KenSteel Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 So I can't find the right girl despite the fact that I seem to have everything going for me. First a little background info. I'm a 27year old white male, 6' 2" and about 220lbs of solid muscle. By western standards I'm very good looking, I'd say a 9/10. People frequently tell me I'm attractive and I should model and my friends make fun of me for it, in particular my teeth because they are perfect and very white. I'm in excellent shape on account of my job, currently I'm an Army Officer in Special Forces training. I'm well read, articulate, speak Russian fluently and I'm successful when it comes to investing and making money. My only downside is that I drink to excess when I party, however, I have been sober for about a year and plan on keeping it hat way. Personality wise I'm confident and very level headed, and almost never let emotion get the better of me. I read constantly, travel around the world for fun and can hold a conversation with anyone. Despite all that I can't meet the right girl. By right, I mean a girl who is at least an 8/10, intelligent and not insecure. Due to the fact that I'm the epitome of an alpha male, girls can be taken aback by me. They automatically assume I'm a player cause I'm good looking and a soldier, and refuse to give me a chance. Also I live a crazy life and have amazing stories, but girls assume I'm lying when I tell them about stuff I have done because it is so outlandish. I have resorted to showing them pictures or videos so they believe me. To which their typically eonse is "wow you weren't lying" And then if I find a girl to go out with me they end up becoming very insecure in the relationship because I'm usually better looking,smarter and more successful than them. I tend to date girls who are a 7/10 and work a low skill job. Sweet girls but not wife material, but there the only ones who will give me a chance. My question is what can I do to attract more successful, prettier women? I don't tell them war stories, or even what I do for a living most of the time. I play down the fact that I have money. I tone down my assertiveness intentionally, which is hard cause I'm used to being the boss. Where is a good place to meet a young professional at who won't feel inadequate compared to me?
Author KenSteel Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 Please ignore the typos, I hate typing on an ipad
SarcasticAbby Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Please don't take my bluntness for being rude, however, if you come off as cocky in person as you are here I can see why you're having trouble. 8
Author KenSteel Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 You are right, I am cocky, but most most of the time it's done in a self effacing humorous kind of way. However, I am aware of that character flaw of mine and intentionally try and tone it down around girls and try and listen to them and not talk about my self.
CptSaveAho Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 you wont find one because you are too superficial and seek validation from women if i can see this in the 10 seconds it took me to read it, a 8,9, 10 will see this in 1/2 a second it takes her to look at you 4
Author KenSteel Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 Lol, I do dress nicely and have gotten the gay comment from girls before... I am old fashioned and won't kiss until the second or third date. Never thought of that before. And yes I am superficial. But shouldn't be there be a superficial woman out there to compliment me.
Avulare Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 I just read two paragraphs about how great you are; one sentence about the kind of girl you're looking for... In all likelihood there is some correlation between your online and real-life mannerisms, and a pretty face can't fix self-centered douche. Thar be your problem, sir. 5
Author KenSteel Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 I wouldn't date a girl who is gorgeous but lacks intelligence or character. I need a girl with all three, I don't think that's asking to much.
theothersully Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 You'll find posts on here that talk about my own quite successful adventures with the ladies (while not finding the right one yet or even knowing what I'm looking for), but nowhere do i say I'm any better than anyone else. They are smelling your insecurity from a mile away. Get real. You are no better than anyone else. The moment you can feel secure in yourself and get rid of this ridiculous self image is the moment girls will start being attracted to you. And evaluating girls on a number ranking system?? Really? Just go for all "10's" like i do and you won't have to worry about a "7" slipping in. Probably a troll, but amazing if real. 1
Author KenSteel Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 Not a troll I assure you. The crux of the issue is that I never get to meet really hot successful woman. I work only with guys, who are all married and their wives don't have hot single friends. I am almost always dating someone and I don't cheat so on the off chance I meet a hot girl I can't ask her out cause I'm taken at the time. I know the post comes off as cocky, I got it. The question is though where are all the hot successful woman hiding at? Cities I assume? Army post are in **** hole towns. The hottest girl you meet at Bragg is a waitress or bartender. I want a woman with a career and her life together. Where do they reside?
winny Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Due to the fact that I'm the epitome of an alpha male, girls can be taken aback by me. LOL This is so funny! No wonder girls are running away from you 2
theothersully Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Not a troll I assure you. The crux of the issue is that I never get to meet really hot successful woman. I work only with guys, who are all married and their wives don't have hot single friends. I am almost always dating someone and I don't cheat so on the off chance I meet a hot girl I can't ask her out cause I'm taken at the time. I know the post comes off as cocky, I got it. The question is though where are all the hot successful woman hiding at? Cities I assume? Army post are in **** hole towns. The hottest girl you meet at Bragg is a waitress or bartender. I want a woman with a career and her life together. Where do they reside? Mostly in cities... not cities near bases. 1
MalachiX Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Hmmmm...hope this doesn't sound like i'm picking on you because that's not my intent. One poster said you came off as cocky. That's true but I don't think that's your problem. From your writing, it seems like your cockiness is an attempt to hide a pretty deep insecurity and i'm guessing the women you're attracted to can smell that. I've never known a truly confident man to say that he's "the epitome of alpha male." In fact, I only know insecure guys who act like jerks to use the term "alpha male." I've never known a truly confident/nice-guy to constantly rate women with a number scale. I also rarely know confident men who spend as much time listing off all the reasons they're awesome as you do. All of these are things that would make me think that you're insecure and that you're hiding something (or perhaps just have issues with social situations). Finally, your assumption that women must not be giving you a chance because you're better-looking/smarter/more-successful does sound legitimately arrogant which is also a turn off. I think women respond to real confidence. I don't think they respond to someone who can only process rejection by belittling other people. Doing so once again makes it seem like you're trying hard to build yourself up (by tearing others down); and thus makes you not seem all that confident. Are you Asbergers by any chance (not an insult, just a question)? I know that people with AS tend to often have trouble in this area and come off to others as aloof and full of themselves (as well as socially awkward). 1
Conners Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 you THINK you're good looking.. and why the hell does it matter if you're white. send us a pic, probably a solid 6/10 at best
d0nnivain Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Acknowledging that a messge board is an imperfect communications tool, you come off as arrogant & superficial. Hopefully some of that is a function of the medium. I hear you saying that you want to find a strong woman, who is still willing to submit to you, who you find beautiful. Those aren't necessarily bad things. My question is where are you looking for these women? I hardly think they are hanging around your base. Perhaps on your next leave you can go to a big city -- think LA, NY. Chicago, Miami, Dallas, etc. not the podunk metropolis just off base. If you don't have a ton of time, how far is Chapel Hill from Ft. Bragg? Perhaps a grad student from UNC will fit your bill. Understand many women don't want to date military guys because they can't handle your deployment & they can't handle how messed up you can get when you come home. I know it's a huge transition. My husband served. Being deployed does stuff to people.
theothersully Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Hmmmm...hope this doesn't sound like i'm picking on you because that's not my intent. One poster said you came off as cocky. That's true but I don't think that's your problem. From your writing, it seems like your cockiness is an attempt to hide a pretty deep insecurity and i'm guessing the women you're attracted to can smell that. I've never known a truly confident man to say that he's "the epitome of alpha male." In fact, I only know insecure guys who act like jerks to use the term "alpha male." I've never known a truly confident/nice-guy to constantly rate women with a number scale. I also rarely know confident men who spend as much time listing off all the reasons they're awesome as you do. All of these are things that would make me think that you're insecure and that you're hiding something (or perhaps just have issues with social situations). Finally, your assumption that women must not be giving you a chance because you're better-looking/smarter/more-successful does sound legitimately arrogant which is also a turn off. I think women respond to real confidence. I don't think they respond to someone who can only process rejection by belittling other people. Doing so once again makes it seem like you're trying hard to build yourself up (by tearing others down); and thus makes you not seem all that confident. Are you Asbergers by any chance (not an insult, just a question)? I know that people with AS tend to often have trouble in this area and come off to others as aloof and full of themselves (as well as socially awkward). Exactly what I said. The OP is very insecure and needs to work on that. 1
Emilia Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 I'm an Army Officer in Special Forces training. :laugh: You are wasting your time folks.
Emilia Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 I don't tell them war stories, or even what I do for a living most of the time. I play down the fact that I have money. I tone down my assertiveness intentionally, which is hard cause I'm used to being the boss. Where is a good place to meet a young professional at who won't feel inadequate compared to me? Oh I missed the last paragraph earlier So how does it go with the beasting when you tell the others that you are the boss? Do you blame the bruises on 'war stories'? How does the assertiveness help you in 'Special Forces Training'? Priceless, thanks for the entertainment
Delilah1623 Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 You seem like a sociopath and a narcissist who thinks he is superior to women. Im guessing your problem has less to do with the women you meet and more to do with your seemingly repulsive personality. 1
bnh Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 (edited) OP - it doesn't matter how good looking you are, the cocky alpha stuff is cringeworthy. Take on a little modesty and stop seeing yourself (and women) as a check-list of marketable attributes. Take it from me, women don't like it. Edited November 27, 2013 by bnh typo 3
Iguanna Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 I'm very good looking, I'd say a 9/10...... By right, I mean a girl who is at least an 8/10, Have you tried to hang out with models? You don't need all these skills you described to get them. (if only people would not use the phrase "right girl" meaning only outside beauty...) 2
bnh Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 I'm now thinking surely this person is a troll? I mean, 'KenSteel' - Ken as in Barbie's boyfriend? Figures, a plastic doll would suit him well.
BlessYourCottonSocks Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 First of all, as a woman, let me tell you we like our men assertive, strong, independent and confident, but once we find out it's all about you and top the cake, your cocky: GOODBYE baby. Here let me show you some examples: I'm very good looking, I'd say a 9/10 By what standards? Your own self cockiness determined this? I'd love to see a picture of you and I'll be honest with you... My teeth because they are perfect and very white This really doesn't need to be said (who gives a hoot, met many man with perfect teeth, but not attractive). It's like you have to prove it to us when you really (subconsciously) are trying to prove it to yourself. You NEED to be attractive or you wouldn't accept yourself. and this whole paragraph: Despite all that I can't meet the right girl. By right, I mean a girl who is at least an 8/10, intelligent and not insecure. Due to the fact that I'm the epitome of an alpha male, girls can be taken aback by me. They automatically assume I'm a player cause I'm good looking and a soldier, and refuse to give me a chance. Also I live a crazy life and have amazing stories, but girls assume I'm lying when I tell them about stuff I have done because it is so outlandish. I have resorted to showing them pictures or videos so they believe me. To which their typically eonse is "wow you weren't lying" And then if I find a girl to go out with me they end up becoming very insecure in the relationship because I'm usually better looking,smarter and more successful than them. I tend to date girls who are a 7/10 and work a low skill job. Sweet girls but not wife material, but there the only ones who will give me a chance. This just blows my skirt up. Like your the king of the world and you are entitled to a woman (by your standards) of an 8 or 9/10 woman. And if you find anything less of that you have somehow failed in life. Listen here, Rico Suave, looks AREN'T everything. I could say I'm a 10/10 and perfect in every way, and even if I really was, I'm sure you would find something wrong with me. I can see why these girls become insecure: you don't make them very secure. Your cocky demeanor would be enough for me to run away...even if I have high heels on.. You ever notice how the really attractive woman are with men that are not so attractive? You want to know why? Because they are sweet, attentive, caring, selfless and can provide them security. They can make her laugh, they don't have to worry about him KNOWING he's better looking (even if he is or not) because he always confirms to her how beautiful she is and most of all they don't have to deal with your attitude... Looks are about number 7 on my list of must-haves in a man. Why is yours the first? Image? How you perceive to be to other people? Titles? Are you afraid of what others would think? I think in the end, you just are who you are. I don't think you will ever find your picture perfect woman because she doesn't exist. Trust me. In looks she might blow you away, but she will lack somewhere else and you will never be fulfilled because it all boils down to this (even though you aren't prepared to hear it): you lack something in yourself. 4
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