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Guys, what if he comes back!


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Posted

He said this is the "last time", but it never is. And he knows that, he said that he knows it. I know he loves me and I know he cares. Maybe we will make up and he will realize how much I mean to him?!

 

I'm still moving in with him (until I find another place), so maybe it will work out...

 

He has issues, he is afraid to open up and commit, he is afraid to fall in love, he told me all of this!

 

Maybe tonight he will tell me he made a mistake and he wants us to work, maybe he is just as afraid as I am....

Posted

And maybe a chicken will be president?

 

So he's dumped you many times but this time will be different? Seems like you continue to waste your time on something that has already shown itself to fail on multiple occassions.

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Posted
And maybe a chicken will be president?

 

So he's dumped you many times but this time will be different? Seems like you continue to waste your time on something that has already shown itself to fail on multiple occassions.

 

You are right.

 

Why is it so hard for me?

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Posted
You are right.

 

Why is it so hard for me?

 

Because your codependency keeps you in illusion rather than reality.

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Posted
Because your codependency keeps you in illusion rather than reality.

 

Oh. That sounds awful.

 

So everything I love about him is just an illusion?

Posted
Oh. That sounds awful.

 

So everything I love about him is just an illusion?

If you read back all of the ways you were mistreated... yes.

Posted

It's more that you're finding it too hard to let go.

 

After the amount of times he's yo-yoed and the hurt that he's caused you, you shouldn't even consider this kind of "what if".

 

However, if he does realize that he's made a mistake, he needs to prove it. He can't lapse into old habits because he's lonely or simply used to it. He needs to be willing to climb belly-first through glass shards to get to you.

 

If he's not willing to put in that kind of effort, he'll just leave again when the relationship gets "too hard". Even then, he's probably not worth it.

 

Best to assume the breakup is final. Accept it and OWN it. Agree with it. Make it your own choice as well. It'll make dealing with him easier and put it into his head that he has, in fact, lost you forever.

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