john16789 Posted December 29, 2004 Posted December 29, 2004 Well today is a sad day. Rently my girl and I have been fighting around the clock. But, we have been fighting about history, current events, etc etc She is Jewish, and I am german American. We had a very good 5 months together. But recently she feels I am in someway not as sensitive about the holocaust, and I feel she is too vehement in hatred for germans that lived in Germany at the time, (my father suffered greatly being a little german boy so I am somewhat sensitive to constant attacks) She also feels I am "antisemitic", as I said israel plays a part in us fighting the war in iraq. She told her sister these things, and now her entire family feels I am "anti-semitic" When I met her, I viewed her as an individual, not caring what her religion is.(although she isnt even religious) I loved her for her, and really liked the rest of her family. But to me, it is important to be able to discuss things, whatever the topic, intellectually, and intelligently. I never, ever slurred jews, said they never suffered, etc etc. She went to read right wing hate sites, and said they also think some of the things i have said, so I must be one fo them.. i feel this is absolutley ridiculous. My point is that she alwas says how everyone is an individual etc etc. Yet , even though she doesnt practice any religion, and only one of her parents is jewish, she lumps her self in the group of "jewish", and steadfastly and eagerly fights for israels every cause, says degrading things about muslims, germans, etc etc. I feel I was the one looking at things objectively. If she didnt agree, she would just call me "anti-semite" i asked friends what they thought, and they all think she is entirely way too sensitive, and they know I am not some hateful person. Oh well, I guess that is it. Just wanted to vent. I think it sucks that people carry around baggage, beliefs, fears, etc, all because they have toi lump themselves within a certain group, and then feel extreme sensitivities. I will miss her alot, and today is really the third day of the break up. Maybe it is good this happened, but it still sucks.
missopinionated Posted January 1, 2005 Posted January 1, 2005 Do you know that Shakespeare quote "Methinks the lady doth protest too much"? Sometimes people who are really strident and obstinant in their views are that way to cover up their own prejudices. Hmmm? Sometimes, people are looking for a cause to believe in or a group to be part of and it sounds like that's what she has done. It is hateful to call someone by a name and her calling you an anti-semite when such a thing is not true (RIGHT?) is just as hateful. By whatever name one calls it, a radical is a radical is a radical. Once the pendulum swings into the all-black or all-white, there's no discussion. Discussion and thought requires comfort in the grey. So. Do you want to hang around this person at the moment? Probably not. Let it go. She will probably come more to the grey with time, but at the moment, she's going to be really hard to reach.
Weird Posted January 1, 2005 Posted January 1, 2005 she needs to let go of the bloody past events that you nor your direct family had ANYTHING to do with and just accept history. She seems to be too touchy and defensive simply because of stuff that happened to "her people" when she wasn't on the map to be created. Oh and you arent anti-semetic because fo your comments on Israel's part in current events. You were telling the truth. She reminds me of some black people who ALWAYS cry racism whenever a black person is involved in a headline grabbing situation even when there is nothing that points to race/racism being a factor. I guess I am now an anti-semetic racist.
Gottabestrong Posted January 1, 2005 Posted January 1, 2005 Hi, I dont know if you want to hear this, but here is my advice. Let her go! I am jewish too and extremely sensitive of any remarks against Israel or judaism. Even though I might like a person, I could never get over this sensitivity, especially from my boyfriend. If she is anything like me, she will never be happy with someone who does not love or support Israel as much as she does. Let her go and find a guy who shares her views, and you find a woman who does not carry that 'baggage' around. Just to make this clear to everyone, we dont chose to carry that 'baggage' around, but is something we have to live with.
dyermaker Posted January 1, 2005 Posted January 1, 2005 "Methinks the lady doth protest too much" Bingo. Get far far away, you don't need an oversensitive drama queen holding you responsible for something that happened before you were born.
dyermaker Posted January 1, 2005 Posted January 1, 2005 If she is anything like me, she will never be happy with someone who does not love or support Israel as much as she does. She doesn't sound like someone who loves and supports Israel. Listen : "[she] fights for israels every cause, says degrading things about muslims, germans, etc etc." That's not fighting for a cause at all. That's just being a whiny bigot. Just to make this clear to everyone, we dont chose to carry that 'baggage' around, but is something we have to live with. No, chauvinism is a choice. The idea that black people somehow have to live with the legacy of slavery, or that Jewish people have to live with the legacy of Holocaust, is laughable--You don't see me complaining about the baggage of the Potato Famine, do ya? Bottom line, if you choose to carry the baggage of historical injustices done to your ethnic group, it's entirely because you're into that kind of narcicissm. I have far less sympathy for self-made victims.
Pocky Posted January 2, 2005 Posted January 2, 2005 I have far less sympathy for self-made victims. And we do so love to be a victim...a common theme on this forum.
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