anna477 Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 So the other day I met up for drinks with my new neighbor (a girl) and she brought along 2 of her guy friends. We all had a great time and by the end of the night one of the guys was putting his arm around me. I found him to be attractive so I didn't object and I was a little drunk so I let him kiss me. I kissed him back lightly and passionately and he was starting to go crazy. He said he wanted badly to bring me home but he could see that I was drunk and didn't think it would be right to do it. But we kept kissing and he was like - alright let's go back to my place but I promise I won't touch you, I will be a gentleman. I will make a promise to my friend (my girl neighbor) that I won't do anything inappropriate. I just want to cuddle you all night and then we will have brunch and watch Lord of the Rings together ). So I ended up going home with him and he was being a gentleman and was trying to be appropriate but I being the nympho that I am, initiated the sex. We had crazy wild sex the whole night. He was blown away by me and said - god damn this is the best sex I ever had and ever will have. He even said - will you marry me tomorrow? (probably as a joke, and I laughed). He came 5 times and was exhausted. We ended up staying in bed all morning and not going out to brunch and not watching Lord of the Rings. He had to leave by 12 to travel home for Thanksgiving so that was when we parted. I even helped him fold his clothes. Then he texted me today and wished me a Happy Thanksgiving. I said- you too. How is your vacation going? He said - partied last night with my friends, and ate and slept all day today, and you?. I said - nice, I helped cook all day and ate some yummy food and now I'm really full . Then he said - time for some Lord of the Rings!! And I said - Yes!! Can't wait I haven't heard a reply since I said this, but I'm wondering if I'm sounding too eager and am coming off as too strong or needy. Even though he enjoyed the sex and was impressed, I don't want to turn him off by acting like I am too excited to see him. It was kind of an automatic reply on my part but I realized how it may have sounded after I sent it. He is coming back in 4 days so I wonder why he said "time for some Lord of the Rings" as if we were going to see each other that same day?? Maybe I'm over-analyzing everything. Your thoughts? Do you think I ruined it?
Under The Radar Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 He may not want a LTR with you, but if the sex was as good as you say it was (for him) then you can count on this guy contacting you again.
Kizza Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 Call me cynical but... I have a feeling "Lord of the Rings" doesn't just straight up mean the actual movie "lord of the Rings" may be metaphorical. 1
Author anna477 Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 I'm just a girl who enjoys sex as much as any other guy (or person) for that matter. Just because I sleep with a guy on the first night whom I like doesn't mean that I sleep around with just anybody. I actually do want a LTR with someone worthy and special - I just hope he isn't one of those sexist guys who subscribes to society's outmoded double standard. 1
Author anna477 Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 Call me cynical but... I have a feeling "Lord of the Rings" doesn't just straight up mean the actual movie "lord of the Rings" may be metaphorical. Perhaps you're right - but I actually do want to watch it with him first before going at it.
Kizza Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 What I am saying is there was never any intention to Watch the movie Lord of the Rings.... He IS Lord of the Rings... I understand how you say that you enjoy sex as much as the next guy, maybe more, but understand that this leaves you wide open to guys to use you for sex. If you are fine with this and enjoy this type of affair then no problems but if not then I suggest not falling for obvious lines as we will cuddle have brunch and watch Lord of the Rings.... Personally I translate that to "we will cuddle, then I will munch and then be Lord of your Ring" but yes as I said I am cynical 1
Author anna477 Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 What I am saying is there was never any intention to Watch the movie Lord of the Rings.... He IS Lord of the Rings... I understand how you say that you enjoy sex as much as the next guy, maybe more, but understand that this leaves you wide open to guys to use you for sex. If you are fine with this and enjoy this type of affair then no problems but if not then I suggest not falling for obvious lines as we will cuddle have brunch and watch Lord of the Rings.... Personally I translate that to "we will cuddle, then I will munch and then be Lord of your Ring" but yes as I said I am cynical LOL Kizza! Perhaps you are right. Although to be honest, he really was not intending to do anything (so it seemed) but I pushed it.
Author anna477 Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 (edited) You know what, IDK - if it would "ruin" me in his mind then I really don't need him anyway. I am not interested in dating some sexist loser who judges women based on double standards. And I know that there are men who don't think that way. If the sex is great that's a plus not a minus, if the person is great that's even better. Edited November 29, 2013 by anna477 1
Kizza Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 May I ask something regarding your original post? When you asked... do you think I ruined it? What were you referring to?
Author anna477 Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 May I ask something regarding your original post? When you asked... do you think I ruined it? What were you referring to? What I meant was - did I make myself sound too clingy/eager? Like (yes, can't wait to see you again!)
Author anna477 Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 (edited) It's not a double standard. If you're looking for long-term relationships, it's best to not involve sex and see if you are truly compatible. Sex complicates things. You sound very immature. It also sounds like you read too many feminazi books. No guy in his right mind would date a girl that sleeps with him hours after they meet. FWB, sure, but not dating. Why? Because if she's doing it with him, she's probably doing it with lots of other guys. I see where you're coming from and I don't entirely disagree with you. However, I could say the same thing about him too, right? He also slept with me so he "must be sleeping with lots of other girls." I'm thinking about telling him next time I see him - you know, if we're going to see each other and do this (i.e. hook up) I want you to know that I won't be doing that with anyone else, and I hope you will respect that and do the same. (Which isn't the same thing as saying, let's be in a relationship which now makes you my boyfriend). And even though I slept with him on the first night, I haven't been with anyone since my last breakup in August. Edited November 29, 2013 by anna477
Kizza Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 In the context of a fun time then hell no, that's what he wants to hear. in the context of something more substantial, yes! if he is keen on sex only then that comment would scare him off from the drama that would ensue if you were more than keen on him for more than that... 2
Author anna477 Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 (edited) I find that if a relationship (or even friendship) is based mostly on sex, it doesn't last. If it is based on an emotional connection, it can last for a VERY long time. You are very right about that. But perhaps a relationship can also be based on an emotional connection if 2 people try to see if it is there (even if the sex happened first). I definitely will not stick around if that part is missing. Edited November 29, 2013 by anna477 1
happydate Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 (edited) So the other day I met up for drinks with my new neighbor (a girl) and she brought along 2 of her guy friends. We all had a great time and by the end of the night one of the guys was putting his arm around me. I found him to be attractive so I didn't object and I was a little drunk so I let him kiss me. I kissed him back lightly and passionately and he was starting to go crazy. He said he wanted badly to bring me home but he could see that I was drunk and didn't think it would be right to do it. But we kept kissing and he was like - alright let's go back to my place but I promise I won't touch you, I will be a gentleman. I will make a promise to my friend (my girl neighbor) that I won't do anything inappropriate. I just want to cuddle you all night and then we will have brunch and watch Lord of the Rings together ). So I ended up going home with him and he was being a gentleman and was trying to be appropriate but I being the nympho that I am, initiated the sex. We had crazy wild sex the whole night. He was blown away by me and said - god damn this is the best sex I ever had and ever will have. He even said - will you marry me tomorrow? (probably as a joke, and I laughed). He came 5 times and was exhausted. We ended up staying in bed all morning and not going out to brunch and not watching Lord of the Rings. He had to leave by 12 to travel home for Thanksgiving so that was when we parted. I even helped him fold his clothes. Then he texted me today and wished me a Happy Thanksgiving. I said- you too. How is your vacation going? He said - partied last night with my friends, and ate and slept all day today, and you?. I said - nice, I helped cook all day and ate some yummy food and now I'm really full . Then he said - time for some Lord of the Rings!! And I said - Yes!! Can't wait I haven't heard a reply since I said this, but I'm wondering if I'm sounding too eager and am coming off as too strong or needy. Even though he enjoyed the sex and was impressed, I don't want to turn him off by acting like I am too excited to see him. It was kind of an automatic reply on my part but I realized how it may have sounded after I sent it. He is coming back in 4 days so I wonder why he said "time for some Lord of the Rings" as if we were going to see each other that same day?? Maybe I'm over-analyzing everything. Your thoughts? Do you think I ruined it? I agree with the other poster that you were a bit naive. If he's a gentleman, he would not go home with you because that would mean sex. He's just being nice and a bit manipulative because he knew you wanted sex and he's just hoping you initiate that which you did. Basically he was literally looking to f**k you but passively does so. There's no shame in having sex with him as long as you enjoyed it and so does he. You've got needs and so does he. He's just being so lucky meeting you I suppose. Don't overanalyze this. He knows he can f**k you anytime cause you loved it, so he may play the hard to get but I think if you insinuate that you want it, he'll cum to you. I would as I had been in a relationship with a girl just like you. The question is this; what sort of relationship do you really want from him? Do you want to be his f**k buddy for awhile or do you see him as a potential boyfriend and future husband? I had met people who f**k the first night and went on to have kids and a happy married life as well as those who did the first and split a few months later like myself one time. Having said that; I agree with the poster.. If he's looking at you as relationship material; wouldn't he wait until he gets to know you better before he sticks his thing inside your hole? I mean, you guys are eventually going to have sex; but have it on something with a loving foundation rather than a lusting sexual desire which unfortunately won't last long after the honeymoon period. Most men know this if they go for it, so sometimes they'll either play along and get as much cum as they could before being dumped or move on to the next hole. Edited November 29, 2013 by happydate
Mascara Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 He didn't say "time for some lord of the rings" as an invite. He meant - you were done being busy and were full of food, you now had time to watch it, seeing as you didn't get to do so last night. Then you responded as if he were asking you to watch it with him. I doubt that'll make him disappear though. Just leave the ball in his court. It wasn't really a text that needed a reply anyway. 2
Author anna477 Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 He didn't say "time for some lord of the rings" as an invite. He meant - you were done being busy and were full of food, you now had time to watch it, seeing as you didn't get to do so last night. Then you responded as if he were asking you to watch it with him. I doubt that'll make him disappear though. Just leave the ball in his court. It wasn't really a text that needed a reply anyway. Shoot I think you are right. OH BOY lol. No wonder he didn't respond after...
Mascara Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 But your reply could also be taken as "yes, that's exactly what I'm going to do, can't wait", so he may have not replied because he thought you were about to watch the film. You could perhaps initiate a conversation tomorrow by sending a SHORT lighthearted text referring to the film, one that shows you watched it, but if he doesn't reply, do NOT send another. 1
Author anna477 Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 But your reply could also be taken as "yes, that's exactly what I'm going to do, can't wait", so he may have not replied because he thought you were about to watch the film. You could perhaps initiate a conversation tomorrow by sending a SHORT lighthearted text referring to the film, one that shows you watched it, but if he doesn't reply, do NOT send another. Perfect. I will do just that
Recommended Posts