Jennig Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 (edited) (sorry about the spelling error above- err!) Ive been on & off with this one guy for a year now, & hes done nothing but lie to me since month 1, aka "pathological liar". He lies to me and everyone around him about stupid crap (including his 1st ex-wife who Ive become friends with). We are both 39, & he was in the middle of a 2nd divorce (the divorce was ongoing for 2 yrs). He is now divorced. I would do anything for him & he KNOWS that. I think he takes advantage of it. He tries to use the excuse "it scares me because noone has ever treated me as well as you do & I never thought that someone could actually care about me as much as you do". I think at this point, its a cop-out. Ive been married once before & I can honestly say Ive never had such strong feelings for someone as I do for him. The sex is incredible & passionate. When we are together (which is hardly ever) we have the best time... we talk for hours, laugh.. we have a lot in common... but once he leaves my house, its like he "checks out". He NEVER calls me. His means of communication is texting, which is rare. We all know the phrase "he's just not that into you" .. yea, that sums it up. But when I say this to him, he just says (via text) "I do". But, whenever I ask him why he doesnt walk away, he says "if I wanted to, I would". We have broken up before (twice). But then always found our way back to each other (like now). The second time we got back together, he came back to me, full force! Promises promises. That lasted about 4 weeks. We broke up again, but continued to talk (ocassionally). Now, he said that he thinks we can work again? What does this mean? But he still rarely texts me (Im lucky if its a few times a week with NO phone calls- EVER!!). Sex is amazing on both sides & people have said "well hes in it for the sex". Not true. Because there have been times where he has come over (when we were not exclusive, but "talking") & he would turn me down for sex. Makes no sense. He will ignore my texts at times, & when I say to him WTF? He texts back "busy" (YUP - we all know we've heard that line before) or he just wont respond, & Im talking when we ARE dating each other. If you care about someone, you find time. When I ask him to get together, his initaial first response is ALWAYS " idk". Then he tells me he has his kids (lie), or he has bowling league (lie), or he has to work late (lie) ...(yes all of these lies have been proven. He still keeps me on this string, & will tell me last minute, and dumb ass me will wait (hey at least I admit Im an idiot). As much as we have in common, we are total opposite.. I am more like someone who stepped out of a Marie Claire magazine & he stepped out of a fishing/ trucking catalog .. catch my drift? So.... what the HELL is MY problem? Why cant I walk away? I love him deeply... but the lies, the manipulation.. blowing me off. I texted him at noon today and said hello, no response... its 4pm. Can someone, ANYONE please help. What the hell is MY problem? Why cant I walk away? This IS clearly a problem. Im sick of crying myself to sleep every night. Thanks for listening.... Edited November 27, 2013 by Jennig
Janesays Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 You're not 'in love' with him as much as you are 'in hate' with yourself. People that accept this treatment believe they don't deserve more. Until you improve your self esteem, you will always go after guys like this. 7
todreaminblue Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 just watched this trailer for enders game looks awesome i gonna go see it now i have to choose the guy to take me ...sorry tangent.... sounds liek to me a push pull situation.....he pulls you close with the dreaded breadcrumb trail of affection and then pushes you away when he isnt around you....you need to clarify your relationship dont text call instead ....texting is better when you arent in a relationship with the person....i dont understand loads of texts......my ex when we were ldr....would only ever call which we did quite a few times a day even fi it was to say hey just thinking of ya luv ya......miss ya......talk to you soon....we could have texted that, we preferred to build voice time and my ex still prefers to call than text...........a guy i am seeing at the moment said to em he prefers to just text rather than have my home phone number to me thats a bit sus......we shall see.......i am not good with texts....to me they can be cold i try to warm them up with humor but still doesnt come across as well when i speak.......i like to hear smiles dont you?.....talk to him about communication and tell him what you like and what you you find hard to deal with....then work on a compromise to suit both....i wish you well...hope it works out...dont put up with ignorance it will build insecurity in you ....when you should feel happy and confident ......deb
Author Jennig Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 Hi Ladies.. I have tried to talk to him about having a NON TEXTING relationship .. he says "yea.. I know.. OK" .. Itll last about a week.. IF that.. and it just goes back to texting.. maybe a few times a week, and Im always the initiator! Not HIM.. Ive always had self esteem until I met him. When my ex husband left me for someone else, I didnt even text or call him when he called me on the phone to tell me he wanted a divorce (he lived in Florida - LOL). I dated someone for 3.5 years who treated me like crap and I said enough was enough. But for whatever reason, I can NOT let this one go. I just have these feelings that I swear Ive never had before... but he treats me crappier than Ive ever been treated.... yet I still do nice things for him? I hate it. I hate myself for it. I cry all the time. I want it to stop and I dont know how. 1
Blade96 Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 (edited) He`s displaying sociopathic behavior. You can`t walk away at first and it takes several times before you actually do walk away because they get you hooked. Believe me I know. I was in a relationship with one. See an old topic of mine from 2010 and you`ll get the idea. try this for information. Look up Psychopath Free articles on the net. http://psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com/2011/11/15/the-psychopaths-hook-love-bombing-sex-and-flattery/ Edited November 28, 2013 by Blade96
nomadic_butterfly Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 Hi Ladies.. I have tried to talk to him about having a NON TEXTING relationship .. he says "yea.. I know.. OK" .. Itll last about a week.. IF that.. and it just goes back to texting.. maybe a few times a week, and Im always the initiator! Not HIM.. Ive always had self esteem until I met him. When my ex husband left me for someone else, I didnt even text or call him when he called me on the phone to tell me he wanted a divorce (he lived in Florida - LOL). I dated someone for 3.5 years who treated me like crap and I said enough was enough. But for whatever reason, I can NOT let this one go. I just have these feelings that I swear Ive never had before... but he treats me crappier than Ive ever been treated.... yet I still do nice things for him? I hate it. I hate myself for it. I cry all the time. I want it to stop and I dont know how. Ok, but what all of this boils down to is one simple question: what do you plan to do about it? The ball is in your court to make a change and move on unless you enjoy this game and emotional anguish. When I was 18 I dated a pathological liar and emotional manipulator. I'd catch him in every lie and he would still continue. Whenever I dumped him he would starve himself and call my mom crying and she would tell me I shouldn't be so hard on him and I'd take him back. We broke up every week literally and the drama was an emotional high. I chose to be in functional relationships thereafter. Up to you now. No one can make that call for you. You have all the facts but are dragging your feet with the execution of the inevitable. Leave these situations for the teens and young adults and conduct yourself as a rational, mature adult.
Blade96 Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 When I dumped my sociopath he threatenedto kill himself and have the kitten killed that we adopted. It took several times before i could finally get away for good That was late sept 2010. And then I came here, to share my story. I have my Russian crush now. He doesn`t lovebomb, he doesn`t do any of these things except for flirting. It took him until we knew each other nearly a month before he could even give me a compliment. He's quite gentle and patient. Since that I have learned about how common it is - something like 1 out of every 25 people has some of it sociopathic tendencies. I'm glad I learned about it, I just wish I hadn't learned about it so - directly. I am lucky that it was only a 5 month relationship. Some people spend years with them and even have kids with them. Ouch.
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 You have to understand that from a man's point of view ladies...this whole process and the amount of things you go through for a man makes you look like a complete brain-dead fool, as if the lights are on but nobody is home. How do you even let yourself think so little and so lowly of yourself that you would actually chase a man thinking this is "love"? on what planet does this sound like love to anyone? I cannot fathom the methods you use to derive such motivation after these men kick you in the face and stomp your heart in the dirt, over and over and over again...and then they clearly are lying, they're clearing playing with your feelings and don't have a lot of respect for you and could care less about your needs and yet...there you are, because why? all it takes is for some guy to say a few sweet words and give 10 percent of himself while with you and you'll think it's the most amazing thing ever....HA! Do you realize how little these men actually care? of course not...they don't, they're using you, they don't care...they tell you what you want to hear because you're sitting there like an anxious puppy waiting for the smallest bone. You're expendable to them, but they'll never tell that to your face...because why would a man throw a toy away that he can use at will? why not keep you around? it's so easy, it takes hardly any effort...you have a vagina and this bleeding heart and open arms whenever he needs you....you're like a motel in the middle of the desert for when men want to get away from their world and personal lives, just so men can recollect themselves then go back into the fray...and guess what, like a fool you're always out there in the middle of nowhere just waiting....waiting, for his call. You have no self-respect and no self-esteem, and men therefore treat you accordingly to how you treat yourself...you act like a doormat, you get treated like one and men push the boundaries to see how foolish you are and how far they can go...and I don't know what posses you to believe that these men are going to choose you in the end, that's a complete joke because these men as much as they tell you how special you are and how much they need you at the end of the day they don't respect you...and the way they treat you, their behavior tells you so....but women get all "confused" over dumb shet looking for irrelevant answers and talking to other women who have no clue about men trying to "figure it out"....there's nothing to figure out! they're using you! what's it going to take for you to see? does he need to drive over you with asphalt trucks with the big solid round thing on the front just to squeeze everything out of you before you get it? And you can't walk away....that just makes you look even more pathetic, it just shows the man how far and how low you think of yourself. You treat yourself like nothing, you call this whole situation "love"....good god really? you're going to go as far as call that "love"? wtf is wrong with you...how about mental issues? how about that instead? you know why your experience is amazing, because the man is never around! you don't even see the man for who or what he really is, you build this ridiculous fantasy in your head that's about as real as a ufo flying above your house...then you think because it's so "intense and amazing" you think that he really gives a damn about you or really cares, it's all in your head...that guy isn't going to stick around or care, you just provide a role in his life that is expendable and replaceable and here you are waiting like a little girl by the front door with your bags waiting for daddy to come pick you up and take you home...you just stand there in your little coat with that flower in your hair just staring at a blankness and you never get it...it never dawns on you that you're never leaving, he might visit you but he'll never take you home. Sad sad sad, every day you are apart of it is just another reminder of how deeply you have failed yourself, he didn't let you down, you let yourself down...and if this is the type of woman you are, those men will find you and they will use you because they are weak themselves and they will use the one who is lower than them. Someone who is blind to the truth and to weak to walk away from a few tantalizing words and empty promises, even though they're having it shoved in their faces how much BS it all is. And you lower yourself because of your "feelings"...ha! you clearly don't love yourself and you clearly don't think you're worth a shet based on what you allow yourself to go through and have done to you, based on your "feelings". I don't care how much you think you love someone in this twisted mental disorder state, the respect for yourself and love for yourself should not be worth sacrificing for any other human being. You're weak and broken, and yet you try to figure out why these men do what they do...ha! like that's going to make a f@cken difference. What a grand waste of time, what a hilarious and futile attempt at resolving nothing. 5
Author Jennig Posted November 28, 2013 Author Posted November 28, 2013 @ ninjainpajamas- I agree!! did you not read my post? it's embarrassing how I feel about a liar and a manipulator. You honestly can say that you've never made a mistake in your life and have chosen something that you've wanted to get out of but couldn't ? I don't deny for one minute that the choices that I've made in the past year has been wise. But nothing in my life has ever been this hard. So I have to disagree with you when you say I'm not in love with him. I was married a few years back and I know the difference between being in love and not being in love. I was able to walk away from my ex husband and wash my hands of it. our chemistry is amazing!! I mean its not just sex..... its passion, 2 hours of pure passion. But see here's the kicker, you said that he tells me only what I wanna hear, but he really doesn't because he never compliments me, he doesn't even tell me he likes me!! He used to tell me he loves me but that's when we were first dating after about 6 months. Now, nothin! And like I mentioned in my original email, they were many times where he would come over and just talk n he would refuse sex and I would literally tried to get him in bed and he refused me
Blade96 Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 He doesn't tell you he loves you anymore, that's because he doesn't. This type of person can't feel emotions as you and I would. The emotional part of their brain is broken, been damaged in some way. So they have to imitate. They spend their lives watching other people so they can act like they are supposed to act. But they do not feel it. 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 (edited) @ ninjainpajamas- I agree!! did you not read my post? it's embarrassing how I feel about a liar and a manipulator. You honestly can say that you've never made a mistake in your life and have chosen something that you've wanted to get out of but couldn't ? I don't deny for one minute that the choices that I've made in the past year has been wise. But nothing in my life has ever been this hard. So I have to disagree with you when you say I'm not in love with him. I was married a few years back and I know the difference between being in love and not being in love. I was able to walk away from my ex husband and wash my hands of it. our chemistry is amazing!! I mean its not just sex..... its passion, 2 hours of pure passion. But see here's the kicker, you said that he tells me only what I wanna hear, but he really doesn't because he never compliments me, he doesn't even tell me he likes me!! He used to tell me he loves me but that's when we were first dating after about 6 months. Now, nothin! And like I mentioned in my original email, they were many times where he would come over and just talk n he would refuse sex and I would literally tried to get him in bed and he refused me I know what you've said...but you know who the pathological liar really is?...look in the mirror it's yourself. And by the way you're talking you seem still knee deep in this situation, so while you're having one of these moments of reflection and are actually listening...because we both know if Mr. Romeo walks through the door with some BS you'd be all over it, I'm hoping to drill it through your head and open your eyes to what is going on here and make sure you understand it....so when you read that text or get that phone call where he gives you just enough to keep you dangling on the hook because of how "you feel" and he's exploiting that....maybe, just maybe....not likely, but maybe just by some Christmas miracle it will dawn on you that your expectations and standards of being loved, or being in-love are actually necessary in some miniscule form...because as of now, you still seem like you could be completely on board with this guy because you cannot get over this whole "chemistry" thing and clearly you think that is the beginning and end of the world if you could capitalize on that and "explore" the possibilities...spoken like a true teenage girl who's a Justin Bieber fan. It's so crazy how "love" can be for women...even though it's incredibly one-sided you still...have the desire and drive to push forward searching for that light in the dark, it's crazy...why? because the way "you feel" when you're with him...and yes I know, bob knows you won't forget any little snippets from the past of things he said or did or these moments to fuel the fire to convince yourself into justifying the craziness that goes on in your mind in how you feel about him. You have to realize that a lot of what I said is a general overview, I don't know you or this relationship but the patterns and consistency is so true that I could essential generalize your situation and relationship because that's how common it is...you think it makes a difference if he had to say this or not, you think it matters that he never compliments you? that just makes it sadder...still the same shet scenario, any way you slice it...which seems to be something women LOVE to do to give their situation that spice and uniqueness they need to make it feel personalized...but it doesn't change anything. I have no idea why you were with your ex-husband and I have no idea what your FB status is currently set at with your Romeo here, but what I can tell you is that this always goes down the same damn way...you're going to cry and whine about "omg my feelings for this maaan, he's so amazing, somebody help me!" because the guy is ignoring you and then when he decides to scratch his @ss and pick up the phone to see what one of his hoez be doing, he's going to shoot you a text or whatever it is and you're going to be all desperate and in the loop again..."like omg I can't get out, he's so amazing!!" and the guy is essentially farting in your general direction. But nooo, gotta go through the "ups and downs" gotta stay on the roller-coaster, takes what? 1000 times being kicked in the @ss to figure out that's what is happening right? and then it's like "well I made my mistakes but I'm learning or have learned from them"... Let me ask you this, what is it exactly that you are learning or have learned from this and if you in fact have learned anything then why is it that you haven't learned to walk away yet for your own damn good? or are you just going to conveniently blame him for all the crazy attachment/abandonment issues or whatever is that has nothing to do with him and everything to do with you? when are you going to look yourself in the mirror and realize that's the person who's doing this to you? Or is that too much accountability and responsibility for you to endure just yet? guess you got to hit "rock-bottom" right? "they were many times where he would come over and just talk n he would refuse sex and I would literally tried to get him in bed and he refused me" Oh just ignore that! not like he's manipulative, passive aggressive or plays with your emotions or uses you for other reasons than sex or anything! he's just a great guy who feels more for you....obviously! Don't worry, I'm sure he's going to just to come out and "tell you what he wants"...after all, that's what they all do right! Edited November 28, 2013 by Ninjainpajamas 4
Author Jennig Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 I hope everyone had a great turkey day and filled their bellies! I never finished my comment in my last post, my phone died mid post. I would like to ask... how old are you ninjainpajamas? Just curious. You never did answer my question, if you've ever made any mistakes in your life you've regretted?? That's what this is pretty much all about. You speak as though you've always choosen the right path in your life, and if so.. KUDOS! But honestly, you'd be the first. People make and choose wrong choices all the time, whether it be relationships, drugs, alcohol, their career and sometimes need guidance. I do not disagree with anything that you're saying... AT ALL! Nor do I disagree with Blade96. He definitely does not love me, I don't think he ever did. Although, he did throw me off guard when he told me that he loved me (granted that was back in April 2013). It took a lot for him to say that because he doesn't ever talk about his feelings. Doesn't necessarily mean that he meant it though... just WORDS. Ninja- you keep making references to me blaming HIM? Not once have I pointed the finger at him for of any of this... this is all about me being "in love" with a pathological liar and what the hell am i doing?? I can't blame someone for having an illness. Unfortunately, this is the way that he is programmed. He isnt just like this with me, he is like this with his ex-wife, his daughter, his brother. Also, I do know the difference of being "in love" and being "in like" - I'm going to be 40 next month and have been in enough relationships to know the difference. I've been with really nice guys and with super a**holes! This guy has admitted that he has lied, and that he treats me poorly and doesn't understand why I've stuck around for as long as I have (he's actually said this to me). Its called on "unconditional love". I'm not the pathological liar as you called it. I may be lying to myself, hoping that this will work someday? But I know I'm just kidding myself. But it's gotten to the point now where I'm a dumbass!! And pulling away has just been hard for me... Yes! Hence the reason why I'm here. just like every other person on here - I'm not the only one. But as I mentioned in my first initial post, I know he's "just not that into me" .. the writing is all over the wall! Again, I guess part of me just hopes that one day he'll change his mind. I know, I know, leopards don't change their spots. As I mentioned earlier, I'm friends with his first ex wife (whose been remarried now for 8 very happy yrs) and even she says that I treat him better than he's ever been treated, and that I'm good for him. But apparently, he does't feel the same (even though he says I am.. again, just WORDS). We've had plans all week for tonight. I heard from him a few times yesterday (he initiated the texts), but here's where I always go wrong.... . I'm always the one who initiates the first text. Id like to know what time we are getting together tonight, but when we have plans, its usually me doing the initiating. Should I wait to hear from him? Or, should I just text him and ask him what time we are getting together? I know this sounds rediculous, but I'm learning... I dont want to do the wrong thing. A friend of mine always tells me "if you want to text him, then text him- don't stoop to his level". But my thoughts are, if he DID care and did want to see me, he would of already texted OR called and had a time set. LOL! So.. let's see how foolish I look when he blows me off tonight. Can we place bets on what his excuse will be this time as to why he cant tonight or? I'm guessing he's going to tell me hes sick because he drank to much last night OR he has his kids tonight (his famous excuse- even though its not his weekend). But this will be the means to my END (of him) if he does because I will not do it anymore. I can't.. I just can't. I may need some POSITIVE support..(even though I like tough love) . I have no choice.
Author Jennig Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 Im sorry? I dont understand. What 'Janesays' is probably right... I dont feel that I deserve better. I treat men well, very well....always have and I always gets walked on.. like a freakin door mat. I have yet to find someone, at my age who treats me the way I should be treated. I see my friends that are married, and how some of their husbands are... kind, sweet, caring, generous.. when's my turn? The couple of nice guys I've dated and I wasn't attracted to them.. It lasted all of a month.
truth_seeker Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 He's a pathological liar. Isn't this more than enough to walk away from him?
Author Jennig Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 I know. That's what Ive been having a hard time with. Ive never had a hard time waking away from others before, liars (not pathological, just liars) and cheaters... rediculous, I know!! Pathetic, I know. We've had plans since last week actually for tonight, he asked me too dinner at my favorite restaurant, I haven't heard BOO from him at all today. I did text him at 11:30a and just asked what time we were getting together, and if I should get a redbox. Nothing. So I texted him at 1:30p and said Just wondering what time? Still nothing. I already have my " done" email ready to go... I know I should of already sent it. I dont know why this is so hard.
DrewCali Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 I second ^ this. I will never understand people who treat the wrong people right, and the right people wrong. I will take that to my grave not understanding. To the OP there's just something wrong with you. You should seek some kind of therapy.
Author Jennig Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 I despise drama. I dont seek it. lol. Im sorry.. but what's the purpose of this forum?? Please explain... I thought it was to talk, ask questions and try to help each other with dating/relationship etc... issues? I just joined the other day and read several others and have seen much worse than mine? I think the other individuals that have responded to me, have helped... and I DO go to therapy. Tx. Your obviously on here for one reason or another...No?? Is it just to read other peoples issues because you enjoy it? Or, you have issues of your own? Hmmm???
Author Jennig Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 Pot that calls the kettle black... YOU'RE the one that enjoys drama. I'm here seeking guidance.
DrewCali Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 I'm 20 years old, black, in college, work part-time, go to the gym. Life's pretty chill for me. No issues other than being short on money sometimes, but other than that, nothing really. I just joined, I guess i did to give my insight on peoples dilemmas and possibly ask questions later myself? idk.
FitChick Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 OP has a history of picking men like this. Perhaps she is seeking sympathy and attention by being a victim. 1
Author Jennig Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 Omg! Hunny.. your a pup! 20?! Your love life hasn't even begun.. your going to break hearts, your heart is going to get broken. I don't understand why I do what I do... hence the reason why I seek guidance from others (others that have hopefully experienced similar situations as some have alrwady stated). So until you have, you can't judge... I'm sorry.
Author Jennig Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 @blade96- I googled sociopath. Wow! crazy. He has about 8 of the 10 symptoms.. time to let go. ugh. What is wrong with some of the "followers"'on this site? I don't think they seem to understand the purpose of this forum?
Author Jennig Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 @fitchick... sympathy from who? Whose OP? I believe the only ones who have read my posts are the first couple of women who responded. I blame MYSELF & solely myself. Lol. If "OP" is me, not sure why? but my history is NOT these types of men.. again, have you read any of my posts? Ive had bad relationships just like the next... THIS ONE just happens to be out of the norm.
Quiet Storm Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 (edited) When you were young, who did you desperately need attention from? Who ignored you when you needed them? Did you have an alcoholic parent, a dad that left you or worked all the time? A sibling that they treated much better than you? You have unresolved pain from something... And that is what is prompting the attachment, the chemistry, the bond you feel to him. You may love him like an addict loves their heroin... but that's not really love is it? It's dependency, its weakness, its desperation. You are addicted to the way he makes you feel. You are desperate for his attention because you want so much for him to validate you. His poor treatment of you is familiar and comfortable because of your past. He is a reminder of long ago feelings of abandonement and insignificance. Getting him to love you is a way you are trying to resolve that old pain. you are subconciously trying to get him to love you, as a way to feel worthy. So its not about him and his specialness... It's about his brokenness complimenting your brokenness, creating a strong "chemistry" that is really only so strong because of your own issues. It's a sick bond, one that shows how much help you really need. Please get counseling. Edited November 30, 2013 by Quiet Storm 1
FitChick Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 my history is NOT these types of men.. again, have you read any of my posts? Ive had bad relationships just like the next... THIS ONE just happens to be out of the norm. Really? You have a self-destructive pattern of dating losers. Your words: “I’ve never had a hard time waking away from others before, liars (not pathological, just liars) and cheaters.” “I always gets walked on.. like a freakin door mat. I have yet to find someone, at my age who treats me the way I should be treated.” “I dated someone for 3.5 years who treated me like crap and I said enough was enough.” “I’ve been on & off with this one guy for a year now, & he’s done nothing but lie to me since month 1.” Yet you are still with him! Clearly you didn’t learn your lesson from the other losers you chose. This is typical of someone with your problem: "The couple of nice guys I've dated and I wasn't attracted to them." There is a 'pay-off' you are getting from choosing to be with men like this. You need to figure out what it is so you can change and move on.
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