Viro12 Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 I've had my break up back in August with my ex girlfriend leaving for a coworker. The reason she broke up with me was because of her falling for someone else. In the end she said "You can't solve my work problems, and you can't understand my passion for visual effects." http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/422397-break-up-letter-need-analyzing-i-don-t-know I've now realized how toxic of a relationship I was in. I've wondered why I feel happier and lighter after I got over the initial pain of the break up. I realized that ever since she started working she would come home and tell me about her problems at work. In hindsight, it was really taxing to me. I don't regret listening to her, or didn't like it, but I lost myself, I couldn't be charming, I couldn't be confident and have the energy to pursue other stuff in my life to share with her and help both of us grow. This didn't work out for her as well.. since I associated with her problems. She got disconnected and fed of someone else's happiness.. being her coworkers. To be honest though, I would rather be miserable being there for her than be the happier person I am now. But now I realized that perhaps this break up is a gift. In the end, I guess she didn't appreciate me being there trying to help. Nor empathize about the pain that it would cause me. For that it wasn't love. I guess what I learned is don't place your happiness and problems completely on a person. It will burden you and your partner. Also give while your taking.. give some positiveness in your partner's life. It will help them be that much more durable with the crap they have to put up with. I still miss her lots, but overall I'm a happier person.
Mz_sassy_77 Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 My relationship was like that too. It took so much out of me I never had anything left for anyone else - friends, family, even myself. I think after getting over the initial heartbreak I look back at it and realize how unhappy I really was and how much happier and more content in general I am now. It's always easy once your out of the relationship to realize things like this. I think a lot of people are actually in unhappy relationships because they are comfortable and scared to be on their own. And I understand that but I think it's kind of sad now to think some people waste so many years with someone and are unhappy. Life is short, we should try to be happy as much as possible. 1
Author Viro12 Posted November 28, 2013 Author Posted November 28, 2013 I don't mind being drained, I don't think she did it on purpose. We're all responsible for our happiness. I would have gladly walked this life with her. It's just sad she didn't communicate, and I meant nothing to her. I know she was selfish from the beginning, but I chose to love her because this is who she is.
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