John316C Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 I went on a date. After the date she told me to contact her on POF. I didn't ask her number. I contacted her the same day and wrote this: Hey, Jaime. It was nice meeting you. I was really nervous. It isn't you. Its just that I have an anxiety disorder, and I have trouble speaking when people are around - Its a voice disorder. When there's no one around to hear I can speak a lot more normal and act normally. That's why I was very reluctant to talk or as you any questions. I live on ---------- b.t.w. beside the gates. ... Beside the renovated Church. If you still want to get to know me - I'd like that; but It would take me awhile to get comfortable with you and I can't do it when there are people close by or actively listening. If you're interested, get back to me and we can talk a bit about it. She read it but didn't contact me since the day after the date on Monday the 25th. Its 1AM Saturday now. I know she's been on POF several times since the last date but she hasn't written me back. 1
cluelessinES Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 I think you shouldnt tell someone you've just met that you have a disorder, as a general rule you should not discuss any problems that you might have in your life. First dates are for having fun and getting to know eachother. People get scared when they hear words like "disorder", they have problems of their own and do not want to complicate their lives. 4
gaius Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 I'm guessing the date went kinda bad and you tried to make up for it by explaining you had a disorder? First dates are generally perform or die for a guy. No excuses allowed.
todreaminblue Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 i give chances unless they are sleazy......mainly because i am schizo affective......i dont bring it up on the first date.......i do if i dont want to see them again......they automatically think oh dear here is a bunny boiler...which is funny considering I have a menagerie of animals and havent cooked them yet ......dont stress she wasnt right for you.......deb
elbe Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 As someone who also has anxiety I understand this. Girls don't want an explanation. They don't really care. They just know how they remember and perceived the encounter. This one wasn't interested so the long letter didn't blow it - but it didn't seal the deal either. Try not to bring up the "disorder" and instead just work through it. Time to find a new babe. Good luck! 1
d0nnivain Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 If you both live in the US you can't read much into this behavior during Thanksgiving week. She may have had family obligations or worse, family drama. Reach out again next Monday or Tuesday but just once. If you don't get a response after that, assume she's not interested. Based on your knowledge that she has been back on POF, I suspect it's that she's not interested but I'll give the benefit of the doubt.
Lansing Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 Personally if she is interested she should respond. No need to contact her again. Even if she was "busy" she should respond when she is less busy if she is I retreated. Please don't contact her again. Regarding your anxiety, I would just try to pick dates that allow you to have more privacy. Maybe a coffee shop with more room between tables. Or, grab a coffee and go sit in a park bench. No one will overhear your conversation more than a second or two there.
mrnova66 Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 You stated that she is still on plenty of fish. Well that explains it all. I have a news flash for you. That is one big meat market. Just like the real world. Most women on there(99.999999%) on there are always looking for the bigger and better deal. Or Mr. Drama king(Drunk,drug dealer,jail bird,deadbeat,bum) But meaqnwhile back at the ranch these same exact women "CLAIM" they want a good guy. Which is furthest from the truth
Author John316C Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 It's been a month since Thanksgiving. We're both Canadians. She contacted me back yesterday on the 30th and wrote this: "Hey, if you want we could hang out sometime this week maybe?" I replied 10 minutes later and wrote this: Yeah. In a day or two I'll send you a message. Where are you comfortable meeting me? I'll decide If you don't have any ideas. What does this mean?
scorpiogirl Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 It's been a month since Thanksgiving. We're both Canadians. She contacted me back yesterday on the 30th and wrote this: "Hey, if you want we could hang out sometime this week maybe?" I replied 10 minutes later and wrote this: Yeah. In a day or two I'll send you a message. Where are you comfortable meeting me? I'll decide If you don't have any ideas. What does this mean? No. I was going to say I dont think you explaining your condition was a bad thing but this subsequent message was. Why do you text her to tell her you're going to text her? You should've said, "great, let's have dinner on Friday night. Do you like Italian?"
Author John316C Posted December 2, 2013 Author Posted December 2, 2013 It's been a month since Thanksgiving. We're both Canadians. She contacted me back yesterday on the 30th and wrote this: "Hey, if you want we could hang out sometime this week maybe?" What does this mean? I wrote before If you're interested, get back to me and we can talk a bit about it. She replied with the above. I just noticed she wrote if you want we could... not could we hang out this week maybe? I replied 10 minutes later and wrote this: Yeah. In a day or two I'll send you a message. Where are you comfortable meeting me? I'll decide If you don't have any ideas. What do you think?
Author John316C Posted December 2, 2013 Author Posted December 2, 2013 No. I was going to say I dont think you explaining your condition was a bad thing but this subsequent message was. Why do you text her to tell her you're going to text her? You should've said, "great, let's have dinner on Friday night. Do you like Italian?" I don't know where I want to go yet. If I did I would have said exactly that.
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