DM5579 Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 My ex and I divorced several years ago and since then we have always worked well together for the sake of the children. It has been a struggle everyday for me because I miss everything about her and our family. It always appeared that she moved on seeing as she strayed which I have forgiven her for many years ago and then she settled quickly into a relationship with someone else and moved into his house. They got engaged and I came to terms with the fact that she truly has moved on. Yes, I have always tried to give her space while reinforcing my feelings for her. Now, In the midst of all of this the tenants in the marital residence which we rented out after the divorce decided to move out and she told me she wanted to desperately go back to a better place. She then broke it off with her fiancée, moved out of his house back into our old residence, and wants us to spend some more time together...Claims she has not been happy and is tired of pretending to be. Yes, she still loves the man she was engaged to but claims she cant move on without doing this for herself and wants to figure things out. I went over and we talked for about 15 mins about how peaceful she looked now that she is home again. I honestly have not seen that smile in years and it captured my heart again. She said she was, thanked me repeatedly for not making the house an issue and we hugged. Now, I wanted to kiss her right then and there but took a deep breath and tearfully said goodbye. I have struggled for years putting on a fake smile and want nothing but her to be happy yet as a father I also want to be happy as well and not go backwards or read into anything. When I play it off as no big deal to everyone who knows how I feel about her they say that it is and the actions she took you don't just take for any reason. I truly love her from the bottom of my heart and yes have always wanted a new beginning, but I know that is beyond my control. While I will remain strong and plaster a fake smile on like I always have should I let go and read into some of this chaos or simply ignore and fake smile it like I always have?
Letgo_ofme Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 I'm not quite sure what you're saying when you said you 'struggle for years putting on a fake smile'. Does something feel wrong/different/uneasy about the relationship? If so, what is it? Is it the communication? Her? The kids? I think with new beginnings also comes a new opportunity to learn to connect with each other. It would be best NOT to fall into old ways. Have you considered going to couples therapy together to ensure that you make the best of this new beginning?
Mcnulty Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 Your feelings haven't changed for her I gather? Have you not tried dating/moving on from her? Take it very easy with her. She still loves the other guy you say? Protect you and acknowledge where you are in your life, how far you have come. Don't tell her how you feel...yet. See how the ground lies for a good while...you don't want to be competing with the ghost of another man.
Author DM5579 Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 I struggle to put a fake smile on my face because it's hard to let go of someone that you love so much and I truly valued and cherished our family. I truly feel deep down she misses it too seeing as we remain very close however do not read into anything. I've learned a lot about myself in these several years and have told her repeatedly I have forgiven the affair (when it comes up) I tell her I don't even want to talk about it and that everyday can be day one however I do not want to over do it seeing as I know she has to want it too. Yes, I'm still in love with her...I've tried dating and it just doesn't feel right so I've accepted life as it is right now...It's me and the kids and that's all that matters but what we had together was so much more. The fake smile helps me remain strong but yes would love to have my family back and more importantly build a life with her.
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