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How to discuss/create boundaries in a relationship?


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Posted

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 months now, and we have not yet discussed boundaries in regards to relationships with the opposite sex. I don't know much about his female friends, and likewise he doesn't know much about my male friends either. He knows I speak to my ex, and he is okay with that, as he believe it is okay for us to speak to people who like us/have liked us in the past as long as they are aware of the fact that we are dating someone. But this is as far as we've gotten in discussing 'other' people.

 

I don't know where and how to start with this. I feel like we both avoid discussing this matter because we don't want to "interfere" in each other's lives. But since we are exclusive, I think we should have some sort of discussion in regards to this, yes? Can I just get some tips on where to start, and what to say. Thanks.

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Posted

i think its really appropriate if you are exclusive and have opposite sex friends to discuss boundaries that cannot be breached without causing problems.....i think any sort of sexual discussions going out with friends at night need to be talked about and boundaries certified......if the conversation is extensive then .....future relationships are defined and you knwo where trouble might start and you nip it in the bud.....deb.....

Posted

Where do you want to draw the boundaries? You have to start there.

 

Are you & your BF exclusive? If so I'd start there. If you aren't, you can't make demands about how the other person spends their free time.

 

I'd open with a statement about how you interact with your opposite sex friends. Ask how he interacts with his. Ask if he's OK with the boundaries you set up for yourself. Talk to him about how you feel about his boundaries. Just talk.

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