I did something wrong

[forgetmenot75]

Mellel: not sure you're referring to me? I've been NC for 2 months this last time.

 

 

Yeah, I feel ok. Like myself again. For the guy who likes to be chased: I'm free right now, do you want me to chase you? just kidding, obviously

[forgetmenot75]

Just an update:

 

do you think he contacted me? Yeah, you're right. What a jerk. not a word, at least to cancel.

 

Me: Haven't contacted him either.

 

Can't believe how unemphatic a person can be. He's almost a sociopath, from my point of view. How come? Not a word, at least to cancel? What an idiot. I'm not surprised he triggered the angry side on myself before. What a jerk. I just can't stop saying this!

 

I'm tempted to message him, but it's really not worth it.

[Simon Phoenix]

I mean, you already know the score of this game. Why do you keep trying to play? You never win and you never will win.

[forgetmenot75]

I was watching an episode of "wicked attraction" on youtube (a passional crimes series, if you want to take a look and this guy, who was a killer and was a sociopath, made me take a look at the characteristics of sociopaths. I was in shock when I did recognize the majority of these characteristics on my "ex". Really shocking. Still, I know I might be wrong, and he probably be the most charming and reliable man in world, that he just not showed that with me, but who knows, right?

 

So, after doing this little research, I went to bed, fell asleep, and suddenly woke up at 1:22 am. I checked my phone automatically, and saw he texted me 2 minutes ago, at 1:20 am. Weird thing is I have my phone on silent mode, so I really don't know how I woke up at that time.

We texted for a while, he apologized we couldn't meet, and he asked me when I was free. I told him I'm busy for the week and I left the conversation after some more minutes, without saying bye.

 

I find myself better prepared, after so many months of dealing with my emotions. The only thing I know is that I have to avoid at all costs to see him. While talking to him provides some relief (knowing he is indeed there, still) I know that seeing him will drain me and will make me feel weak and miserable. Just like sociopaths make feel to other people.

Questions are why on earth I got involved with a person like him? And why I still can't break this miserable chain that binds me to him

[Simon Phoenix]

Dude, I'm really not sure what your issue is, but you need to get your head straight. You keep pandering to this guy even though he sees you as nothing more than a hookup and you keep stringing along your pining ex-husband who you want nothing to do with out of pure selfishness. It's time for you to get your sh*t together and stop this ridiculous behavior on both ends (I'm hoping you have already stopped the stuff with your ex-husband).

[forgetmenot75]

Now he's asking me when can he sees me, and I really can't answer him. He texted me this morning.

I feel sad. This is some kind of crazy addiction. I only want to start my classes at school again so I'll be busy and I'll meet new people, and I'll forget about him.

 

I'd like to continue texting, but I just don't want to meet him. how can I let him know this? Texts are allright, I just don't want to get attached to him again because I know how he is.

[Simon Phoenix]

Now he's asking me when can he sees me, and I really can't answer him. He texted me this morning.

I feel sad. This is some kind of crazy addiction. I only want to start my classes at school again so I'll be busy and I'll meet new people, and I'll forget about him.

 

I'd like to continue texting, but I just don't want to meet him. how can I let him know this? Texts are allright, I just don't want to get attached to him again because I know how he is.

 

Texts are not all right, you are still attached. No communication is alright in this situation. For as hard core as you are in giving NC advice to others on this board you completely ignore it and do the wrong thing constantly in your own situation.

[forgetmenot75]

It's difficult to follow my own advice, though I know it's correct.

I know exactly what I should do. I know he's a predator, he only wants sex, he's not into me. I know he's a loser, a player, and a liar. A manipulative bitch.

I know he never cared, never got mad, and never missed me. I know he's not interested at all. He doesnt care about my feelings, he never asked me how I was. He flaked, and he lied to me, and he forgot about our dates in the past.

Yet still, i continue to care about him. I'm aware of this.

I'm a fwb. He wants that.

 

No contact and he'll forget, like I was one of many. No contact and it'll be like I wasn't even there. He'll not care. How come I fell prey of such an idiot and I can't manage to get out of this situation?

 

I need to change my life. This is miserable.

[Simon Phoenix]

It's difficult to follow my own advice, though I know it's correct.

I know exactly what I should do. I know he's a predator, he only wants sex, he's not into me. I know he's a loser, a player, and a liar. A manipulative bitch.

I know he never cared, never got mad, and never missed me. I know he's not interested at all. He doesnt care about my feelings, he never asked me how I was. He flaked, and he lied to me, and he forgot about our dates in the past.

Yet still, i continue to care about him. I'm aware of this.

I'm a fwb. He wants that.

 

No contact and he'll forget, like I was one of many. No contact and it'll be like I wasn't even there. He'll not care. How come I fell prey of such an idiot and I can't manage to get out of this situation?

 

I need to change my life. This is miserable.

 

And this point it's not his fault, it's yours. It's not like he's doing anything particularly manipulative -- you are the one who keeps knocking on his door.

[forgetmenot75]

Thank you all. I haven't replied. Need strength, my rational side doesn't want to reply, but my unconscious is pushing on the contrary.

Aspiringuitarheroine: if he would be insisting and initiating, I'd lose interest. It's him not doing that what picks my interest again and again.

[Simon Phoenix]

Thank you all. I haven't replied. Need strength, my rational side doesn't want to reply, but my unconscious is pushing on the contrary.

Aspiringuitarheroine: if he would be insisting and initiating, I'd lose interest. It's him not doing that what picks my interest again and again.

 

Are you 16? I mean, girls in high school have these thought processes, not adult women.

[forgetmenot75]

Hello all,

 

He's contacted me again, wanted to see me on Friday. I said no. then, he sent me a text today at 2:16 am wanting to know if I was awake??

Haven't replied to any of those, but I'm feeling very uneasy with myself.

I'm a mess right now. All this contact has triggered all the feelings again, and I find myself wanting to meet him.

Besides, he's never insisted so much in the past. what is going on?

[JDPT]

*speechless*

[forgetmenot75]

Thank you for the feedback.

Why are you speechless, JDPT?

 

Aspiring: He has tons of opportunities to get laid. Why then he's insisting on me? He's charming and very handsome. He has no need of sex with me. Besides, he knows my feelings for him. Why would he insist?

This is the first time I haven't replied, or run to him when he tells me to.

[forgetmenot75]

I was thinking that, maybe, he realized what he's lost and now behave differently.

 

I'm feeling unreliable with him not answering his texts.

[Simon Phoenix]

I was thinking that, maybe, he realized what he's lost and now behave differently.

 

I'm feeling unreliable with him not answering his texts.

 

You really need to wake the fu*k up.

[JDPT]

You really need to wake the fu*k up.

 

You actually said it much nicer than I would have.

[Simon Phoenix]

You actually said it much nicer than I would have.

 

Well, the site wouldn't let me type the c.

[forgetmenot75]

An update from me.

 

We did meet this morning. Amazingly, this time was different. Mostly for me.

This is so different from the other times, the way I feel...

 

He hugged me and couldn't stop, I had to separate him. then we talked, and we talked, for almost three hours. Mostly how things have been for each one of us. He told me about his ex. And I realized how trapped he is because he's obsessed, and how he cannot realize it. I told him about my ex, he listened to me and asked me questions.

 

I've noticed he smelled like alcohol, though. and it was 11 in the morning. Very heavy and penetrating smell of alcohol. He told me he was on antidepressants some time ago for this issues with the ex... He also confused some dates. He told me some things that were time unrelated, and I knew it.

 

It was strange, somehow I started to see him like a poor guy, and I felt sorry for him.

 

On the other hand, he treated me like never before. So affectionate.

 

Time flew by and I had to say goodbye to him. We were both surprised how time flew, after 3 hours talking. I could almost did not say goodbye because I was running late for a doctor's appointment.

 

I feel ok. I feel it was good seeing him. Somehow, this time I saw him as a human, with his flaws and his demons.

[forgetmenot75]

*headdesk*

 

I'm sorry

It is maybe I have this issues and I always tend to have dysfunctional relationships with men. I don't think I'll ever have a loving and caring true relationship in my life. Because of the way I was raised.

It's like I somehow deserve to be with this problematic guys, and nothing will change this. It's him or its another problematic guy. It's been the story of my life.

[Simon Phoenix]

It just boggles my mind how hard core you are when you give advice to others yet so ignorant of said advice as it relates in your life.

[forgetmenot75]

Simon, you know my advice is correct.

and I've already told you I'm blind when it refers to my own relationship problems.

I don't expect anyone to copy my lifestyle. I know very well it's not the way to go. If I post updates here is because I want you to know what's happening in my life. I don't disguise my choices. This is what's happening right now.

Am I happy with my decisions? I'd probably prefer to stick to no contact forever and have the strength I expect others will have in similar situations. Of course I know my behavior is not the best, and for sure, not to follow.

 

But I am weak, and I have issues, and this is something I''ll carry on all my life. Perhaps, I'm a little depressed, and defeated.

[Simon Phoenix]

Simon, you know my advice is correct.

and I've already told you I'm blind when it refers to my own relationship problems.

I don't expect anyone to copy my lifestyle. I know very well it's not the way to go. If I post updates here is because I want you to know what's happening in my life. I don't disguise my choices. This is what's happening right now.

Am I happy with my decisions? I'd probably prefer to stick to no contact forever and have the strength I expect others will have in similar situations. Of course I know my behavior is not the best, and for sure, not to follow.

 

But I am weak, and I have issues, and this is something I''ll carry on all my life. Perhaps, I'm a little depressed, and defeated.

 

Well, you need to sack up and stop being stupid. I mean, you know what you are doing is destructive, you know exactly why it's destructive, yet you do it anyway. It's mind-boggling to me. You don't have to be defeated, you don't have to succumb to terrible relationships. It's time to be an adult and make an adult decision to do something different.

 

It's one thing to not do the smart thing because you have no idea what the smart thing is. It's another thing to realize that what you are doing is not smart, know why it's not smart, yet do it anyway.

[Never Again]

Correct advice from a bad source is still unreliable.

 

I admire your honesty, but correct or not...you can't expect a soul to listen to what you say (or find those that parrot the same message the least bit credible) when you can't practice what you preach.

 

You're not blind to your own relationship problems, as that would make you ignorant to the mistakes you make. You are willingly, with full knowledge of the likely outcome, behaving foolishly.

 

Don't hide behind the safe veil of blindness or claim to be too weak to overcome your issues. That's just an excuse to perpetuate bad behavior.

 

Honesty is supposed to be the first step in recovery, but you seem to be using it as a springboard to dive right back in.

 

You've got the power to stop, so do it.

[forgetmenot75]

Well, you need to sack up and stop being stupid. I mean, you know what you are doing is destructive, you know exactly why it's destructive, yet you do it anyway. It's mind-boggling to me. You don't have to be defeated, you don't have to succumb to terrible relationships. It's time to be an adult and make an adult decision to do something different.

 

It's one thing to not do the smart thing because you have no idea what the smart thing is. It's another thing to realize that what you are doing is not smart, know why it's not smart, yet do it anyway.

 

Life's been too hard for me to bear it lately. 2013 has been the worst year of my life so far: I separated from from husband, I couldn't get a job, I lost one year at college because of my inability to pass math so I could transfer, and this guy whom I got addicted to, specially.

I just need a break. I really need a break