jenn78 Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 Hi there, My ex and i have been working on our relationship a lot for the last few months. However, the other day he said he was moving to another city about 10 hours away at the end of december for a job. He then went on to say he won't work on repairing a relationship long distance. WHich i understand it would be hard. But we both agree we have an really intense connection and we understand each other so well. He uses the phrase if its mean't to be it's mean't to be (which i hate because i think you need to work to get what you truly want). He still wants to hangout with me until he leaves. Yes, we can just hangout & not sleep together. Basically, I'm torn at what to do here... Should i start not talking to him now or keep hanging out with him until he leaves... it's going to suck either way but every time i hangout with him now makes me realize how much i love him. My friends and family say that him leaving will finally allow me to get over him but i don't want to and i think it would be a waste to throw away what we have.
Yasuandio Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 I like what your friends are saying - that it is an opportune time to get over him. He hasn't exactly included you in his re-location plans, has he? That says a great deal about his commitment to the relationship. And BTW, good relationships do not require "work." Now, if u choose to hang with him till he leaves, then obviously, sex is only going to cause just you emotional scarring. Cut the cord, listen to your friends - they are the closest observers of this situation - plus, there is the obvious conclusion I pointed out in the second sentence. Yas 1
Author jenn78 Posted November 28, 2013 Author Posted November 28, 2013 i can't move with him due to the fact i'm in college and he needs to move to where he can make the most money in his field. But I understand what you are saying.
Pa76 Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 I think you should stop talking to him now. It'll be harder later to move on if you continue to see him. He never should of came back if he was moving far away.
Author jenn78 Posted November 28, 2013 Author Posted November 28, 2013 i told him he shouldn't have come back if he wasn't serious.. the plus side is we worked through our issues we left unresolved after our break up. It's easier said than done to stop seeing him though. He was my best friend while we dated and he's kinda resumed that role again.
LostConfused123 Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 OUCH!!! I feel for you. . . . . I would suggest going NC to heal and move on, the sooner the better. (SOOOO much easier said than done!!!) Yasuandio is absolutely right....Spending time with him until he leaves will be absolute torture!!!! I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm sure it feels you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Either way is a big fat heartache and that just sucks! NOW, would I be able to do it?????? God, I would hope so!!! ((sending you big HUGS!!))
Armyguy123 Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 you seem like to nice of a girl to let this happen. He's using you for sex and emotional support until he leaves, bc he doesn't want to not have a lack of sex when he moves. Took me 3 months for me to realize my ex gf was trying to use me for the same thing. Use you to get over you? so oxymoronic right. Cut her off, she came back saying she wanted to work on relationship.....just to quit three days before our first date and reconciliation. I blocked her on everything. Its all about their selfish desires. Shows their true nature. It sucks so much to see it in the flesh, I'd been living in denial for a while. If I had to guess. He is nervous about leaving for this new town and new job, and wants you as an emotional sponge and sex when he wants it, then he'll leave when hes done. I got dumped right before she started her new job, and I am being deployed (not overseas thank god) for a year in the Army. Some people...... 2
BC1980 Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 I know it's hard, but go ahead and stop all contact with his. He obviously doesn't see a future and is not committed. The sooner you stop talking to him, the better. It sucks, but you just have to accept it for what it is.
Author jenn78 Posted November 28, 2013 Author Posted November 28, 2013 wow... i very much agree with you. He's going through a bit of a quarter life crisis and wants to talk to me because i'm the one who knows him the best and he feels the most comfortable with me out of anyone he knows (his words not mine).... i know i have to cut it off and then maybe one day he'll figure it out and come after me but right now he wants what is convenient for him.
Armyguy123 Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 wow... i very much agree with you. He's going through a bit of a quarter life crisis and wants to talk to me because i'm the one who knows him the best and he feels the most comfortable with me out of anyone he knows (his words not mine).... i know i have to cut it off and then maybe one day he'll figure it out and come after me but right now he wants what is convenient for him. Literally what happened and was said to me. I am almost at 1 month NC and i have no idea if shes tried to talk to me bc I blocked her. She'll figure out a way to get in contact with me if shes serious, and just doesn't want emotional support for her troubles. Don't be someones emotional tampon when its their time of the month. The quote I've been trying to live by everyday now is; "Don't allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to become their option." -Anonymous I want to frame that at the center of this website or something haha. best of luck to you. youll get through it.
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