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Posted (edited)

Hey i was just thinking after a break up when woman say ' i love you just not in love' or 'i still want to be your friend' and all that, do they actually mean it? & After the break up do they miss the relationship at all or are upset of THEY ended it? or have any remorse at times?

 

If so share your story here please i'm curious or your point of view from after ending a relationship.

Edited by LoveBoat242
Posted

I have said "I love you, not in love" and yes, I meant it.

 

Didn't have any romantic feelings anymore but cared about him deeply (and still do) but only as a friend. I wish him nothing but the best and hope he finds a great woman. We were just not compatible as a couple anymore.

  • Like 1
Posted

I think any time someone is "truly" in love with another, it hurts no matter who did the breaking up. I also believe that you will always remember and care for that person. It just sometimes isn't the compatible kind of love for one or the other.

 

And yes I believe they have remorse and even miss the relationship at times. Hurt sometimes clouds out judgment and causes us to act in ways that seem out of character. It's mostly normal reactions though.

 

The hardest thing to do is stay strong and give the other person time to heal if you truly love that person and know you have no future togther as a couple. JMO

Posted

I think most people who say that line mean it- whether male or female

 

I do think for some its a valid thing, they view the person as a close friend- nothing more

 

But i think for others they confuse love with the animal chemistry of the first year or two together..

Posted

The problem is, people use "in love" for so many things.

 

It's just ambiguous. If you don't feel chemistry or attraction anymore (ie, "we're more like friends now"), that could be worked on if both people were willing. Hell, being in a LTR with someone you see as your best friend is the best and most stable kind of relationship - passion will wax and wane, but can be maintained/reignited.

 

Some people think of "in love" as seeing a future with someone. That lies heavily on compatibility and there's only so much you can do.

 

Either way, more often than not...that's a quitting phrase. No matter the gender of the person saying it, it usually means that they're either done trying or never wanted to. Some people know when to cut their losses. Others expect relationships to "just happen naturally" with no effort or work (the "I'll just feel it" approach).

 

There's usually no coming back from that. Even if there were feelings or compatibility - we humans are just TOO good at believing our own BS.

  • Like 1
Posted
The problem is, people use "in love" for so many things.

 

It's just ambiguous. If you don't feel chemistry or attraction anymore (ie, "we're more like friends now"), that could be worked on if both people were willing. Hell, being in a LTR with someone you see as your best friend is the best and most stable kind of relationship - passion will wax and wane, but can be maintained/reignited.

 

Some people think of "in love" as seeing a future with someone. That lies heavily on compatibility and there's only so much you can do.

 

Either way, more often than not...that's a quitting phrase. No matter the gender of the person saying it, it usually means that they're either done trying or never wanted to. Some people know when to cut their losses. Others expect relationships to "just happen naturally" with no effort or work (the "I'll just feel it" approach).

 

There's usually no coming back from that. Even if there were feelings or compatibility - we humans are just TOO good at believing our own BS.

 

EXACTLY!

Your posts are worth gold Pfenixphire.

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