MRXXXXX Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Just broke up with my gf of a year and a half.I've had plenty of relationships and breakups but I've never felt about anyone the way I felt about her,she was definitely a special person. We had so many plans together and now it's all gone. We lived together for most of are relationship (maybe moved in to soon) and it was her apartment so I've had to move back to my parents. We took a break for a month but she still couldn't get back on track. She said she didn't know what she wanted anymore and it wasn't fair to keep me waiting. I desperately want to talk to her and try and find a way to make it work but I know she won't. I'm dreading the next few months paparticularly as Christmas is just around the corner. I know it's going to be so hard to get her out of my head. Being a guy it's hard to find someone to talk to when the person i talk to when times are hard is the one person i can't call.
chris21422 Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Man I know it's hard especially this holiday but 2014 is a new life for us. Just broke up with my gf of a year and a half.I've had plenty of relationships and breakups but I've never felt about anyone the way I felt about her,she was definitely a special person. We had so many plans together and now it's all gone. We lived together for most of are relationship (maybe moved in to soon) and it was her apartment so I've had to move back to my parents. We took a break for a month but she still couldn't get back on track. She said she didn't know what she wanted anymore and it wasn't fair to keep me waiting. I desperately want to talk to her and try and find a way to make it work but I know she won't. I'm dreading the next few months paparticularly as Christmas is just around the corner. I know it's going to be so hard to get her out of my head. Being a guy it's hard to find someone to talk to when the person i talk to when times are hard is the one person i can't call.
mikecr50 Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Feel for you brother. The holidays can be good though you stay busy at least. Don't contact her at all just leave her be!
Author MRXXXXX Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 2014 is the goal. Just need to get there the best way I can. Not making any plans until then. Can't even think about the future at the minute it just stresses me out.
Author MRXXXXX Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 Just wondered how different people deal with getting to sleep at night especially in the early stages of a break up? I've found myself just watching tv until I fall asleep and hope the tv doesn't wake me up during the night. Can't deal with switching the light off and just going to sleep my mind just goes at a million miles an hour
Shaine Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 I have trouble sleeping too. I lie in bed and my mind just go autopilot. Fantasizing about getting back together, or just creating conversation in my head. Sometimes i will catch myself and say Stop it! But after a few seconds my minds at it again. It sux 1
organizedchaos Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 I have trouble sleeping too. I lie in bed and my mind just go autopilot. Fantasizing about getting back together, or just creating conversation in my head. Sometimes i will catch myself and say Stop it! But after a few seconds my minds at it again. It sux Still happens to me too occasionally, 4 months later.
MoroccoMole Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 Just broke up with my gf of a year and a half.I've had plenty of relationships and breakups but I've never felt about anyone the way I felt about her,she was definitely a special person. We had so many plans together and now it's all gone. We lived together for most of are relationship (maybe moved in to soon) and it was her apartment so I've had to move back to my parents. We took a break for a month but she still couldn't get back on track. She said she didn't know what she wanted anymore and it wasn't fair to keep me waiting. I desperately want to talk to her and try and find a way to make it work but I know she won't. I'm dreading the next few months paparticularly as Christmas is just around the corner. I know it's going to be so hard to get her out of my head. Being a guy it's hard to find someone to talk to when the person i talk to when times are hard is the one person i can't call. I'm in the same boat brotha. Just broke up with my girl of 2yrs the only person I've ever loved and ever truly cared about. I can honestly tell you in my experience the beginning is surreal and almost unbearable. You need to let it take its course and you're going to feel that miserable heartbreak, ignoring it or acting in denial makes things worse. I didn't sleep, didn't go out, cried way too much to admit, and being a guy you really have zero support system from your friends, it's really difficult. My advice is to embrace the fact that you guys are over, keep yourself busy and motivated looking ahead to the future and admit that it's over regardless of how special and profound your time with her was. With my ex we tried after we split but we both knew it was for the better and acceptance is probably one of the most difficult aspects. Stay positive, don't lie to yourself, try to embrace the change and you will make it through. Rooting for you man =]
Phantomu Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 Hey man i'm almost in a very similar situation. My advice to you. Don't contact her. I can honestly say that's the best advice for you. I contacted my ex and now i'm paying for it. Don't go down that road my friend. Stay strong.
tjr Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 I was having so much sleeping issues that i dled a sleep hypnosis app lol. It accually helpped. It would knock me out 5-10 mins and id sleep mostly till the alarm went off.
Author MRXXXXX Posted November 28, 2013 Author Posted November 28, 2013 Thanks for the replys it really helps. Feels so serial at times I can't actually believe it. Also wish when we were on are break that I had just left her alone, think it might have made a difference. Shouldn't pushed her, think it's very important to set very clear rules for a break. We just did it out of the blue I didn't really think it was a big deal until we really started to get in to it which made me panic and say some stupid things. Looking back on it now think she knew it was over at the start of the break which kills me cause it mean there's no hope.
Phantomu Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 There is never no hope. You just can't hold onto it anymore. You gotta do you, i'm struggling with this too. You miss her, you want to see her, you want her to care. But she's just gonna do it on her own time my friend. I'm like you, regretting ever saying anything. Pushing it or pleading for another chance. It gets you no where. Even if you feel in your heart that it's something she might wanna hear, she doesn't. You have to just cut it off.. IT'S SO HARD I KNOW. But I want you to not make the mistakes I did and make it worse. You don't want to end up hearing things like, Leave me alone. Keep your head up my friend. We can make it through this.
ponchsox Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 It's going to be hard my friend, but stay strong, go NC, and check in these forums whenever you are feeling down. I applaud you for ending it when you didn't see it going any further. Dragging along someone ends up making it much worse for both!
Author MRXXXXX Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 Ok so she text me last night, first time we have talked since break up which was 3 days ago (feels like a life time) she was basically seeing how I was, I replied, know most will say I shouldn't have but felt like I had to for myself. Regret going into detail on how I wasn't doing so good but anyway. So basically ended up saying to her in the end that she didn't want this anymore and that she had to let me move on and I wasn't trying to be nasty but thats how it had to be. She said that that was hard to hear because she was hurting and missed me but she understood. I said it was hard to say, but she knew where I was. Suppose i was trying to get it across that she needed to leave me to it but if she changed her mind the door was still open...........a bit. I feel better today for saying it to be honest it feels like a bit of a weight off me, may well be short lived but we shall just have to see. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
Sparky9 Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 Keep your chin up. You'll have to realize, she is hurting too. So many emotions run rampant during a break up. Sleep ...oh, what can I say about sleep. I did the exact same thing. Watched tv in my recliner until I passed out...wake up in cold sweats several times per night...or wake up with my heart beating out of my chest. It still happens, but much less frequent. Time is the only thing that helps. The first couple weeks are the most painful... If you continue to break NC with her... It just restarts your emotional clock. If you accept that your relationship is going nowhere, then NC is by far the best option for you. My ex is actually moving her stuff out of the house we lived in together as we speak. Been split for a couple days over three weeks. I hate it.. But have also accepted that there is no chance for us. Keep your chin up... It does get better.
Author MRXXXXX Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 After a terrible weekend I now today have to go round my ex apartment to get some stuff she forgot to pack! I'm holding on to some hope that she will be there even though we have agreed she will not be and leave a key for me. I just know later I'm going to be crushed but the thought of excepting that she won't be there is to much to deal with at the minute. I would give anything for her to be there :-(
Author MRXXXXX Posted December 3, 2013 Author Posted December 3, 2013 we had agreed that she would leave a key out and i I could go in and get my stuff. On my way round after work she text me to say she was going around to her sisters (which is a 10 minutes walk away) and that my stuff was in a plastic bag outside the door. I was gutted did mean that little to her that that's how it was left my stuff in a bag outside her door. My heart went from broken to smashed! Just makes me think that she must have fallen out of love with me along time ago
Haydn Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 Then remember she left you with nothing. If she left something....but she did not. With you. Take care.
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