Fondue Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Good afternoon, everyone. Thank you for reading my thread. I asked for some advice last time, and I really appreciated the responses. I learned a lot and tried to mature as a relationship person as a result of that. I come asking for some advice again. So, Thanksgiving is coming up. (It is actually my favorite holiday!!!). And I have yet to discuss it at all with my girlfriend of ~5months. I always go to my parents house for it, and they typically have some cousins/friends over as well. It's always a great time. My GF has met my family on several occasions... And in the most recent, even helped my mom prep a family meal for that evening. It was just a family thing, plus her (and my brother's LTR girlfriend, whom has been around the family for a long time). During this last meetup with my parents and her, I vaguely remember my mom asking her what her family does for the holiday, but I honestly do not remember her answer. It was something along the lines of culture (my GF is Chinese, and her family is very much in their own culture, non-americanized). It was just a sidebar conversation that she was having with my mom at the dinner table, while I was having a conversation about investments with my dad. The thing is, I don't know whether or not to INVITE her to this Thanksgiving or not. Would she be offended if I didn't even approach the subject? What if I do invite her, but would she be uncomfortable in declining (if she would want to decline, that is). Honestly, I don't even know if her family "celebrates" it (who doesn't though?). I really don't know. I am very uncomfortable with the whole family thing, but she tells me every time that she enjoys my family's company and has a fun time when we visit. My family seems to like her; my mom has gifted her a few things already. But I honestly don't feel comfortable with any of that, and tell my mom to stop, or put things away. I try to keep that separate. So loveshack, I need your help. What do I do? My plan was to avoid the subject all together and hope it doesn't come up. But at the same time, I understand that after 5months, she may feel a bit hurt that I didn't even consider talking to her about it. I am clueless. Thanks again.
d0nnivain Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 First, you need to ask whoever is preparing your thanksgiving meal if it's not you if they have room for her. You are also a little late. It is Tuesday after all. At 5 months I wouldn't assume you're doing thanksgiving together but you could ask what her plans are. Then ask if she would like to have dessert with you or better yet, take her out tomorrow night. It's one of the biggest party nights of the year.
Under The Radar Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I would invite her. It sounds like she and her family do not celebrate the holiday (not Americanized). She has already met your family and everyone seems to accept her. She seems comfortable with them too, considering she helped your mom prep a meal. Many people celebrate the holiday simply to get together with family/friends and recognize what they are, indeed, thankful for. A five month relationship that's going well is certainly one of those things. No harm can come by asking.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Do you want her to have Thanksgiving dinner with you or not? If you do, find out from the host if it's OK to bring her, and if so, invite her without pressure. You think it would be fun for her to join you, but won't be offended if she declines. She'll probably be happy you asked no matter what. No woman would be offended by her man inviting her to join him for a family holiday event. She would most likely be pleased and flattered, whether she chooses to join you or not. Happy Thanksgiving! 2
StanMusial Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 Do you want her to have Thanksgiving dinner with you or not? I was wondering the same thing. Heck I don't even have to ask my folks. There will be 30 or 40 people there for Thanksgiving dinner.
Author Fondue Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 Hey guys, thanks for the replies. Just wanted to say it's no longer a question that needs to be answered. Not sure if I can close the thread. We kept missing each other by text/call today, so we finally got to speak a few min ago. She said I made her upset yesterday and she wants to discuss it in person instead of the phone. Because she doesn't want to tell me what it is over the phone, I don't think it is fair to myself to ask her to join me without resolving this issue first. Thanks again
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