robtmufc Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Hi, This is my first post on here and I actually signed up to get advice but anyway here goes.... At the end of September I was supposed to be going on a placement down south (which never materialised unfortunately), me and the now ex were talking that night and she said 'well what about us?'. I may add that she is going to uni next year and wanted to go to a uni far away from where she currently lives, so in anger that night I regrettably said "well we will just end it now then" and said that I didn't want to talk to her again. We've broken up a few times in the 4 year period we were together and I just thought after a few days we'd cool down and be alright again but a week went past and she didn't contact me(when she would everyday) so I rang her up and that's when I realised it was serious that we were done for good. I made the rookie mistake (as it was my first relationship) of chasing her and asking her to meet me all the time and talking to her and she would say nasty things to me like she didn't love me any more and she liked other people already and she didn't want to get back together again. After the initial 2 week period where I again regrettably called her every other day to meet me to try and fix it I backed off and I would talk to her every few days and I said we should try and be friends. She at first said yeah OK then and we went out a few times but I always had the slight hope that she would say yeah lets give it another try. She got a new number which I didn't know so in a way it was an enforced NC period and I didn't talk to her for a week then she rang me up on the Saturday asking to go out shopping which I said yes to, the day went OK and we left on pretty good terms and she said she would keep in contact on Facebook but not give me her number so I thought that was fair enough. That same night I was out with some mates and I got a text from an unknown number and I asked who it was and it was her. She text me for the next few days and then she said she couldn't do this any more all the talking so I left her alone. About 5 days went by then at about 2AM on Saturday morning (I was still awake at this point) I got a text off her saying 'I'm sorry' and I was inflicting no contact on myself so I didn't reply then she rang about 5 minutes later and she was upset saying she missed me and she wished we hadn't broken up and all the stuff she'd said about not loving me and she liked other people were lies. I couldn't believe it, it was the thing that I'd wanted for the past 2 months so I was texting her on the saturday and then we didn't text for a few days because I thought I should give her some space after she'd said that so I wasn't mithering about it and she wouldn't change her mind. Well sunday,monday, tuesday went by and she didn't text so I rang her on the wednesday (as this was the day that she said we'd meet to talk about us trying again) and when i met her she said she didn't want to get back together and she didn't mean what she said on the saturday which basically has put me back to the bottom when we first broke up and even after all that I still want her back. Anyway I've not spoken to her in about a week (since she said she didnt want to get back together) and I'm wondering does anyone think this relationship is salvageable? I mean I've helped her in a big way in the past as she'd had trouble with her parents and she even stayed at my house for a few months because it got that bad and I just don't think its our time to finish for good but hey what do I know? I look forward to your responses
ariesgirl-328 Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Hi (: I went through my first real breakup a few months back. My only advice to you is go NC COMPLETELY for atleast 3months...if possible more. She'll have a chance to miss you and realize what life is like without you in it or caring for her every word and she will miss you like hell. After your chosen amount of time passes either call her or answer her finally and just meet up and talk like you were at the beginning of your relationship, happy and excited about life. If she sees this, she will come back. In your mind, you should do NC only to take time to better yourself and try to move on to someone better and who is more decisive. I made the mistake of making myself look completely desperate and calling my ex everyday and messaging nonstop asking for him back. NC will make her miss you. If not, it will atleast help you forget her a little and move on. I swear NC is the only thing that let me let him go.
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