a one night stand or a potential love story?

[shahjahan]

This guy and I barely knew each other in university, but a month ago, in a college-friends reunion, we really hit off a good conversation, and basically spent most of the evening talking and laughing. Then, a few weeks later, when I passed on a weekend visit in his home city, suddenly, when I saw him coming to pick me up at the station, I realized I'm done. That's it. I am falling for him and there is no way to stop this. Yes, it was this quick.

 

We spent an evening with his friends, chatting in bars, having fun and drinks until 6 am. I asked him to accompany me home on the metro (since I didn't feel too secure coming home all alone), but he suggested we go over to his place, which is much closer. It felt funny to do it (since we were still only being friendly, and he lives with his parents!), but I decided we definitely have nothing to lose. When we finally got to his room, all we did for at least an hour was just lay facing each other in bed and talking. Then, he grabbed my hand, kissed it, and stared into my eyes for ages. We kept on talking for another hour or so, until he hugged me, and, well, you know the rest. I know it may seem reckless to get intimate so quickly, but sometimes, when you know you have little time to spend with each other, you don't really think twice.

 

The next day, we spent the whole day walking around the city holding hands like teenagers, laughing, joking, enjoying the little time we had together. As he had planned a major family dinner that day, he took me home in the evening. Saying goodbye, I said I did hope it was not just going to be another one-night-stand. He said "It won't!" and promised to come see me in my home city as soon as we get the chance.

 

Since then, we have been in contact, but it has been more scarce than I would have expected, based on experience of my previous relaitonships and hookups. He writes to me every other day, I write to him every other day, and we talk on skype twice a week. When we do, it's really great. I have the impression he loves talking to me (we share similar backgrounds, studies and career paths), asks my opinion about things, talks about his family, friends, and makes plans to do things together. But, on the other hand, I have the impression that most of the time it's me who initiates contact, and it's definitely me who is suffering all the ups and downs of "will he call?". Sometimes, he says he'll be on skype after work, and then he doesn't show up. Me, not wanting to appear clingy, I pretend I'm ok with it, but I'm actually not. But then again, when I asked him for a small favor (checking out the text I wrote in his native language for mistakes), he actually not only did it instantly, but actually really took it seriously, adding tons of suggestions, remarks, and encouragements.

 

My birthday is coming up next week and I had suggested he might want to come over. He did say he'll definitely check the ticket prices but he hasn't confirmed yet whether he actually IS going to come and see me. I do think it's impossible to call this a relationship, since we barely had 24h to spend with each other, but I would really like this to become something more than just a random hookup. And I'm not sure: am I overthinking this? Am I too panicky when he doesn't text/call for a couple of days? Maybe it's ok/standard/normal? If we lived in the same city, and were both less busy, it would of course be much easier. But it's been a long time since I had fallen for someone like this, and I really wouldn't like to waste this opportunity. Is it normal for guys to have such a hands-off approach?

[FitChick]

You should have left him wanting more. Instead you handed it to him on a silver platter and there are no surprises. He can find someone who is closer geographically. Next time keep a little mystery and just say NO.