Fugee Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 alright so as the title says i've been getting faded every night to help ease my pain. before the breakup i've never gotten drunk or high. but as of late i've been having hard times coping, and thinking about my ex. i just have one drink and smoke weed, nothing drastic but i hope it doesn't lead to dark times. seems like if my girl came back, i'd stop.
bedelgeuse Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 I've been there man, when I was going through my divorce years ago after I found out about her multiple affairs, I hit the whiskey hard. Every night for awhile getting so hammered alone in a room. I also smoked about an ounce of weed every week. Popping pills left and right. Oh yeah and I chain smoked cigarettes at the time as well. I became a hot mess. It wasn't worth it. When your mind is already at a low, and your body is not being nourished and taken care of, you are in a downward spiral. Honestly, only you can make the choice to be healthier. I was faced with that choice again recently when my ex GF broke up with me out of nowhere. This was a woman who made me want to marry again and I was about to move across country with. It would have been very easy to slip into a path of self destruction post BU. Instead I made a choice to do the opposite I had done when I was going through my divorce. That means I eat healthy, workout everyday, quit cigarettes, and quit drinking. I still smoke weed just not like I'm Snoop Dogg anymore. By doing this I am getting my body to a place where my mind can only follow suit. Becoming healthier has returned some of the confidence lost from the breakup, physically now I've never been better. This choice is only going to make me better, and I look forward to the months ahead as I progress. It's not easy. It's the hardest change I've made in my life. You have to want to change yourself for the better. Trust me I still think of her all the time (1.5 months since BU), I have weak moments that come in and out like waves. Don't let your own perception misguide you, when you have the ability to change it to whatever you want. As they say, perception is reality so focus on yours and make it the best reality you want to experience. Good luck
Blastbeat Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 One drink and smoking weed doesn't mean you have a drug problem. There are now plenty of peer reviewed studies out that highlight the positives that outweigh the negatives of smoking weed. Smoking weed can have effects on your mood if you smoke it too much. Alcohol abuse would be a problem though but one drink a night is not abuse. I smoke weed and I'm fine, perform well at my job, doesn't affect me bad in anyway.
Author Fugee Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 And putting that level of pressure on someone to save you from a drug and alcohol problem, does not a happy relationship make. You should seek help from AA or NA. If you think it's a problem, it probably is. the thing is my ex is the one who said i need to start smoking and drinking, because i was too "square & uptight" she's the partying type.
Author Fugee Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 I've been there man, when I was going through my divorce years ago after I found out about her multiple affairs, I hit the whiskey hard. Every night for awhile getting so hammered alone in a room. I also smoked about an ounce of weed every week. Popping pills left and right. Oh yeah and I chain smoked cigarettes at the time as well. I became a hot mess. It wasn't worth it. When your mind is already at a low, and your body is not being nourished and taken care of, you are in a downward spiral. Honestly, only you can make the choice to be healthier. I was faced with that choice again recently when my ex GF broke up with me out of nowhere. This was a woman who made me want to marry again and I was about to move across country with. It would have been very easy to slip into a path of self destruction post BU. Instead I made a choice to do the opposite I had done when I was going through my divorce. That means I eat healthy, workout everyday, quit cigarettes, and quit drinking. I still smoke weed just not like I'm Snoop Dogg anymore. By doing this I am getting my body to a place where my mind can only follow suit. Becoming healthier has returned some of the confidence lost from the breakup, physically now I've never been better. This choice is only going to make me better, and I look forward to the months ahead as I progress. It's not easy. It's the hardest change I've made in my life. You have to want to change yourself for the better. Trust me I still think of her all the time (1.5 months since BU), I have weak moments that come in and out like waves. Don't let your own perception misguide you, when you have the ability to change it to whatever you want. As they say, perception is reality so focus on yours and make it the best reality you want to experience. Good luck i was on the path to start working out and playing sports again, but since being dumped, i'm uninspired and motivated to get back into the game. i'm just hoping this passes as it did for you.
Author Fugee Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 What? And you want her back? A woman who believes that you need to change? Seriously? she was right though, i can't lie. the upside of this all, i'm less tense and i'm chill. she told me i need to leave my comfort zone, and it has brought me out of my shell.
Simon Phoenix Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 This whole line of thinking by the OP is some dysfunctional-ass sh*t. 1
AShogunNamedMarcus Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 You don't have a problem. You are in pain and you seek relief from that pain. It's perfectly normal to numb pain with substances temporarily. We do it for physical pain with medicines and we do it for mental pain with "other medicines". If that pain becomes something that lasts without going away and you feel like you always have to drink or get high for the rest of your life... then you have a problem. It might not be addiction, but you can get dependent on it which may even be harder to fix. 1
Author Fugee Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 You don't have a problem. You are in pain and you seek relief from that pain. It's perfectly normal to numb pain with substances temporarily. We do it for physical pain with medicines and we do it for mental pain with "other medicines". If that pain becomes something that lasts without going away and you feel like you always have to drink or get high for the rest of your life... then you have a problem. It might not be addiction, but you can get dependent on it which may even be harder to fix. i use to be dependent on pills back in high school i remember now, that was pretty bad. i've never liked drinking but i'm starting to enjoy it and that bothers me.
AShogunNamedMarcus Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Guitarheroin makes it very clear from her posting that she is anti-drug. Her info will be biased in one direction and not based on reality. If you had to control one, keep the alcohol from getting out of hand. It has by far the worst consequences when abused. 1
Blastbeat Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Guitarheroin makes it very clear from her posting that she is anti-drug. Her info will be biased in one direction and not based on reality. If you had to control one, keep the alcohol from getting out of hand. It has by far the worst consequences when abused. ^^this. You should only look to accredited peer reviewed articles written and tested by experts in their field. So many people think dope is bad because it's illegal. Alcohol will seriously **** you up. One standard drink a night will not harm. It's mainly binge drinking that's a problem. I have been through this myself. I get heart palpitations when I drink now. So I just stick to having a smoke once a night and I'm much healthier and have a lot of energy
Blastbeat Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 I respect your opinion though Guitarheroine, I know you're trying to help. And I'm not trying to pressure you into smoking weed at all, just sharing my thoughts. I have studied the matter. Too many opinions are based on conjecture and propaganda
Simon Phoenix Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 There's a difference between smoking a J every so often and getting blazed every night. There's a difference between having a few beers with friends and drinking handles of vodka to get the day started. Don't turn this into a drug vs. anti-drug war -- completely out of place and inappropriate in the context of this conversation. The OP is obviously uncomfortable with what he's doing, and he's doing it to curry favor from another person, not because he enjoys it. That there is the problem that should be focused on. If the OP was blazing up under his own volition (instead of doing it as some ridiculous attempt to make himself better for another person who rejected him) and enjoying how it made him felt, he wouldn't have started this thread. The focus of this isn't whether the OP is justified or not in feeling guilty about blazing chronic, the focus is the reasoning behind why he's doing it in the first place. He's not doing it for him. 2
Author Fugee Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 There's a difference between smoking a J every so often and getting blazed every night. There's a difference between having a few beers with friends and drinking handles of vodka to get the day started. Don't turn this into a drug vs. anti-drug war -- completely out of place and inappropriate in the context of this conversation. The OP is obviously uncomfortable with what he's doing, and he's doing it to curry favor from another person, not because he enjoys it. That there is the problem that should be focused on. If the OP was blazing up under his own volition (instead of doing it as some ridiculous attempt to make himself better for another person who rejected him) and enjoying how it made him felt, he wouldn't have started this thread. The focus of this isn't whether the OP is justified or not in feeling guilty about blazing chronic, the focus is the reasoning behind why he's doing it in the first place. He's not doing it for him. i'm getting cross-faded every night, the main reason isn't because my ex said i need to... its because i'm depressed and i'm abusing myself to find 'happiness' and to ease my pain.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Guitarheroin makes it very clear from her posting that she is anti-drug. Her info will be biased in one direction and not based on reality. If you had to control one, keep the alcohol from getting out of hand. It has by far the worst consequences when abused. Community Guidelines: ...We realize that all members may not share the same definitions on issues surrounding personal morality, appropriate behavior, and other sensitive topics of discussion that often appear on the site; we encourage all to voice their own opinions while refraining from criticizing other participants for the perspective they hold. Each person that posts on the forum is to be treated with the utmost respect and civility regardless of how absurd or ridiculous the opinion expressed might seem to you from your perspective. Way out of line calling out aspiringguitarheroine. 2
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 i'm getting cross-faded every night, the main reason isn't because my ex said i need to... its because i'm depressed and i'm abusing myself to find 'happiness' and to ease my pain. If that is really how you feel man, then I agree with many of these on here and seek some help. It will do you good. Not just for the addiction, but for coping with pain as well.
Blastbeat Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 I apologize, I was not intending to turn this in to a drug debate. If you think you have a problem, by all means sort it out. 1
Kevin_D Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 I'm getting drunk as we speak. Some nights I use painkillers, some nights I drink. But it's the only way I can get some sleep. The thing is, if you sleep 2-3 hours every night, you won't have the energy to exercise and go outside. I'm not too worried about myself though. After a couple of weeks of heavy drinking, I can't stand alcohol.
mtnbiker3000 Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 seems like if my girl came back, i'd stop. = Co-dependence 1
Author Fugee Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 = Co-dependence exactly, she was always there during my times of depression. now i have nobody.
mtnbiker3000 Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 exactly, she was always there during my times of depression. now i have nobody. Sounds cliche, but you've got to be there for yourself. You really do. If you just find another co-dependent relationship, you will end up here again. Same spot, just older. Time to work on your issues!!!
mtnbiker3000 Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 the thing is my ex is the one who said i need to start smoking and drinking, because i was too "square & uptight" Really? So you did what she requested, and for no reason of your own?
Haydn Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 I am not anti anything apart from my devious ex. But i think taking drugs or a having a few drinks when you are happy is great. But when you are down then any kind oof drug or drink usually has the opposite effect. By i agree with you MTNbiker. If someone told me i need to take a drug to make me more laid back i would seriously question why. Fugee, you just need to try to be yourself and not mask it with anything else. Sure you will come through, then you can take me out for a beer! 1
radiodarcy Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 the thing is my ex is the one who said i need to start smoking and drinking, because i was too "square & uptight" she's the partying type. As a self-professed square, I too had an ex who told me the same thing. He made it seem as though he was encouraging me to to all that stuff out of concern for me, to help me come out of my shell. But all it really did was numb me - - which hey don't get me wrong, sometimes even being numb can be a welcome escape. But being numb didn't make us any closer as I had hoped it would. Why I thought it would I don't know -- I guess because I was hoping he would see it as me willing to please him by doing it because he liked to do it. But he didn't. That's when I realized it was more about him getting me to do what he wanted than it was about "helping" me. And yes since then I have smoked or had a drink. But I do it because it's my decision, not because I'm trying to please someone else - - other than myself.
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