Am I doing the right thing for Reconciliation? (Ex-gf came back)

[BottleofHope]

I dated this girl for 2/6 years and then we were drifted a part for a while then she finds someone new and breaks it off with me. I respected her decision and let her go with complete NC. After around a month and a half, she sends emails and Facebook messages to me for a total of 4 days in a row, saying she wants to talk and meet up with me (live in different city) and more with 'it is very important, I am very selfish and I can't talk to anyone except you.

 

The only reply I gave saying if she wanted to clear her room she can send my things to my current address (I've been moving around and she doesn't know any personal contact info, only has social media). Then she sent 4 more letters with the last one being she's coming to xxx soon and asked to meet me. I did not reply and I am not sure if I am playing the right cards.

 

To be honest, there's nothing left to 'talk', the only issue possible was my things but should I reply to her? Asking how she is and such? I did a mistake when she broke up and then came back asking for attention because she felt sick, I gave in totally 100 and she just blew me off to be with the other guy (came back for ego stroke).

 

Any suggestions? I really really do love this girl

[elbe]

Any suggestions? I really really do love this girl

 

I thought I understood until this line. Now I'm as lost as you...

[BottleofHope]

I thought I understood until this line. Now I'm as lost as you...

 

The topic was asking for advice in reconciliation because I love her and want her back. It was both our fault in the relationship but I do believe that both of us went through to realize.

[elbe]

Christ man, if you want her back and you went NC for a while.. the NC worked! Take full advantage just don't be desperate. Talk to her for god sakes. Meet up with her even. No Contact isn't a viable approach to a flourishing relationship.. It's just an emotional breather for headwind.

[strive]

First, never ever use NC to play games. I don't think that's your intention but your "not sure if I am playing the right cards" statement may come close to that.

 

In any of her messages, did she specifically tell you that she wants to get back together with you? Did she even tell you why she wants to urgently talk to you? Because it's either she wants reconciliation or just another ego boost.

 

I think you should ask her why it's so important to talk in person and you can decide from there what to do.

[ks0985]

my ex broke NC with me because she wants to talk, not going to respond or talk it out with her. Sometimes too much has happened to go back. Ask yourself this question. Will you ever be able to fully trust her? Id venture to guess the answer is probably no. Find someone new who has not ****ed with your trust.

[2fargone]

Ask her what the meet should be about. Don't ask her how she is doing and stuff like that.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Christ man, if you want her back and you went NC for a while.. the NC worked! Take full advantage just don't be desperate. Talk to her for god sakes. Meet up with her even. No Contact isn't a viable approach to a flourishing relationship.. It's just an emotional breather for headwind.

 

This statement is so wrong in so many ways.

[BottleofHope]

First, never ever use NC to play games. I don't think that's your intention but your "not sure if I am playing the right cards" statement may come close to that.

 

In any of her messages, did she specifically tell you that she wants to get back together with you? Did she even tell you why she wants to urgently talk to you? Because it's either she wants reconciliation or just another ego boost.

 

I think you should ask her why it's so important to talk in person and you can decide from there what to do.

 

The thing is, none of her messages said that she wants to get back with me, and she keep saying she wants to talk but doesn't really spill out what exactly that's why I'm not sure if I'm playing the cards right because if I do reply and she gets another ego boost she'll be gone again.

 

I asked my friend to check her status and they said she might have broke up with the new boyfriend or they are having a fight. Even if she wants to come back because she was dumped, I'm not going to take her back right away, she's got to get herself straight and deal with the issue of what she really wants.

[fixing]

Be straight to the point and ask her what exactly she wants to talk about. She's still in a relationship? Id tell her to get lost. She left you for someone else.

 

I would not be meeting her in person, unless she is literally begging you for a second chance.

She hasnt indicated anything at all about wanting you back so far. So, tell her 'what do you want to talk about in person? Because im not comfortable meeting up with you for a chat about your bf or other small talk'