me85 Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 Just needed some opinions on this. If you guys don't know my story you can go to my profile and read my past threads if you want. Basically, to sum it up, my ex was terrible to me and he said a while back that he isn't worried about me paying him back the $ I owe him (ya because he knew he was a dog and eaten up with guilt I suppose.) I am the type of person to do the right thing but in this case I kind of feel like my friends and family are right…they tell me they wouldn't pay him back one cent after all he's done to me. Thoughts? P.S. He loaned me money before things went sour and I found out he was cheating.
fixing Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 I dont know your story. But if the scumbag turned out to be a cheater. Keep all the money and never contact the prick again. Its a little Karma. Just saying 1
CaliBabe Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 I wouldn't pay back since he said you didn't have to. Also, it would just keep a means of a connection between you two. 1
Author me85 Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 Well that was an easy decision. Thanks you two!
Kizza Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 meh ... he deserves nil nada nothin more from you... he had the most precious thing which was your heart body and soul and crushed that so if you think he will appreciate your repayment then HE WON'T ... Keep your money for yourself.. xx 1
Am4Real Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 Owing money is owing money; cheating is cheating. [highlight]The two are not related whatsoever[/highlight]. Because Bank of America was involved in all sorts of unscrupulous behaviors and became troubled does not let me off from paying my loan to them. Your EX’s cheating ((although scum in itself)) does not limit or forgive your repayment obligations. The words your EX used in saying he is not worried about you paying him back is confusing to read. Did he mean “you’re good for it” and can pay when you want to or did he mean by not worried that you do not EVER have to pay him. I suspect it’s the former or we would not have a basis her to even comment in this thread. 3
Author me85 Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 (edited) Owing money is owing money; cheating is cheating. [highlight]The two are not related whatsoever[/highlight]. Because Bank of America was involved in all sorts of unscrupulous behaviors and became troubled does not let me off from paying my loan to them. Your EX’s cheating ((although scum in itself)) does not limit or forgive your repayment obligations. The words your EX used in saying he is not worried about you paying him back is confusing to read. Did he mean “you’re good for it” and can pay when you want to or did he mean by not worried that you do not EVER have to pay him. I suspect it’s the former or we would not have a basis her to even comment in this thread. No, he told me he didn't want me to pay him back. But like I said, I'm the type of person to pay back anyway. Plus it would make me look all the more awesome and may even make him think, "wow she's one classy girl" ha doubt it. He'd probably use the money I pay him back with to go see his ridiculous out of state rebound or buy her something with it. ERRRR Kill 'em with kindness right? IDK. I did not ask him to borrow it either, he offered. Edited November 29, 2013 by me85
Haydn Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 Buy yourself something nice with his dosh. Get a manicure or a slap up meal. Think of it as his going away present and leaving you free. My ex owes me loads of money but i would never ask for it back, whats done is done. Have fun with the readies! Take care. 1
emi Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 YES YES YES and YES I dont leave business unfinished esp with my ex. The longer you feel like you own him, the slower you can move on. Money aint **** compare to my inner peace so YES u should 1
d0nnivain Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 If you will feel better by paying him back & you can without sacrificing anything, go ahead. However, because he said you don't have to pay him back, I wouldn't. They say when you loan money to friends that you should consider it a gift because if you don't, it will ruin the friendship. In your case, because he was your BF at the time he gave you the money, absent documents to the contrary, you can consider it a gift. 1
Author me85 Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 Hmmm well, now I'm confused again. /=
Buck Turgidson Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 I'm saddened by all the people telling you never to pay it back. Two wrongs don't make a right. You're better than he is. Pay it back. His telling you that he didn't expect it was said in the moment and doesn't change your ethical obligations. The money isn't yours, and you can return it by sticking a check in the mail. That makes you better than he is, rather than stooping to his level. 1
crederer Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 I'd give the money back for the same reasons everyone else has said. You don't want to feel like you owe him anything. Not saying you don't deserve it, or that he deserves it back, but I think it'd be best for you overall to do it. Also, my ex cheated on me, owed me money, but never paid me cause she was upset I broke up with her. She constantly tries to get in contact with me, almost two years later, to "give me my money" which I know is just an excuse for her to contact me. 1
Author me85 Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 How about, I can't right now but will when I am able. All I have to do is deposit it into his bank account. Then email him that I paid him back but ask for him not to respond.
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