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Online Dating - Am I being judgmental?


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Posted

If someone puts on their OLD profile that grammar is important to them and emphasizes how much they value education, what do you do when:

 

1.) That person's profile is full of terrible grammar and misspelled words.

2.) The person messages you with a bunch of compliments and grammatical errors.

 

Am I making this into something it isn't? They (person who messaged me) seem nice enough, but it bothers me that this person can't write a decent sentence.

 

Is something like this a deal breaker for anyone else? I don't want to ignore their message, but if he can't write properly, I'm not interested.

  • Author
Posted

Is it? It come off as hypocritical that he says grammar is important but clearly has no grasp of proper sentence structure. Plus I can't take someone seriously if they may be functionally illiterate.

Posted

I would talk back in Yoda-style grammar and thank them for the condiments. If they 'get' what I'm doing then we're good. If they don't then it looks like they have indeed missed the bar.

  • Like 2
Posted (edited)

Because it says that in the profile I would probably stop "talking" to them if their profile & messages contain the very things they claim to hate.

 

I went on a date with some guy I met on a dating site. I don't drink when I drive & told him that. He told me he didn't drink either. I didn't care one way or the other but when we got to the restaurant he had 3 large martinis. :confused: If he hadn't said anything I probably wouldn't have notice what he drank & I certainly wouldn't have counted but that was just ridiculous.

Edited by d0nnivain
Posted

It would be a huge turnoff for me, but I'm a grammar/spelling nazi. I'd write back and go with 'thanks for the condiments'. Make sure your message contains lots of your/you're, their/they're/there, to/too, then/than. Make sure they're not used properly. 'Per say' is one of my favorites as well.

 

OR, send back his message to you, with corrections in bold or italics, LOL!

  • Like 2
Posted
if that's what gets your rocks off.

 

'Tongue in cheek'. Look it up. :rolleyes:

Posted

I think it would be funny if they say that grammar is important to them but they make grammar mistakes. Either it's an attempt at being humorous on their part or they really don't get it.

 

 

All that aside, I have known people that were generally well educated and smart but just couldn't spell worth a damn and/or would make grammar mistakes. I guess it depends on how important grammar and spelling are to you. We all have our flaws.

Posted

People that judge others on their standard of grammar, are generally annoying twats. For this reason alone, I would ignore this fella, regardless of his own standard of writing.

 

The only thing that pisses me off, are people that don't know what a paragraph is, and just hit you with a massive wall of text. These people deserve to be banned from the internets.

  • Like 1
Posted

If he wrote how important proper grammar is to him in the dating profile, and then misspelled/incorrectly messaged you, then something is off. It speaks volumes to a lack of personal awareness.

Posted
If someone puts on their OLD profile that grammar is important to them and emphasizes how much they value education, what do you do when:

 

1.) That person's profile is full of terrible grammar and misspelled words.

2.) The person messages you with a bunch of compliments and grammatical errors.

 

Am I making this into something it isn't? They (person who messaged me) seem nice enough, but it bothers me that this person can't write a decent sentence.

 

Is something like this a deal breaker for anyone else? I don't want to ignore their message, but if he can't write properly, I'm not interested.

 

 

 

You simply ignore that sort of person - not for their poor grammar... but for deceit by the implication of a certain standard, and then not living up to said standard. Do you want that frame of mind in your bed in 15 years??

Posted

Maybe he has a very dry sense of humor.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted

I'm tempted to call him out on it, but at the same time I don't want to be a jerk about it. Regardless, the curiosity is extremely annoying.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted
ahahaaa maybe fitchick is right & he's doing it to eff with the grammar police!

 

maybe his ex was nitpicky about it & this is his little attempt to rectify it.

 

kind of sadly genius

 

Maybe. Either that or he's a complete moron.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted

After reading a horribly written draft of a friend's paper, I wound up messaging the guy and called him out on his hypocrisy. He didn't take it too well (go figure) and attempted to deny his errors.

 

The second guy (yes, there were two who sent terribly written messages) was a little more receptive and admitted he's in the process of improving his writing.

 

I guess the lessons are:

 

A.) online dating is hilarious and can provide great comedic relief if not taken seriously.

B.) If/when I decide to seriously look for someone, it won't be on POF.

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