Author forgetmenot75 Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 He smells like booze at 11am in the morning and is probably drinking while taking antidepressants. One word: loser. You know that he's basically nullifying the effects of the antidepressants by drinking, right? He might as well take a placebo. He took antidepressants on the past, not taking anymore. He is a loser, I already knew this. I'm a loser as well.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 Correct advice from a bad source is still unreliable. I admire your honesty, but correct or not...you can't expect a soul to listen to what you say (or find those that parrot the same message the least bit credible) when you can't practice what you preach. You're not blind to your own relationship problems, as that would make you ignorant to the mistakes you make. You are willingly, with full knowledge of the likely outcome, behaving foolishly. Don't hide behind the safe veil of blindness or claim to be too weak to overcome your issues. That's just an excuse to perpetuate bad behavior. Honesty is supposed to be the first step in recovery, but you seem to be using it as a springboard to dive right back in. You've got the power to stop, so do it. Giving advice here has made me stay sane. I know perfectly the steps a person needs to break the circle and heal after a breakup. I've read thousands of articles and books this last year. I also read about players, sociopaths, relationship issues, attachment problems, unavailable men, pua, old advice...gosh I don't think there's anything more to read out there. Still, I am weak, and I have issues, and I'm conscious of all these. I don't hide behind my issues. and if I have the power to stop it or not...I probably can stop it but I don;t see anything better right now.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 He sent me a text half an hour ago asking me if I made it on time to my docs appointment today. He's never done this before.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 He smelled of alcohol at 11am in the morning... Yes, wtf...that's not normal, isn't it?
Author forgetmenot75 Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 Errr... no. Unless someone "accidently" spilled a beer on him, someone who needs to hit the sauce before lunchtime would ring some serious alarm bells. It's not like he's at a recovery event after a college party. I'm assuming he's older than that... haha omg, you made me laugh actually. no, I dont think anyone spilled beer on him. This smell came directly from his mouth ugh. And yes, he's 45 yo, so no college party either.
Simon Phoenix Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Life's been too hard for me to bear it lately. 2013 has been the worst year of my life so far: I separated from from husband, I couldn't get a job, I lost one year at college because of my inability to pass math so I could transfer, and this guy whom I got addicted to, specially. I just need a break. I really need a break So your solution to a tough set of circumstance is to double down and take on more garbage? C'mon. 1
mtnbiker3000 Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 I'm sorry It is maybe I have this issues and I always tend to have dysfunctional relationships with men. I don't think I'll ever have a loving and caring true relationship in my life. Because of the way I was raised. It's like I somehow deserve to be with this problematic guys, and nothing will change this. It's him or its another problematic guy. It's been the story of my life. Look. You CAN change this. It is possible! And, unless you want the same old shyte for the rest of your life, you will try to change. Like me, now you have at least uncovered and admitted to some serious issues. That is a huge step. One that many people can't / won't make... Maybe time to take a break from the ex and RS's in general and start to work on these issues. I have a lot of residual BS left over from childhood too. But I'm done with letting it dictate my life, and I suggest you take on the same outlook. There is lot's of help out there if you want it. It takes work, but then again, doesn't anything of worth in life? 1
mtnbiker3000 Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Life is tough!!! So what?? In 2013, I lost my mom, who I was very close with, was left by my fiance of 3 years and find myself stuck in a small town I never planned on moving to with basically no support, a crappy dead-end job out of my profession, a terrible apartment and not much to be happy about. I get it. But that is no excuse to keep repeating sabotaging patterns. Resolve to make 2014 better. Way better!! 1
Author forgetmenot75 Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 Look. You CAN change this. It is possible! And, unless you want the same old shyte for the rest of your life, you will try to change. Like me, now you have at least uncovered and admitted to some serious issues. That is a huge step. One that many people can't / won't make... Maybe time to take a break from the ex and RS's in general and start to work on these issues. I have a lot of residual BS left over from childhood too. But I'm done with letting it dictate my life, and I suggest you take on the same outlook. There is lot's of help out there if you want it. It takes work, but then again, doesn't anything of worth in life? Really? you truly believe that I can change this pattern? People don't usually change. It's the way we've born and raised. what can you expect from someone that has been in an abusive family? To actually have healthy relationships? Sorry, I'm just losing my faith right now. I'll be ok, I hope.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 Life is tough!!! So what?? In 2013, I lost my mom, who I was very close with, was left by my fiance of 3 years and find myself stuck in a small town I never planned on moving to with basically no support, a crappy dead-end job out of my profession, a terrible apartment and not much to be happy about. I get it. But that is no excuse to keep repeating sabotaging patterns. Resolve to make 2014 better. Way better!! I'm sorry. Hey we might be neighbors I guess we are all unhappy people here. If we were happy, we would be doing other things, not posting in a breaking up forum.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 Just relating things. this guy was raised in an abusive family as well. single mom, who was verbally and physically abusive. And look how is he doing... I feel sorry for him, and I feel sorry for myself.
Haydn Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Do you really believe everything is all doom and gloom? When you post to support people you usually say the right things. I am sorry that you feel your background and his define you but they shouldn`t. I was raised by a mum and dad who fought to keep food on the table and pushed me so hard to get out of the area in London we lived in (Total **** hole). Yes we can be unhappy people here because our RS did not work out the way we wanted them to. We got hurt badly and the hurt stays for a long time. But it does not mean we are unhappy all the time and this forum is a place that picked me up when i thought it was truly the end for me. From the kind advice to the harsh advice it all helped! From Simon P`s `Grow a pair to Aspirings no nonsense approach. Each has made me ask the questions about myself i never asked before. These people are strangers but they seem so close as well. If you could listen to some of it you may come through it. You do sound like a bubbly girl with a lot of personality so go and meet someone who deserves you. Take care. Just relating things. this guy was raised in an abusive family as well. single mom, who was verbally and physically abusive. And look how is he doing... I feel sorry for him, and I feel sorry for myself.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted December 10, 2013 Author Posted December 10, 2013 Do you really believe everything is all doom and gloom? When you post to support people you usually say the right things. I am sorry that you feel your background and his define you but they shouldn`t. I was raised by a mum and dad who fought to keep food on the table and pushed me so hard to get out of the area in London we lived in (Total **** hole). Yes we can be unhappy people here because our RS did not work out the way we wanted them to. We got hurt badly and the hurt stays for a long time. But it does not mean we are unhappy all the time and this forum is a place that picked me up when i thought it was truly the end for me. From the kind advice to the harsh advice it all helped! From Simon P`s `Grow a pair to Aspirings no nonsense approach. Each has made me ask the questions about myself i never asked before. These people are strangers but they seem so close as well. If you could listen to some of it you may come through it. You do sound like a bubbly girl with a lot of personality so go and meet someone who deserves you. Take care. This forum has helped me immensely. I also want to thank Simon, Aspiring, Cavalier, Zahara, Taramaiden...
Simon Phoenix Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Just relating things. this guy was raised in an abusive family as well. single mom, who was verbally and physically abusive. And look how is he doing... I feel sorry for him, and I feel sorry for myself. Who cares about him? It's about you.
mtnbiker3000 Posted December 10, 2013 Posted December 10, 2013 Really? you truly believe that I can change this pattern? People don't usually change. It's the way we've born and raised. what can you expect from someone that has been in an abusive family? To actually have healthy relationships? Sorry, I'm just losing my faith right now. I'll be ok, I hope. It's your choice. I choose to shake things up a bit... Hope I see ya on the other side
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