TooEmotional Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Hello, my boyfriend of just over a year has finished me and and I don't know if anyone can relate, but this is what hurts the most... Half way into the relationship, I wasn't sure about how I felt anymore. Then another guy showed me interest, and I'll be honest, I thought about it, but only thought! Anyway, I compared those two and realised that my bf was so much better (for me, anyway). Then, it's like all of a sudden I got this over-whelming feeling about how much I loved my bf. I started (just to myself, wouldn't never tell anyone), comparing him to any other guy. And they never matched up. I was so happy and so grateful that I had my bf, and I only let myself feel this deep because he told me certain things (like how he loved me so much, that he wanted us to have a future together, how he'd find a place for the both of us to live, blah f**king blah). Now because I did all of that comparing, even while in the relationship, I feel like I know that no one will match up. I feel like no one will share the same humor as we did (practically identical sense of humor), have his intelligence, have the same views and morals, anything! And if they do, they won't have it all. It's like, now that I've had that, I couldn't be with someone who doesn't have that- does that make sense? I know people will probably say 'don't focus on future relationships, learn to be happy alone for now', and I agree! But the thing is, realistically, I don't want to be single for ever. But I feel like no one will match up. Will they? Am I being ridiculous? Or realistic? Just want a truthful opinion. Thank you
Confusedguy81 Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 We always see our exes in an exaggerated golden light AFTER the breakup. Truth is, there was stink with the individual during the relationship that has diminished because you haven't been around to smell it. When you date, don't create an expectation. Live in the moment and go from there. It is hard to do for alot of people (especially me), but if you keep comparing, you are being unfair to yourself and your future dates.
Author TooEmotional Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 Thank you for the reply. But is comparing not just being realistic? If so, I'm finding it hard not to. Like, if I don't compare, it's because I'm forcing myself to believe that it's wrong to. When maybe, it's true, but just hard to face. I don't know
Confusedguy81 Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Thank you for the reply. But is comparing not just being realistic? If so, I'm finding it hard not to. Like, if I don't compare, it's because I'm forcing myself to believe that it's wrong to. When maybe, it's true, but just hard to face. I don't know Comparing others to your ex is no bueno. Why? Do you want someone exactly like your ex who will dump you also? Get away from the tunnel vision and date different types of people and open yourself to being attracted to people that may be different than your ex. Perhaps you compare others to your ex to sabotage any potential dating future with someone (defense mechanism from getting too close) or perhaps you are simply not ready to date. 1
justash-x Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Someone one day will walk into your life and it will make you realise why it didn't work with your ex 2
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