Author theothersully Posted November 28, 2013 Author Posted November 28, 2013 The problem I see with the text situation is that I'm pretty sure that she's ignorant about these business practices and has no idea that you monitor the texts. She may or may not realize that you COULD, but I think she doesn't know that you DO. I think ethically you need to make clear to her that part of your job is monitoring texts on the company phones, and you do in fact do this. Then it's up to her if she wants to keep using the phones for personal business. Right. We don't tell anyone about the phone situation. I think I will make sure she has a new personal phone ASAP. It just kind of happened and was interesting to see. I'm not sure I'm comfortable seeing everything going on.... like any really private stuff. 1
Phoe Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 But... i am posting here just to share this interesting twist. Imagine if we all saw what people we are dating were doing. I'm sure there are a lot more hookups going on than we think. I don't know.... I don't engage in that kind of behavior, and if I were dating someone, I'd hold that person to the same standard that I hold myself. I really don't think it's asking much to expect that if you're dating someone that they're not going around doinking others every couple of days. The idea doesn't sit well with me. Different strokes for different folks, but I think from your posts it's bothering you more than you will admit. More than you will admit to us and even to yourself.
Author theothersully Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 I don't know.... I don't engage in that kind of behavior, and if I were dating someone, I'd hold that person to the same standard that I hold myself. I really don't think it's asking much to expect that if you're dating someone that they're not going around doinking others every couple of days. The idea doesn't sit well with me. Different strokes for different folks, but I think from your posts it's bothering you more than you will admit. More than you will admit to us and even to yourself. I know she's a little risque... but it bothers the ego more than anything. If I saw a future with her, I'd be very upset, but I know it's just for fun/now and can't work in the long run, so my pride is hurt, not my heart. Still, I have to agree... a few days between doinkings would be nicer.... ha ha ha
nomadic_butterfly Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 Its all fine and dandy to monitor someones phone but what if you find out she is bitch about your behind your back? What are you going to do then? Confront her, call her boss? Except you can't because nobody is supposed to know that you are monitoring her phone. Catch-22. How is she a "b" and how is this "behind his back?" The both as FULLY INFORMED ADULTS decided to have NSA rendezvous. It's so annoying how men these days lack respect for women and throw around the "b" word on frivolous grounds. If he doesn't like her banging other dudes he should try to make it official. IF not, it is none of his business what she does, she made no commitment to him. You are disrespectful and ridiculous. He looked for trouble and it found it. It's creepy how he is intruding her privacy. Everyone isn't cut out for FWB b/c eventually one party develops feelings which seems to be the case here.
Debanked Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 OP's behavior is unethical and immoral. Karma is a B.
Author theothersully Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 Yup... that was the case. I have to bail on her, not because of this guy she was banging, but because of the 3rd guy this week she was banging and the fact that she told me she broke up with some dude, but he showed up on her facebook as spending Thanksgiving weekend with her and her family. I'm totally good with sexually liberated women, but this is gross, even to me.
Author theothersully Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 OP's behavior is unethical and immoral. Karma is a B. So.... lying to and sleeping with 3 guys in a week is ok, but me happening to see some texts on a corporate phone I own is unethical and immoral? lolololol Fwiw, I had her get a new phone already.
Iguanna Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 So.... lying to and sleeping with 3 guys in a week is ok, but me happening to see some texts on a corporate phone I own is unethical and immoral? I thought you had accepted she is a sexually liberated woman and you got mad at me for calling her a slut. Are you starting to come to my side? I'm joking. You got to work your issues with yourself and with women. I think me and Emilia gave you a good perspective already.
Author theothersully Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 I thought you had accepted she is a sexually liberated woman and you got mad at me for calling her a slut. Are you starting to come to my side? I'm joking. You got to work your issues with yourself and with women. I think me and Emilia gave you a good perspective already. You did. And thanks. Just addressing that jab at me by the other poster. (not taking their bs) Ultimately, I do respect her right to be a sexually liberated woman. However, I have a huge problem with people who lie, use and manipulate others. It's clear that is what she did to the guy from Miami. That grosses me out. She told me they broke up, she moved out, etc. So, she lied to me as well. Gross.
nomadic_butterfly Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 You did. And thanks. Just addressing that jab at me by the other poster. (not taking their bs) Ultimately, I do respect her right to be a sexually liberated woman. However, I have a huge problem with people who lie, use and manipulate others. It's clear that is what she did to the guy from Miami. That grosses me out. She told me they broke up, she moved out, etc. So, she lied to me as well. Gross. Why do you care? A completely unattached person just trying to get laid couldn't give two shets about what their FWB partner is doing unless it was discussed that you would exclusively bone each other. LOL. I don't think you are built for FWB situations AT ALL. You broke all the rules and care entirely too much. So much that you are stalking her phone and posting about her. Your feelings run deeper than you care to admit.
RedRobin Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 (edited) It's not bothering me, other than wishing a couple days between... ha ha ha And I would appreciate you not calling her a slut, thank you. She is sexually liberated. There is nothing wrong with her doing whatever she wants. We are not committed. Even if we were, I'd be fine with an open relationship. I was in an open marriage for a while, so if that can work, I'm sure this is no big deal. It's not an open relationship if you are sneaking around... and if memory serves, your marriage ended. Tell us how that open relationship thingy 'worked' again?? Edited November 30, 2013 by RedRobin
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