headinthecloud Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 With the holiday season here my friends are making plans and brought up my ex in conversation. I thought I was over him... But then today the discussion of the betrayal brought back all those emotions I've fought so hard to overcome. I guess I'm still not over him. Yet don't want him in my life. Then I did a terrible thing and broke NC by searching him on social media ....bad move. It's totally set me back. How is it that he lied to me for all those months and then never owned up to it when I confronted him. I know for a fact he was pursuing another girl while we were together -- needless to say everything else he lied about. I'm starting to wonder if I'm ever going to get over this - its been almost 5 months. The relationship was only 6 months. Seems absurd to me that im not over him. I want zero to do with him, but why do i have a setback like this? Will I ever be over the betrayal?
d0nnivain Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 You will get over it. Everybody heals at a different rate. When I feel like I can't get over, I focus on all the bad. It really helps me to feel better about being apart. 2
Author headinthecloud Posted November 28, 2013 Author Posted November 28, 2013 You will get over it. Everybody heals at a different rate. When I feel like I can't get over, I focus on all the bad. It really helps me to feel better about being apart. Thanks, d0nnivain. There's lots of examples to choose from so I hope it works.
Haydn Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 Hey, keep strong there, remember social media is a killer. If its there then we will use it in our weakest moments. DONT. Block ok! You will come through this. If i can see the light at the end of my own horrific tunnel you can. Keep posting and take care. In my thoughts. Haydn With the holiday season here my friends are making plans and brought up my ex in conversation. I thought I was over him... But then today the discussion of the betrayal brought back all those emotions I've fought so hard to overcome. I guess I'm still not over him. Yet don't want him in my life. Then I did a terrible thing and broke NC by searching him on social media ....bad move. It's totally set me back. How is it that he lied to me for all those months and then never owned up to it when I confronted him. I know for a fact he was pursuing another girl while we were together -- needless to say everything else he lied about. I'm starting to wonder if I'm ever going to get over this - its been almost 5 months. The relationship was only 6 months. Seems absurd to me that im not over him. I want zero to do with him, but why do i have a setback like this? Will I ever be over the betrayal? 2
LostConfused123 Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 With the holiday season here my friends are making plans and brought up my ex in conversation. I thought I was over him... But then today the discussion of the betrayal brought back all those emotions I've fought so hard to overcome. I guess I'm still not over him. Yet don't want him in my life. Then I did a terrible thing and broke NC by searching him on social media ....bad move. It's totally set me back. How is it that he lied to me for all those months and then never owned up to it when I confronted him. I know for a fact he was pursuing another girl while we were together -- needless to say everything else he lied about. I'm starting to wonder if I'm ever going to get over this - its been almost 5 months. The relationship was only 6 months. Seems absurd to me that im not over him. I want zero to do with him, but why do i have a setback like this? Will I ever be over the betrayal? Your feelings are NOT absurd. I too, had a brief relationship and it has been extremely difficult getting over it. I was just reading (here on LS, can't remember what post) that brief relationships are often harder to get over because we were left in the "honeymoon phase" of the relationship. We feel duped. And a bit ripped off that it ended before it really had a chance. Unfortunately, we never really got to the point where we could see their flaws. (which they have, we all do) and in my case we never even had an argument. He was always so nice and we got along so well so I have nothing to be pissed about. It would be easier if I did. Then, when we are on cloud nine, we are suddenly and abruptly dropped on our arses going wtf just happened????? This last brief relationship (the reason I'm here on LS so much) has been much harder for me to get over than the seven year relationship I excited about a year ago. Hang in there.....I know how you feel. They probably did us a HUGE favor. We just don't know it yet 1
Author headinthecloud Posted November 28, 2013 Author Posted November 28, 2013 Hey, keep strong there, remember social media is a killer. If its there then we will use it in our weakest moments. DONT. Block ok! You will come through this. If i can see the light at the end of my own horrific tunnel you can. Keep posting and take care. In my thoughts. Haydn Thank you, Haydn. Your words of hope and encouragement touched my soul and are tremendously helpful. Namaste.
Author headinthecloud Posted November 28, 2013 Author Posted November 28, 2013 Your feelings are NOT absurd. I too, had a brief relationship and it has been extremely difficult getting over it. I was just reading (here on LS, can't remember what post) that brief relationships are often harder to get over because we were left in the "honeymoon phase" of the relationship. We feel duped. And a bit ripped off that it ended before it really had a chance. Unfortunately, we never really got to the point where we could see their flaws. (which they have, we all do) and in my case we never even had an argument. He was always so nice and we got along so well so I have nothing to be pissed about. It would be easier if I did. Then, when we are on cloud nine, we are suddenly and abruptly dropped on our arses going wtf just happened????? This last brief relationship (the reason I'm here on LS so much) has been much harder for me to get over than the seven year relationship I excited about a year ago. Hang in there.....I know how you feel. They probably did us a HUGE favor. We just don't know it yet My mind knows you're absolutely right...they did do us a big favor by letting us go. Thank you, LostConfused123. I'll try to readjust my thinking and let go of judgements. I try to remind myself to be thankful for the experience...easier said than done. 1
Salvatore85 Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 My friend did this to me about a month ago when he told me about my exes new boyfriend while he was on her Facebook page. Mind you I'm a cut and run type, don't tell me anything about her and I don't use social media or ask about her. It sort of pissed me off and he apologized for it the next day and said he deleted her off his Facebook. It sucks but it's just another thing that will help you get over it in the long run. I realized how little it actually ended up bothering me and that made me feel better. 1
Author headinthecloud Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 My friend did this to me about a month ago when he told me about my exes new boyfriend while he was on her Facebook page. Mind you I'm a cut and run type, don't tell me anything about her and I don't use social media or ask about her. It sort of pissed me off and he apologized for it the next day and said he deleted her off his Facebook. It sucks but it's just another thing that will help you get over it in the long run. I realized how little it actually ended up bothering me and that made me feel better. That's a good and loyal friend you have. Thanks, Sal. I hope to be where you are one day soon. Friends mean well, but it still hurts to hear how happy the exes's lives are without you.
Salvatore85 Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 That's a good and loyal friend you have. Thanks, Sal. I hope to be where you are one day soon. Friends mean well, but it still hurts to hear how happy the exes's lives are without you. I mean it hurts to hear but at the same time I want her to be happy. Yes she treated me like crap towards the end but she was my bestfriend for the majority of our relationship and while I wish to have no relationship of any kind with her I still want nothing but the best for her. But while I want nothing but good things for her I definitely don't want to hear or know about it lol. It will get better for you, time does heal all wounds but that doesn't mean you won't hit rough patches on the way to full recovery. You can't punish yourself for having those rough days though, just tough it out and you'll be much stronger and ready for your next relationship when it happens.
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