hotpotato Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 It will crush her. I can't imagine it feeling nice knowing you got dumped for someone else. I didn't want to be a cheater though. I've got a clear conscience this way. Sounds like you were having an emotional affair. If you really cared you wouldn't have put yourself in that situation. Anyway, I hope your ex can find peace and also find someone who can cherish her. Have fun with the crazy broad!
pteromom Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 Yeah... Initially I was thinking it might be like that. But things have gotten pretty serious now. I seriously like her a lot. This is the part that concerns me. A girl who shoplifts for fun when she could afford the stuff she is stealing is the same girl who will cheat for fun to see if she can get away with it. Just consider that there is some reason she keeps shoplifting. And that maybe that same reason could play into your relationship with her.
jphcbpa Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 Definitely not bragging. Sex is great but everything is just overwhelming. I'm actually afraid of telling the new girl I want to tone things down. Last time she got really upset. I don't think she's a crazy, but she's become very attached very quickly. She's already told her mum and all her friends we're together. I think that word "together" is worrying since less than a week ago I was still with my ex gf officially. I'm just terrible at confrontation. . stage 5 clinger and she sounds like a sex addict.
hotpotato Posted December 13, 2013 Posted December 13, 2013 Your ex is going to be completely shattered when she finds out about this new girl Yep. I understand wanting to break up, but this is a terrible way to do it. This is why I don't rebound date. People who are unstable can look very attractive.
Mariposa10 Posted December 14, 2013 Posted December 14, 2013 That's a little bit unfair, but I can see where you are coming from. There were a lot of issues with my ex girlfriend. If there weren't, I wouldn't have fallen for someone else. The reason I mentioned the sex is because it really is that incredible. My ex girlfriend never wanted to give blowjobs. This new girl not only enthusiastically asks if I want them, she also wants to swallow too (my ex didn't want me to go down on her either, new gf is happy for me to). She's very energetic in bed, likes taking initiative, and it's just miles away. With my ex every time I wanted to have sex it was just like "ugh, leave me alone, I'm feeling *insert ailment here*". It got old. Yeah... Initially I was thinking it might be like that. But things have gotten pretty serious now. I seriously like her a lot. I realise this is the honeymoon stage though. Every moment with her is just amazing. We do so many cool things together that I never got to with my ex. The chemistry is through the roof. I kinda hoped she would, it would make things a lot easier. But I don't think she will. She's really pretty, but not the type to put herself into situations where she would meet guys. She doesn't know I'm dating this new girl. I'm not sure when/if I should tell her. Today at work I had an odd episode. I got a very vivid image of my ex, and this wave of emotion just crashed over me. I didn't cry... but a few tears rolled down my face. Even now at home I feel like I'm going to break into tears at any minute when I think about her. Getting over someone is really hard... Hmm, why would it make things easier? because you would not feel as guilty? I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. But you reminded me of my selfish prick of an ex. Please, if you do get to talk to your ex when she finds out, don't tell her to date people. My ex told me,"you should date someone. I mean, I wouldn't want you, but I'm dating someone, you should too." I think he was just trying to ease his guilt. If you had waited a little bit longer, you wouldn't have felt the way! Anyway, keep us posted.
Author Eclypse Posted December 17, 2013 Author Posted December 17, 2013 This is the part that concerns me. A girl who shoplifts for fun when she could afford the stuff she is stealing is the same girl who will cheat for fun to see if she can get away with it. Just consider that there is some reason she keeps shoplifting. And that maybe that same reason could play into your relationship with her. Hah, well... this isn't going to sound good. But both of her previous relationships ended with her cheating (the first one was when she cheated with me some years ago). This just keeps getting juicier doesn't it? Sounds like you were having an emotional affair. If you really cared you wouldn't have put yourself in that situation. Anyway, I hope your ex can find peace and also find someone who can cherish her. Have fun with the crazy broad! As cliched as it sounds, it just kinda happened. We just began talking more and more... and then it became more and more personal. Integrity was something I always prided myself on in the past. I had a slip up, but I feel I did the right thing. I certainly don't paint myself with the same brush as all the threads on the infidelity forum. Those are affairs that go for years with the intention of decieving someone. I had a brief EA yes... but I ended my current relationship. She does deserve to be with someone great. I hope that works out. I think the lesson is not to wait this long next time before you break up but to leave when you think the relationship can't be fixed. Yes that's definitely true. I was naive and it was my first relationship. I put up with a lot more than I probably should have. But I'll look at it as a learning experience. Hmmm... Today wasn't a good day. I decided to call my ex and see how she was. As soon as I heard her voice something in me just crumbled. I just completely broke down and began sobbing. I hardly ever cry! Yet I not only cried for the duration of the phone call, but also this whole evening afterwards. I don't know why, but it just hit me. This overwhelming wave of emotion. I realised how much I missed her, and the great times we had together. It's just not possible to get over someone you've spent that amount of time with quickly. I thought things would be easier once I broke up with her. They just got more and more complicated. Of course it's all my fault, as I broke up with her to be with someone else. She was a bit short with me, and understandably so, since I ripped her heart out. It looks like we won't be able to remain friends. That's really sad for me because we were a part of each other's lives for so long. It would just be a shame to throw it away...
Emilia Posted December 17, 2013 Posted December 17, 2013 Hmmm... Today wasn't a good day. I decided to call my ex and see how she was. As soon as I heard her voice something in me just crumbled. I just completely broke down and began sobbing. I hardly ever cry! Yet I not only cried for the duration of the phone call, but also this whole evening afterwards. I don't know why, but it just hit me. This overwhelming wave of emotion. I realised how much I missed her, and the great times we had together. It's just not possible to get over someone you've spent that amount of time with quickly. I thought things would be easier once I broke up with her. They just got more and more complicated. Of course it's all my fault, as I broke up with her to be with someone else. She was a bit short with me, and understandably so, since I ripped her heart out. It looks like we won't be able to remain friends. That's really sad for me because we were a part of each other's lives for so long. It would just be a shame to throw it away... It took me years to get over my marriage, even though I wanted to separate for a long time. I stayed with him for probably 2 years longer than I should have. I'm still sad occasionally because it feels like a loss of innocence. We were both very young and it felt like him and I against the world, walking into the sunset and all that crap. I think of it less and less now but occasionally still grieve for that.
veggirl Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 (edited) Now that you know how emotional you still are and that you can't get over a 4 yr relationship by dating a klepto "bad girl"....do you think perhaps it's time to be single? It's very strange that you basically just giggle about the fact that this chick is a cheater, full of mental issues, a thief, and a whole slew of other things. Edited December 18, 2013 by veggirl 1
Cinnimon Posted December 18, 2013 Posted December 18, 2013 In the end she will use this "When she said "I love you" I was thrown off guard, so I didn't respond. She pressed me on it and I said it back." as a lethal weapon !!!
Author Eclypse Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 Thought I'd post an update. Things have been going pretty good. The more time I spend with this girl the more I realise and come to accept that this was a good move. My ex wasn't half the fun of this girl. We've actually been doing things and going away on trips and stuff. It's just so darned easy to talk to her. It's a lot more than sex. My family has met her and they all love her. I've never felt this way toward anyone before. It literally feels like everything is perfect now. We've been spending a lot of time together and sleeping over at each others places. Waking up next to her is incredible, and it's something I never got to experience with my ex. If I had stayed with her life would have just left me behind. Now I feel like I have a companion who I can actually share everything with... and plus I have never seen a girl so into me. It's such a nice feeling. We even went to a sex store a few days ago to purchase some "goodies". This is living!
Phantom888 Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 You are moving fast, and you don't really know what you want. You need to be single for a year or two and really self-reflect. You are gonna be bored with this new girl eventually when the sex becomes old. Then the cycle starts again.
shinealight Posted December 27, 2013 Posted December 27, 2013 I am going throo the same situation as you except you got what you wanted and i wish you all the best. Me on the other hand is the most miserable bloke you will of ever met. And i have to learn to accept this women clearly does not feel the same way about me and i just have to try and move on . Try and not move to fast like these people are saying tho.
mortensorchid Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 Guy, I don't mind telling you that you have really, really REALLY screwed up. Nothing makes me more angry than seeing or hearing about a man who broke up with their girlfriend of many years and then regret it, or pick up with a rebound woman right after and then are completely "in love" with the next one. NOTHING. If you are smart, I would strongly recommend that you break things off ASAP with the new woman before you hurt her any more than you already have or might. The reason she jumped into it with you is that she probably admired you from afar for a while without your knowing until just now. You said so yourself that what is so hot about her is the sex, that she is only the second woman you've ever had sex with, and that it was boring with your now ex girlfriend. BIG RED FLAG. You are inexperienced and feel that you have missed out on other things in the world because your ex gf and this woman are the only two women you have ever had sex with EVER. The sex is good? Well, good/great sex is only going to go so far. Remember, you don't know this person at all. Others reading about her on this forum don't know either. She could be a stripper, and if so we would all be shouting "RUN!!!" as fast as you can. As for your former gf, I am sorry to say that you have broken it indefinitely with her. Once you have broken it, it cannot be put back together again as it was before. You regret it. Do you really or do you know deep within that you are not right for one another? It sounds like you are suddenly missing the comfort she offered you, and that is scary, but remember you made this choice. If you are worth your salt, you will stand by this decision and not back peddle. I sound harsh and scolding in this, I realize. But there is nothing that makes me more angry than guys who do things like this. Know how many men I have dated in the past who dumped me whether we had been together for a few weeks or a few years claiming some stupid or lame reason, then badabing bataboom they marry the next one who comes along? I can only imagine what is going on in those marriages, one was so abusive it lasted only 3 years on paper (roughly a year face to face before she moved to another state). Think of the consequences of your actions, guy. It WILL come back and bite you.
panoramicview Posted December 28, 2013 Posted December 28, 2013 (edited) Just 10 days ago you were torn up over your ex....10 days! And now you are claiming that you are head over heels for this girl. A woman who does not respect herself enough to wait until your previous relationship was over before sinking her teeth into you, claimed she loved you almost instantly, and has a history of cheating. You've left one bad relationship for one that seems unhealthy as well. Also, I believe you are so taken by this woman because you felt neglected in your last relationship. Your new gf enjoys sex with you, goes out with you, she's fun...and I think that's all great, but things are moving at warp speed. As I said before, ten days ago you were balling over your ex, and now you are introducing a new woman to your parents. You've got to sit down and process what is happening. I'm not here to judge or bash. I'm making an observation based on facts that have been presented. Your current gf exhibits symptoms of "love addiction." Read up on it a bit. Edited December 28, 2013 by panoramicview
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