aybc123 Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 (edited) So, brokeup with ex 4+ months ago relatively mutually and amicably, month and a bit after that had a huge fight and she ended up ignoring me until a couple of weeks ago when i broke NC. Had a little more contact since then and things seem ok-ish between us now. I'm feeling decent, i still have feelings for her but i wouldnt say i was heart broken anymore. I also have a pretty huge crush on another girl right now. Anyway, in 2-3 weeks my grad school dept has a black tie christmas ball that's run every year. A good friend asked me to go and ill know a few other friends there too. Plus, the new girl i have a thing for is going to be there (shes one of the new intake) and it seems like too good an opportunity to miss to get to know her better. Sounds great right? well yes except that my ex will also be there, along with a number of mutual friends (that are more her friends than mine). The ball is relatively small, like 50 people so avoiding her and them all night might be tricky and i do feel like it is slightly 'her territory' if that makes sense. I just dont know what to do, i want to go because it'll be a fun time with my friend, i also really want to go so i get a chance to talk to this other girl. However, i don't want my ex or her friends to think that i'm just going because she is (i dont think i am...) or if i hit on this girl that im just trying to make her jealous etc Anyway, i can see it going great on one hand: having a friendly chat with my ex and clearing the air some more managing to set up a date with the other girl enjoy a good meal and a few drinks with friends Orrrr i can see it going horribly on the other: get blanked by ex who is angry because she thinks I'm on her turf or trying to mess with her/ get her back getting shot down by new girl drinking too much and making a fool out of myself somehow Opinions on what to do would be appreciated, thanks. Edited November 26, 2013 by aybc123
CaliBabe Posted November 26, 2013 Posted November 26, 2013 I think the fact that you question how things will go is a red flag. If you were totally ready you would know without question. I obviously can't tell you what to do but I think it might delay you in your healing if something were to happen. I personally wouldn't go. No black tie event is worth my sanity. 2
Mariposa10 Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 I have a couple of questions... What kind of contact you and your ex have had? What have you two said to each other? If she was to contact you and ask you for a second chance what would you do? Now, about the new girl. Have you talked to her at all? Do you know if she's single? From what I read, if I were to go I wouldn't talk to the new girl and maybe just say a quick hi to my ex and that would be all. I would try to enjoy the night with my friend, just you and your friend.
TylerDurdenn Posted November 28, 2013 Posted November 28, 2013 Personally I wouldn't go, as I'd end up getting drunk and crying to her or head butting any guy that goes near her. 1
Author aybc123 Posted November 29, 2013 Author Posted November 29, 2013 (edited) I have a couple of questions... What kind of contact you and your ex have had? What have you two said to each other? If she was to contact you and ask you for a second chance what would you do? Now, about the new girl. Have you talked to her at all? Do you know if she's single? From what I read, if I were to go I wouldn't talk to the new girl and maybe just say a quick hi to my ex and that would be all. I would try to enjoy the night with my friend, just you and your friend. I re-established contact in a kinda cutesy way via some whatsapp pics which she seemed to like. Since then we've only texted briefly, just how we're both doing and about swapping some stuff back of ours that got missed the first time around. I initiated the texting but we were both just polite and semi-friendly i was probably a bit more engaged. I also readded her on fb but she's yet to accept it, she did change her cover photo to some picture of her on a holiday we went on together just after i added her, so, i dunno whats going on with that, maybe she doesn't want to readd me and cause drama if shes seeing someone else or her friends/family told her to move on which is fair enough. Dont think im reading too much into it, i'd normally just chalk it up to coincidence but it's pretty classic her to do that kind of thing. I honestly don't know what I would say, i imagine i'd probably go for it after some convincing, but only because i haven't met anybody, if i did i'd probably want to give it a shot with them (i'd rather date the new girl than get back together with ex at this point if that answers the question). Yeah i've talked to her a bit, im pretty sure she's single but ive only talked to her in a work setting so i wouldnt know for absolute sure, she isnt taking a date to the ball though. And what's the point in going if i don't talk to her?! Edited November 29, 2013 by aybc123
Mariposa10 Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 I re-established contact in a kinda cutesy way via some whatsapp pics which she seemed to like. Since then we've only texted briefly, just how we're both doing and about swapping some stuff back of ours that got missed the first time around. I initiated the texting but we were both just polite and semi-friendly i was probably a bit more engaged. I also readded her on fb but she's yet to accept it, she did change her cover photo to some picture of her on a holiday we went on together just after i added her, so, i dunno whats going on with that, maybe she doesn't want to readd me and cause drama if shes seeing someone else or her friends/family told her to move on which is fair enough. Dont think im reading too much into it, i'd normally just chalk it up to coincidence but it's pretty classic her to do that kind of thing. I honestly don't know what I would say, i imagine i'd probably go for it after some convincing, but only because i haven't met anybody, if i did i'd probably want to give it a shot with them (i'd rather date the new girl than get back together with ex at this point if that answers the question). Yeah i've talked to her a bit, im pretty sure she's single but ive only talked to her in a work setting so i wouldnt know for absolute sure, she isnt taking a date to the ball though. And what's the point in going if i don't talk to her?! Hmmm, sounds like you're kind of over your ex if you would prefer to date this new girl. I would probably go, but don't get drunk?
elbe Posted November 29, 2013 Posted November 29, 2013 Don't let your ex ruin your extracurricular activities. It's fine that she/he is going.. just say Hi and move along. no in depth conversations and chase your prey. Your ex likely has his/her sights on a target of their own. If you both decide not to go because you suspect the other is going then NOBODY IS GOING TO GET LAID. ahem excuse me.
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