I Hate Facebook.

[cavalier99]

A bad dream that you could barely remember!? I do not wish to be your ex girlfriend right now.

You brought up the email thing and I went straight to my Gmail….

I just deleted ALL of the emails we've shared since 08…. That's CRAZY liberating. I felt a sense of shock once I deleted him on Skype… like that's it. I won't be ever to see HIS name come alive anymore. It's over and DONE. It's probably the best thing I've ever done this whole week.

 

Congrat. Youve really taken a big step forward in your healing!!!. You may be sad about this in a day or so. But like i said it is normal. It is just another step in your recovery that you need to go thru. Pain now for future gain!! Cav

[Kevin_D]

Congrat. Youve really taken a big step forward in your healing!!!. You may be sad about this in a day or so. But like i said it is normal. It is just another step in your recovery that you need to go thru. Pain now for future gain!! Cav

 

I don't agree. As soon as I get over someone, I can read these e-mails and feel happy. When I get dumped, it feels like I've wasted a lot of time on an idiot... But as soon as I'm fully healed, I can look back at the happy moments together with a smile. It's also a good way for me to analyze my own behavior and try to learn from my mistakes.

 

I had the six best years of my life together with my ex. I feel terrible now, but I don't regret being with her. She has changed in the last couple of years, so I'd rather remember how loving and caring she was before that.

[cavalier99]

I don't agree. As soon as I get over someone, I can read these e-mails and feel happy. When I get dumped, it feels like I've wasted a lot of time on an idiot... But as soon as I'm fully healed, I can look back at the happy moments together with a smile. It's also a good way for me to analyze my own behavior and try to learn from my mistakes.

 

I had the six best years of my life together with my ex. I feel terrible now, but I don't regret being with her. She has changed in the last couple of years, so I'd rather remember how loving and caring she was before that.

 

Well i acutally agree with you. Im the same. Once i recover i coudnt careless about seeing pictures or reading old email or even talking or seeing them. No anger, no hate, just happiness for the good times.

 

Im just talking about the immediate aftermath of doing this during the recovery process. She is probably months away from being fully recovered and will have to live thru the emotional roller coaster. And cutting the ties that bind you can be difficult. Even if it is just blocking

Edited November 27, 2013 by cavalier99

[me85]

Seriously. SO DUMB. We all live and learn from our lessons to take to the NEXT relationship. It should be better ONLY IF we are aware of what went wrong and what could help that in the next relationship. It took so long for my heart to catch up to my mind because in my mind, I was SOOO furious. In my heart, I was just so sad and broken.

 

I'm so gladyou realized that you guys are not together anymore for the best. I am sure you have found or WILL find an amazing person to be with.

 

Yes ma'am I do realize that. If he hadn't cheated MAYBE in the future…the very distant future, but there are ZERO chances for us in the future now. HIS loss.

 

I haven't found anyone yet and I'm not even looking or thinking about that right now. I need to break my pattern of jumping into another serious long term RS only like 2-3 months after I've come out of a serious long term RS. lol

 

I think that's where I keep effing up. Plus I have A LOT of recovery to go through from this last RS. /=

Edited November 27, 2013 by me85

[greenfairie]

Well i acutally agree with you. Im the same. Once i recover i coudnt careless about seeing pictures or reading old email or even talking or seeing them. No anger, no hate, just happiness for the good times.

 

Im just talking about the immediate aftermath of doing this during the recovery process. She is probably months away from being fully recovered and will have to live thru the emotional roller coaster. And cutting the ties that bind you can be difficult. Even if it is just blocking

 

 

He's right. I agree with you both actually. Your points make sense. However, I just remembered when I deleted the e-mails earlier.. I wanted to see how I'd feel after reading two of the e-mails. I almost was ready to break out sobbing and I just deleted hundreds and hundreds of those e-mails filled with love notes, pictures, videos (some inappropriate, some really cute mushy ones). My hand was shaking as I deleted, but afterwards, I felt a sense of relief and a sense of Hey I'll be okay.

[greenfairie]

He's right. I agree with you both actually. Your points make sense. However, I just remembered when I deleted the e-mails earlier.. I wanted to see how I'd feel after reading two of the e-mails. I almost was ready to break out sobbing and I just deleted hundreds and hundreds of those e-mails filled with love notes, pictures, videos (some inappropriate, some really cute mushy ones). My hand was shaking as I deleted, but afterwards, I felt a sense of relief and a sense of Hey I'll be okay.

 

It's been almost a year since we've officially ended things and I also think its time for ME to wash out EVERYTHING. I just held on because my naive self assumed that I could go through life okay and strong even with all these pictures but no.. I was wrong. Those pictures/notes/anything associated to him still touched my heart and my heart needs to catch up to my mind first. I have a lot of recovery to do. I was in a five year mess and it's been almost six months since I got out of that weird mess.

[cavalier99]

It's been almost a year since we've officially ended things and I also think its time for ME to wash out EVERYTHING. I just held on because my naive self assumed that I could go through life okay and strong even with all these pictures but no.. I was wrong. Those pictures/notes/anything associated to him still touched my heart and my heart needs to catch up to my mind first. I have a lot of recovery to do. I was in a five year mess and it's been almost six months since I got out of that weird mess.

 

Wow i didnt realize its been so long since your break up.

 

Well for you it is even more important to get rid of all this stuff. I did very soon after my breakup last October and it was over a 8 yr RS. 7 months PURE PURE NC did the trick..it is the only way. She could have died and i wouldnt have known. All mutual friends were deleted too.

 

I was religous about it. Otherwise with contact and keeping all those memories you really cant start to heal.

 

Id say today was a big moment for you. Let the true healing begin!!!! Youll be over this before you know it. You are on the right path. Rock on! Cav

Edited November 27, 2013 by cavalier99

[acidios]

worst part for me..i used the date that we hook up with my exgirl as a password in a lot of sites...god i have to change a lot of passwords..

[bedelgeuse]

I deactivated Facebook the day after she dumped me. It has been 1.5 months since, I layed low on all social media for a month. I ended up blocking her on instagram and pinterest recently because she kept liking my all my pics and people started asking me if we were back together. She hasn't contacted me since we broke up so I found that her "likes" was throwing off my NC in a big way.

[cavalier99]

worst part for me..i used the date that we hook up with my exgirl as a password in a lot of sites...god i have to change a lot of passwords..

 

I knew all my EX's passwords becuase i set up most of her online accounts. She would often ask me to login to do things. When we broke up i asked her to change them becuase i was to tempted to login. She didnt. So i went on her accounts and logged in multiple times with the wrong passowrd and forced her to reset all of her accounts.

 

Man was she pissed!!! Rightfully so. Best move I ever made post BU besides NC . After this i knew id never contact her again and she would not contact me. It was the nuclear option to break all contact!!!! Hahaha.

 

Moral of the stroy. Never know your GF passwords. And if you do make sure they change them in front of you before the final BU if you relationship is heading that way. Cav

[Pa76]

I HATE Facebook. I deleted my Facebook after the break up. Hope next guy isn't on there but hard to find a guy who isn't.

 

Never check an exes Facebook or anything else. It will take you longer to feel better.

[skydiveaddict]

I HATE Facebook. I deleted my Facebook after the break up. Hope next guy isn't on there but hard to find a guy who isn't.

 

Never check an exes Facebook or anything else. It will take you longer to feel better.

 

Agreed. FB is the biggest snitch network on the planet. I've never had a fb account and I never will.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

b

[organizedchaos]

I deactivated Facebook the day after she dumped me. It has been 1.5 months since, I layed low on all social media for a month. I ended up blocking her on instagram and pinterest recently because she kept liking my all my pics and people started asking me if we were back together. She hasn't contacted me since we broke up so I found that her "likes" was throwing off my NC in a big way.

 

I'm not deactivating my fb bc of her. I unfriended her and all her friends. Took down pics. Haven't blocked her. I did block her on Instagram bc even though we both unfollowed each other, she still kept creeping my page and liking my photos too. Was throwing me off so I just blocked her to stop it.

[greenfairie]

I'm not deactivating my fb bc of her. I unfriended her and all her friends. Took down pics. Haven't blocked her. I did block her on Instagram bc even though we both unfollowed each other, she still kept creeping my page and liking my photos too. Was throwing me off so I just blocked her to stop it.

 

I had to deactivate my fb at one point because I kept searching my ex's FB.

Yeah, social media is a bitch when it comes to break ups.

[greenfairie]

I knew all my EX's passwords becuase i set up most of her online accounts. She would often ask me to login to do things. When we broke up i asked her to change them becuase i was to tempted to login. She didnt. So i went on her accounts and logged in multiple times with the wrong passowrd and forced her to reset all of her accounts.

 

Man was she pissed!!! Rightfully so. Best move I ever made post BU besides NC . After this i knew id never contact her again and she would not contact me. It was the nuclear option to break all contact!!!! Hahaha.

 

Moral of the stroy. Never know your GF passwords. And if you do make sure they change them in front of you before the final BU if you relationship is heading that way. Cav

 

Yikes!! Scary thought of an ex going thru my personal social media accts. I know the feeling of temptation to go on an ex's account.

I boguht a computer for my ex and I, he said he'd pay me back but never did, but I still own the computer now so its all good. We SHARE literally everything….. his name is still on the computer lol. I gave the computer away to my mom though since I already have a laptop and Im perfectly happy with it

[Debanked]

Any guy that has a Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram account should promptly turn in their Man Card.

 

~ The Men of the Square Table

[bedelgeuse]

Any guy that has a Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram account should promptly turn in their Man Card.

 

~ The Men of the Square Table

 

Ok then, because by your logic having multiple social media accounts determines masculinity.

 

to quote my favorite cartoon Shin Chan:

 

"to be a man you must have honor, honor and a penis!"

 

Social media is a double edged blade and is simply what you make of it. For me I use it mostly to promote my music and art, as well as a way to connect with fans, and stay connected to long distance family. It can also be a tremendous waste of time and can induce a lot of stress when going through a breakup. I say only use social if it brings something positive into your life, if not, time to ignore it.

[greenfairie]

Wow i didnt realize its been so long since your break up.

 

Well for you it is even more important to get rid of all this stuff. I did very soon after my breakup last October and it was over a 8 yr RS. 7 months PURE PURE NC did the trick..it is the only way. She could have died and i wouldnt have known. All mutual friends were deleted too.

 

I was religous about it. Otherwise with contact and keeping all those memories you really cant start to heal.

 

Id say today was a big moment for you. Let the true healing begin!!!! Youll be over this before you know it. You are on the right path. Rock on! Cav

 

Thanks Cav!!!

Yes, its been that long….I feel crazy lol. our worlds are SO enmeshed you wouldnt believe it. Its hard to move on quicker when our worlds are that entangled.

 

Wow. How did you manage the mutual friends? Its hard for me to lose touch with my mutual friends because they are more than just a mutual friend, they are meaningful relationships in my life.

 

Todays a biggie for me too.. I just realized I can't look my ex up on FB anymore and that kind of shocked me. I'm okay though. I'm trying to avoid ANY way to keep in touch with my ex, even by looking at our old pictures together. Ugh.

[greenfairie]

Ok then, because by your logic having multiple social media accounts determines masculinity.

 

to quote my favorite cartoon Shin Chan:

 

"to be a man you must have honor, honor and a penis!"

 

Social media is a double edged blade and is simply what you make of it. For me I use it mostly to promote my music and art, as well as a way to connect with fans, and stay connected to long distance family. It can also be a tremendous waste of time and can induce a lot of stress when going through a breakup. I say only use social if it brings something positive into your life, if not, time to ignore it.

 

 

I effing agree.

[MoroccoMole]

Oh man I hateee FB too and all other social media. The best thing to do I've discovered post-breakup is to totally avoid them on FB, instagram, twitter whatever. Unfriend, unfollow, whatever you have to do. Out of sight, out of mind. ...My ex gave me her FB pw when we we're together and I still remember it. Not snooping through her stuff is the most difficult temptation I've yet to face in this life and I'm embarrassed and ashamed to say I've been on it several times, I just can't help it =((

Don't be like me lol

[Jules78]

I knew all my EX's passwords becuase i set up most of her online accounts. She would often ask me to login to do things. When we broke up i asked her to change them becuase i was to tempted to login. She didnt. So i went on her accounts and logged in multiple times with the wrong passowrd and forced her to reset all of her accounts.

 

Man was she pissed!!! Rightfully so. Best move I ever made post BU besides NC . After this i knew id never contact her again and she would not contact me. It was the nuclear option to break all contact!!!! Hahaha.

 

Moral of the stroy. Never know your GF passwords. And if you do make sure they change them in front of you before the final BU if you relationship is heading that way. Cav

 

Yeah I knew my bf's and that's how I logged into his Twitter account and saw private messages and figure out who this new woman was he was seeing like 2 days after we broke up. I'm glad I was able to see that thought to remind myself what a pig he is and why I am better off!!

[cavalier99]

Yeah I knew my bf's and that's how I logged into his Twitter account and saw private messages and figure out who this new woman was he was seeing like 2 days after we broke up. I'm glad I was able to see that thought to remind myself what a pig he is and why I am better off!!

 

yeah i logged into her hotmail less than a week after the BU to see if she changed her passoword.

 

I immediatly saw an email with photos of them both on date looking SUPER happy.

 

Ohhh the agony!!!

 

This is when i decided I had no will power and i was going to force change everthing and f*ck how she felt about it even if it was an invasion of her privacy.

 

I practically begged her to change thing because my self control was non existent. and she didnt.

 

It was pure survial mode. I was so ashamed yet also proud of myself. It was like and addict going cold turkey. I knew if i had access to her stuff i was going to slip up sooner or later. Cav

Edited November 27, 2013 by cavalier99

[greenfairie]

yeah i logged into her hotmail less than a week after the BU to see if she changed her passoword.

 

I immediatly saw an email with photos of them both on date looking SUPER happy.

 

Ohhh the agony!!!

 

This is when i decided I had no will power and i was going to force change everthing and f*ck how she felt about it even if it was an invasion of her privacy.

 

I practically begged her to change thing because my self control was non existent. and she didnt.

 

It was pure survial mode. I was so ashamed yet also proud of myself. It was like and addict going cold turkey. I knew if i had access to her stuff i was going to slip up sooner or later. Cav

 

 

Oh my god. I would drop to my knees if I saw my ex with another woman right after the breakup. Id feel so creepy just going on their accounts.. yikes..

 

Are you better now with that though?

[cavalier99]

Oh my god. I would drop to my knees if I saw my ex with another woman right after the breakup. Id feel so creepy just going on their accounts.. yikes..

 

Are you better now with that though?

 

Ohh yea all is cool. She even rents hotel rooms for me and my new girl at a super low rates thru her job.

 

Going thru that pain early on really helped me kill all hope and made my recovery easier. I NEVER broke NC until i was over it. I was hard core.

 

Right after the BU i told her NEVER to contact me again unless she was in a car accident or dying and even then to ge help elswhere. hahaha. There was no communication after that except a bday email she sent me that i didnt respond to.

 

It is all ancient history. I just chatted with her last night. There is no hurt left and even her betrayal and lies right at the end of the RS about the new guy she was planning on dumping me for are all water under the bridge.

 

Time and NC performs miracles!!!.

 

I have known her like 14 years. 8 RS. So i always expected at some point to be on good terms with her once i was recovered. But up to that point i wanted her to explode and burst into flames!!!! lo Rock on! Cav

 

PS this was me lat November in horrible shape. There is hope!!

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/357332-friggin-fed-up-sick-tired-recovery

[Emilia]

I feel like blocking him is just going to stroke his ego, I feel like. I don't want to show him that it bothers me to still see his name on FB :/

So? Who cares how he interprets it? What matters is what's good for you. You need to quit worrying about what other people think, you are your own person.