to breaking and giving in, and like I said nearly did tonight. Any advice here is helpful. Anyone who's been in this situation before, or in one similar, I really need some advice here..... If she left you for someone else and they broke up, does that mean she wants you back? Probably not, I don't see why you would assume that without any indication from her. If she wanted you, she would tell you. Were I you, I would stick to NC. If you really want to though, go ahead and ask her if she wants to try again. You will be rejected and begin your course to a year of recovery. Going back for someone that left for for someone else and still getting turned down? That's going to hurt. Do as you wish, but I see no indication that you should put your healing on the line for someone that left you and gives no indication of wanting to try again. 1
cavalier99 Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 (edited) I'd probably just laugh. Dumpers think they can do better than and she didn't care about your feelings. Now The same things happened to her. Wish this would happen every time. My ex's new relashionship is going poorly. Im sad about it for her and really hoped it worked out..still do. I also would have been happy about this in the midst of my BU but not anymore. Just makes me sad for her. Then again it isnt my business..glad my RS is going strong. To the OP....DONT BREAK NC. Let the urge pass. You have been doing well. She doesnt want back. She hasnt even called. Shes probabaly banging some new guy already..and your holding out for her (mentaly) like a some sorta knight is shining armor. F*ck that noise. Go get laid and hit the gym. Forget her. Cav Edited November 30, 2013 by cavalier99
radiodarcy Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 I know the temptation to contact her is strong. But it's best if you resist. As cavalier99 mentioned, it doesn't sound as though your ex has made an effort to contact you since the break up; if you were to contact her now, most likely you would be setting yourself up to be her emotional crutch - - someone she can run to when things don't work it. Trust me, you don't want to play that role. Retain your dignity and stick to NC.
Am4Real Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 You mentioned this being the easiest break up to get over however your post is the opposite – you are not over the break up at all – you appear to be monitoring her and following her new relationship status. You once chose no contact and then broke it when she messaged you – and what came of that exchange – how about nothing – is nothing coming of it again what you’re willing to risk? Perhaps it’s time to recognize you once had a relationship with this person but she is not messaging you to tell you she is available again and regrets leaving you…no, she hasn’t and the only reason you know she is single is because you are monitoring her status. In other words you are not over this breakup. . If you choose to cling onto hopes and dreams and take a long shot risk, then text away…however I think you know better than you’re letting on how well you can expect it to work for you. If she regrets leaving you, she will be monitoring your status and will find you. If she doesn’t reach out to you, you can assume her answering your message at this stage would not come with ultimate desire. Does it not make sense to you that if she really wanted you she would find you? What does your gut tell you? 1
Author HiImJack Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 (edited) You mentioned this being the easiest break up to get over however your post is the opposite – you are not over the break up at all – you appear to be monitoring her and following her new relationship status. You once chose no contact and then broke it when she messaged you – and what came of that exchange – how about nothing – is nothing coming of it again what you’re willing to risk? Perhaps it’s time to recognize you once had a relationship with this person but she is not messaging you to tell you she is available again and regrets leaving you…no, she hasn’t and the only reason you know she is single is because you are monitoring her status. In other words you are not over this breakup. . If you choose to cling onto hopes and dreams and take a long shot risk, then text away…however I think you know better than you’re letting on how well you can expect it to work for you. If she regrets leaving you, she will be monitoring your status and will find you. If she doesn’t reach out to you, you can assume her answering your message at this stage would not come with ultimate desire. Does it not make sense to you that if she really wanted you she would find you? What does your gut tell you? First of all I appreciate the response, and to everyone else who responded thanks as well. Second of all... when I say it's the easiest breakup I ever felt, I mean that until 2 weeks ago I was about 80% over her. Thoughts of her no longer interfered with my simple enjoyment of everyday life, and thoughts of her were no longer intrusive, and when they did happen they were brief, in short bursts. No staying up all night because I couldn't stop thinking about her, and no more tears shed. It only took me a month to get there instead of 6 months to a year like in the past. Ive never gone NC so quickly and lasted so long either. And actually, I didn't find out she broke up with him through monitoring her, I hadn't been. Someone I know who's friends with both of us told me. When I found out... it all slowly started coming back. It didn't hit me all at once, but each day the urge to talk to her seems to get a little stronger... I forgot to mention, when this all first happened she initially said she still wanted to be friends, and thats why after 2 weeks of initial no contact she contacted me just to have normal conversation and see how I was doing. I only briefly responded though because I didn't want to talk, and I think she got the message because she hasn't tried again. And yes, it does make sense to me that if she wanted me she would eventually reach out, but not necessarily right away. It took her a long time to talk to me initially. She had a crush on me for several months before she finally contacted me to come after me. She also probably has to process everything that's happened. It's true, she may have completely forgot about me in the short 2 months since she left me for the other guy, and maybe now she's only thinking of him. Just because she hasn't talked to me yet doesn't mean that's true, though. And I want to know if it is. I shouldn't care, but unfortunately for now I do. I just have a strong urge to talk to her, not even to outright ask her if she wants to get back together, just talk. Of course, I only want to do that because I still have feelings at this point, and (for now) I'm gonna take your guys advice for now and not do it. I need to try to get my mind of her somehow. Idk how, the urge is pretty strong, but hopefully I'll find a way. Edited November 30, 2013 by HiImJack
bdizzle Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 kirk?...from AZ? Sounds like someone I know.
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