robbysurfs Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 I was dating someone in 2012 it got hot and heavy fast and was bumpy needless to say she dumped me at the end. We began the on and off thing and then finally it was just a sex thing. I thought maybe we were gonna get back together but she did start to treat me badly and was cold and not really to nice. One day I left her apt. after spending the night and she did not call me and I have to admit I did not call her. I left it in her court because she was always at this point initiating the contact. I thought if I played it cool and no pressure and really tried we would get back together.She was going away for the summer and I thought that maybe I would hear from her sooner or later well prayed I would. It has been 7months just like that nc and no closure. I still think of her everyday I still miss her some days are better then others. It has been hard to date and even tho we only were together a year it was special and we connected on some levels. I am not crazy I know we did. There was a lot of passion and In the beginning she dropped the l-bomb on me first and really sold me on the idea of us. It is hard to have love and lost I am still hurt in my heart and It has been hard to let go. I am not the type of guy to open up that easily and this is why. I am 37 yrs old getting older dating is soooo hard and I am bummed out guys and ashamed that this still bothers me...
ariesgirl-328 Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 It's normal to think about the person everyday, all the time, atleast it is for me. I've been broken up for 7 months, was in LC for 5 months, and now only NC for about 2, and I think about him 24/7. But I've learned to deal with it. I promise it gets easier if you just LET GO. Just sit down once, on the floor of your shower with hot water running, and let your tears and pain out, until your tears run out, and then it will get better. When I finally decided it was time to let go, I sat down one day, cried in the shower, let it all out, and my mind just went silent in a weird, calm way. I think it happens to everyone when you finally give up and tell yourself they won't come back so it's time to love yourself and find someone worth you. 1
LostConfused123 Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 It takes as long as it takes. I don't think it's so weird you still hurt after 7 months, especially with the kind of passion and connection you seem to have had. Just keep moving forward, that's about all you can do at this point. Sorry for your pain!!! I know, it REALLY sucks!! ((hugs))
acidios Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 bro clear your head,dont think about her,keep nc and take little steps dont rush. im 32 and i know its hard to date when years pass, i feel tired in the thinking of dating right now..but is something that you and me will do its the nature of things. just focus on your self and only you right now,dont think you age and dont be ashamed.write here enything that hunt your mind we all face our demons and here we all fight together.
RespectfullyAlone Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 I was dating someone in 2012 it got hot and heavy fast and was bumpy needless to say she dumped me at the end. We began the on and off thing and then finally it was just a sex thing. I thought maybe we were gonna get back together but she did start to treat me badly and was cold and not really to nice. One day I left her apt. after spending the night and she did not call me and I have to admit I did not call her. I left it in her court because she was always at this point initiating the contact. I thought if I played it cool and no pressure and really tried we would get back together.She was going away for the summer and I thought that maybe I would hear from her sooner or later well prayed I would. It has been 7months just like that nc and no closure. I still think of her everyday I still miss her some days are better then others. It has been hard to date and even tho we only were together a year it was special and we connected on some levels. I am not crazy I know we did. There was a lot of passion and In the beginning she dropped the l-bomb on me first and really sold me on the idea of us. It is hard to have love and lost I am still hurt in my heart and It has been hard to let go. I am not the type of guy to open up that easily and this is why. I am 37 yrs old getting older dating is soooo hard and I am bummed out guys and ashamed that this still bothers me... I feel everything you feel. I'm hitting 39 this year soon and yes it is harder to date as you get older. Through in the added pressure of ALL your friends and family all being married and having had kids years ago and it just gets worse. I'm in my 11month of NC and 11.5 since the BU. There are some days I am simply dying hoping I will hear from her at some point, and others where I am so mad and angry I shut off the entire world and am just by myself. I've gone through so many breakups that I'm at the point where I've given up. I realized no matter how good, great, charming, loving, forgiving, supportive, no matter how I was with my partners, they all just pissed of me and had secret relationships going on the side. Yet they had all said they "loved" me first. My most recent ex said it quite quickly. But I went with the flow as I as feeling it too, but hadn't said it yet. And the like that she's gone and with this other guy, meeting his family within a week and half jokingly saying there better be a ring on it soon! F her. I don't know how to help you as I cannot help myself. I'm still hurting so much and I think this incident has brought out all the hurt from all my past relationships.
RDawg Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 Ja seven months and still hurting is not abnormal. My previous breakup it took me ages to get better. It was the first time I was really in love. I am 42 and I hope my current break up recovery goes better having already experienced it before. This time the relationship was more serious, bought a house and everything so who knows, it might be worse this time around for me. Also ready to give up on love but I know it wont stop me from trying again in the future. We never learn..
cavalier99 Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 (edited) Stay the course. Youll eventully get tired of it all and have 1 last cry and it will be over. Youll give up the fight and let go. Your doing fine. Just dont break NC. Time has a sneaky way of healing us. Soon it we be so far in the past you wont be able to do anything else but recover. This is assuming you dont find out anything about her and delay the process. Some times i think our recoveries are like some sorta comple process making a wine. It is very delicate process and many thing can mess it up. NC is like that. If you find out something about your EX it really screws things up. However if you can stick to PURE NC you will come out the other side relativly quickly. And once it done it is done. Emotional bonds severed..forever. Once indifferent it is really hard to go back to being messed up. Cav Edited November 28, 2013 by cavalier99 1
RDawg Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 Thanks Cav, good to hear from you old timers who made it to the other side. Geez I can't wait to get over this. 1
Author robbysurfs Posted November 28, 2013 Author Posted November 28, 2013 Thanks for the replies I will remain nc I feel better today its thanksgiving and I have so much to be greatful for. Sometimes when I am alone on late nights and its just me and my thoughts the glass half empty rob comes out to play. Good luck to all of you guys that share this hurt. I been down this road before and each time I feel like I am gonna die. Well, maybe we die a little bit hahahaha! I wish I could cry this all out maybe one day I will...anyhow ty for the support 2
Recommended Posts