sunflower11 Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 Ok so I posted a couple days ago my story, basically I broke up with my bf 4 months ago, he wasn't good to me and you could even say he was abusive and manipulative. he kept insisting we should be friends, he didn't want to lose me, still cared about me bla bla..so we kept this "ex with benefits" relationship going for 4 months after the break up until i found out he has been seeing other girls and it crushed me even though we weren't a couple anymore i still felt cheated on, told him he should have said something to me or he shouldn't have been dragging my feelings along when he knew I still loved him and wanted to be back with him and he had clearly moved on behind my back. I have been NC for 2 weeks now and feeling so so about it, i have my moments when i miss him terribly and want to go back to him, but in the 4 months after the break up (we had a 5 month relationship) he never mentioned he loved me or hinted at us getting back together, so I have no reason to believe he will even look for me now that he has someone else and has moved on. Anyway, back to the point, I live abroad and i am part of this website with other foreigners who get together and do networking and other social activities. this guy messaged me and we talked for a bit, he said he would like to meet me in person so we agreed on dinner tonight. I am not saying I am about to jump into another relationship, cause i know its just dinner and i need to take small steps to start moving on with my life, after all, i broke up with my ex 4 months ago already, I just cannot help but feel like maybe i am not ready to get out there just yet? I feel like I am panicking just thinking about going out and meeting other people...like my heart is screaming with pain still about my ex but my mind knows its time to move on and let him go. So what do you guys think? by putting yourself out there and meeting people you feel more ready to move on even if you kind of have to force yourself to get out there in the beginning? or do you give yourself alone time before you even decide to go out for coffee/dinner with someone new? i just want to feel like my life is moving on, so personally i feel i need to kind of force myself out there again or else i will end up consumed by this breakup and feeling depressed that my ex moved on and I'm still here crying over him
acidios Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 (edited) go with the flow if you feel that you want to cry,cry dont hold your emotions but also dont push your self for something that you are not ready to face. you ex moved end of story its all about you.its all about to make your self ready for the next step. date this guy have a good time but dont talk about relationships.if you have a good time,if he is ok repeat the date blablabla you know how it goes.1 step each time. just think about it if you rush things,if you are not ready,you will do bad on yourself and maybe you will do bad also in a guy that feels something for you. i will tell you something about me now maybe it will help you maybe not but take it as example.im a nice looking guy i dont have economical problems i got a convertible car i can enytime i want go on a "hunt" for new girl. heck i even got girls that talk me on fb and want to meet me.but in not ready i got my ex on my mind i cant look another girl i cant move on im not ready.yes maybe if i sleep with another woman i will feel good but i will hurt that girl cos she will expect something from me and i cant give her enything right now,i woke up every morning and im searching my ex its mad its wierd but thats how it goes.dont rush enything take little steps Edited November 28, 2013 by acidios
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