bananas919 Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 (edited) Hello guys, Well, i've met my first love online, locally, on a fun chat site. It was a pure coincidence - she was going to move in to my city just a month later, starting her first year in an university. After a month of dating, we decided to create some kind of a relationship and now we are 2 months together. And I already want help from you guys. 1. Recently I've been getting quite upset, not sure if to no purpose, but the fact is that she doesn't quite seem to show much interest in hanging out frequently. We only see each other, say, once a week. Although she has quite a lot of work to do for the studies and most of the time can't hang out for reasons, she lives with other girls in a dormitory and I often hear her having "parties" there, you know, girlish things, playing table games till the middle of the night, for example 2. She's also not into having kisses in public places, where we meet most frequently actually. For example, she greets me just with a hug, I really miss the romantic moments. If I didn't kiss her on my initiative, our meet would always end with a single short kiss when leaving.. 3. Even if it comes to hanging out, we're almost always out of ideas what and where to do something. She's into studying at daytime, so evening is, i guess, almost the only option everytime. I live in a city, but the bars and restaurants are expensive, and it's winter now, so she doesn't prefer staying somewhere outside. I would invite her to my house, but the family is always around me, and I don't have a lot of space; she's quite shy when it comes to other people, too. She also doesn't seem to have been alone in her dormitory room recently, so no invites whatsoever. Sorry for sounding maybe a bit silly, guys, but what can I do on my behalf to solve some of these 'problems'? It sounds like it is just her personality, but I'm much into knowing her more, and chatting online everyday (we do) IMO is far less than having an actual hangout. Btw, we're both 18. I'm still at school (final year), she's already an undergraduate student. Thank you in advance!!! Edited November 27, 2013 by bananas919
Author bananas919 Posted November 28, 2013 Author Posted November 28, 2013 By the sounds of it, she's not very interested in you. That's a red flag of not wanting to kiss in public. Just confront her. Say that you are concerned with some issues. Lets deal with them now. Instead of putting it off and letting things boil over. Thanks for your answer, I will bear that in mind. I somehow didn't manage that could be the reason, I'll try and reach her after Christmas holidays, hope we can get some talk about that and sort things out. Might it be that after some hangouts she got to know me better and lost the interest? I couldn't have changed since we first wrote up, can it even be because of HER personality? My character type is ISTJ and hers ESTP, btw.
zebracolors Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 I'm not sure what ISTJ and ESTP are. But I'll address the issue about kissing in public, or even most any kind of displays like even holding hands. they usually send clear-cut signals to anyone who happens to look that the two have a more-than-casual acquaintance, therefore basically off-limits to anyone else. Now if both are happy with each other (never mind what others assume) than both will be comfortable with public displays of affection. As Snipez says, In her case, she may just not be sure how comfortable she is being in an exclusive relationship right now, or with you, or if she really wants this. In any case, I agree bring this up to her but not in a confrontational way of course, and try to encourage her to not be afraid to say what she may be afraid of. best of luck.
Author bananas919 Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 I'm not sure what ISTJ and ESTP are. But I'll address the issue about kissing in public, or even most any kind of displays like even holding hands. they usually send clear-cut signals to anyone who happens to look that the two have a more-than-casual acquaintance, therefore basically off-limits to anyone else. Now if both are happy with each other (never mind what others assume) than both will be comfortable with public displays of affection. As Snipez says, In her case, she may just not be sure how comfortable she is being in an exclusive relationship right now, or with you, or if she really wants this. In any case, I agree bring this up to her but not in a confrontational way of course, and try to encourage her to not be afraid to say what she may be afraid of. best of luck. Many thanks for your opinion! Helped me to rethink.
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